I'm so tired today.

I don't know what's wrong with me. My head is in a fog, and I'm drained of energy.

I love my boyfriend and usually can't wait to see him, but I kind of don't want to today.

I don't feel like myself.

I slept until 3:20pm today.

It's crazy.

I realized today that I'm going to really miss my counselor.

She's the only one who really knows and completely understands my situation.
She was my encourager.

I feel so sad now, definitely more alone.

She was the one who helped me sort through my feelings and reminded me that I was justified in feeling that way.

Before I went to my counselor I was a complete emotional wreck, I couldn't sit in one place for more than 5 minutes, and I was completely overwhelmed with emotions that I couldn't sort through.

I almost feel like crying ya know, alone again.

I know they have counselors at the rape center but how am I possibly going to explain to them everything that happened to me?

I think my counselor is the only one who knows everything because she has worked through it with me over the past few months?

What am I going to do now?

When I get a job then I'll be able to start attending sessions again.
But I don't graduate until December.

I just knew that I'd have my counselor with me to work through this semester, but now..........

How am I supposed to be expected to deal with everthing?

Now that I need support the most, my dad is trying to push me out into the "real world".

Out of all the times he chooses to do so, he chooses now.

I don't know what to do. I honestly don't know.

I'm actually starting to feel sad. I don't want to start feeling hopeless again.

I feel like the odds are stacked against me.

I'm trying, I'm really trying.

How am I suppose to make it through my days now?

I don't know.

I've become more appreciative of the small things though.
In a way I feel like I'm becoming a little more centered.

I feel silent. That's how I feel.

I don't even know if I'm frustrated. I kind of feel like I'm dying, and I just want to lay here and wait until it passes.

I'm supposed to be able to think.
Yet it's so hard for me to see things sometimes.

I've been cleaning up my apartment for 3 days now.

Isn't that crazy?!

Why can't I move and think like normal? Because that's what I want.

And I miss my boyfriend, but I don't want him to get worried about me, and he does.

I really need to find strength.

There are things I want but it's like I can't seem to reach them.
I've always been the type of person who will work until I get what I want, but now-a-days, it's just not coming.

I see the things I want, they are on my mind, but that's the only place they are.
They are so far from my reach right now, and I want to know what's blocking me.
What's blocking me from being the person I used to be?

I just don't know right now.