Porn.

I love my bf very much, and he loves me.

I have always been insecure and jealous. He gave up porn for me.

I just wondered if anyone else gets jealous of porn? I hate the idea of him watching and imaging someone else. In my mind he should only want me.

Any opinions? x

Sugar,

We have loads of people coming here wanting to know about Porn, Feelings About Porn, etc.

MANY people get jealous.

I personally think it's disgusting, shameful for anyone in a monogamous relationship to use, and my boyfriend soon gave up his occasional viewing for me too.

I'm glad it's not just me! All I said was I didn't like it and he said "Ok, I'll stop" and he did. Thankyou x

Great boyfriend.

It makes my stomach sick too... but what are you gonna do...

Even when they get aroused with all those porn sluts, they're so not gonna dump any of us for that gals.

They see them like objects, not like other human beings they can care for. So, in that part I wouldnt be jealous... but still, is kinky and disgusting no doubt about it.

It warrents mentioning pictures arent real. In any case.

What do you mean "pictures aren't real"? they're of real people.....

Well, they are often doctored a lot/completely. But they still follow the idea of women being objects for gratification/visual infidelity objects.

just wondered if anyone else gets jealous of porn? I hate the idea of him watching and imaging someone else. In my mind he should only want me.

Did you agree to stop reading or watching romance novels and movie with hot male actors? Maybe he wouldn't like the idea of you watching these guys and thinks you should want only him. Or is just the sex and nudity that makes the difference?

I don't have a problem with porn stars. These women do it because they want to. They want to be objectified and treated like that.

You have no reason to be jealous. Your boyfriend is with you isn't he? You should only be jealous if he has a real life girl he's lusting over.

Having the similar problem, I did a bit of a research on the Internet.

Try this, interesting read, a bit on a feminist side, but at least looks at porn from a slightly different perspective.

For some reason, it made me feel a bit better.

link removed

I might not have a reason to feel jealous, but I still do! I can't help that. We've talked about it and he isn't bothered if I see anything - but I don't want to, and he knows I don't want to see anyone else. x

I think I understand what you're saying.

You are not jealous of those girls, you are jealous of him wanting to look at them. Right?

You said he gave up porn for you.

Does that solve the problem?

Are you still jealous now that he stopped?

Yeah, I don't like the idea of him wanting to watch them (or doing so!)

He did stop, but I still get funny about it sometimes. It didn't solve the problem, but it made me feel better him not doing it any more. x

I liked this thread.

Even though my boyfriend doesn't watch it, I cry when I remember I used to. I feel utterly ashamed.

Wow! How did you get ur bf to stop!?! Wish I could do that! Lol

It bothers me a little that my bf looks at porn, but I figure there are worst things that he could be doing. It's not like as if he's going to cheat on me with any of those girls anyways!

And like it was already said, men see the girls in porn more as visual help for gratification, and not for 'real' persons.

It still warrents to say that pictures arent real, they're fantasies.

Doom didnt kill kids in columbine.

Grand theft auto doesnt kill real life cops.

Porn doesnt make him a cheater.

If we're going to defame men for viewing porn, we should be consistent and defame them for masturbating period. They're simulating the act of sex stimulation wise, and since it's not with his partner then it's not fair for her is it?

Our fantasies represent our deepest desires.

Some of those desires we would like to act out in real life, some we would never even want to try.

But we can never dismiss our fantasies all together. They are important part of us.

Fantasies are the deepest, (darkest?), most intimate part of us.

I don't know about other people, but I definitely want to share that part with my SO, in a meaningful relationship.

About the women in particular: the way we look and the way people perceive us is very important. We are 'wired that way' - more probably, we are shaped by the society and women's (and men's') magazines.

Why do you think there are so many eating disorders among women?

Women are prepared to pay good money, just to look better.

Women are prepared to risk their health and undertake all sorts of plastic surgeries.

We want to look good.

No matter how important, successful, educated we are, we still NEED to look good.

We have been trained all our lives to think less of ourselves if people don't find us beautiful.

I was sitting in a pub the other day, and there was a beauty salon accross the road. It had a huge advertisement saying:

" INDULGE YOURSELF: FULL LEG WAX"

You see where I'm coming from?

All this said, some women feel somewhat threatened by the fact that their SO fantasises about 'better looking examples' of the female species.

We want to look good (for you) and by demonstrating the desire to look at hundreds of naked female bodies, you send us the message that we didn't succeed.

Disclaimer

Not all women feel this way, and I am not trying to generalise.

I'm not trying to say that all / many / most women feel this way. But I know there are some who do.

This is just my opinion (open to public scrutiny) and I'm open to change it.

Also, I am not trying to defame men for viewing porn.

I'm just trying to explain why it may hurt.

Sometimes I feel weird that I like watching porn(occasionally)...Then I think about people that are obsessed with it.

Skittle, don't feel bad. If he was willing to abandon a relationship for pornography then he has some serious issues...

Take care. Blessed Be.

heres my take and its just mine.

Porn is Mind rotting pap, net porn dubaly so.

it warps you sex life as you sex the sex act throw the

some one eases eyes.

The act of sex is all about consent, if two or more humans conset to sex willingly then thats fine, but you have no way of knowing that some on in porn has consented to there sex act being made into porn.

Thats what worrys me the most about the net porn boom, how many men and woman have become sex slaves to make some one other than them rich.

Also net porn opens up the door to some very dark rooms, which can suck in the vonirubel and gulerbull.

But this is just my take,

is there any such thing as good Porn, not well made porn but porn you and your partner would whach. Would it be a film of yours selfs.

now we get to the real bad stuff, what happons when after a brake up

your home movie ends up on the web. When you made it you consented but never to your ex showing it to the world.

So you see, thats why I have a problem with porn.

There's a major difference between being *naturally wired to favour visual stimulation as a man* and deliberately looking at porn. MAJOR difference - the latter is a choice.

Any man who respects a woman he is with will respond in the positive to a reasonable request to stop. End of.

(I'm not someone willing to change my opinion, I'm a close minded whatever)

I read this advice column which put it an interesting spin on it. link removed

I don't know if that link works. It sometimes bothers me when I would catch my bf looking at porn, but I would quickly talk myself down because I wanted to be okay with it. I didn't want to change him. I sometimes get curious myself and would be upset if he tried to limit my sexuality. I don't believe looking at porn is problematic in a relationship unless I try to compete with those women. And I am not interested in doing so, and he does not compare them to me anyways, so what's the big deal?

As long as I'm not getting neglected, then I don't have a problem. He uses porn to masterbate with, I use toys. He doesn't get jealous of my toys (I don't think) so he does his own thing without me getting upset or worried.

Although if I did have a problem, it would be nice to know he would quit.

Just my two cents.

'Ello 'Ello Skittle ;]

Some of the replies on here are a little more than 'opinions', but more tactless rants. BUTT OUT, * * * *ERS.

Right. Mr X ;] has willingly given it up. I understand that you're still funny about it because firstly thinking about the fact he USED to can be a bit of a bugger and, it is inevitable unless he skips page 3 of The Sun. But it shall fade, [we both hope, eh?]

I'm ON YOUR SIDE. Its not abnormal. And porn is dirty.

But ohhhhhhhhhh no, Dean's phone company keep 'sending' him video samples, including porn, which he 'is unable to delete'.

Grrr.

I LOVE YOU!

xx

this will be controversial i am sure...but i like watching porn, with or without B/F, however...i do get jealous if i know he has masterbated to it without me there. Also he watched 'soft porn' not anything that would make me thing 'urghhh'. I personally feel more threatened by a pretty girl in a bar then i would by my bloke sat at home knocking one off to a dirty movie he was watching on the t.v.

I think porn has its purpose, some women hate it, others aren't bothered, some like it and won't admit. At the end of the day, he isn't masterbating or getting turned on by the thought of being with any of the porn stars - just by the image and what it represents. Also, its the idea that the normal 'girl next door' types aren't as experimentative or dirty.

As long as he isn't addicted, i think its perfectly healthy and normal to be turned on by porn....

I was joking Porn isnt dirty. Unless there's male on male back passage action going on. Or any back passage for that matter. Why do people enjoy anal? Whyyy?

I was joking Porn isnt dirty. Unless there's male on male back passage action going on. Or any back passage for that matter. Why do people enjoy anal? Whyyy?

Well I think that's a whoooolllle different thread entirely!

My policy is...don't knock it til you try it.