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Am I forgetting anything before I go?


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OK, so I am going to do it, but I want to make sure that I am not forgetting anything before I do.

Below is the list I made of what I had to do to get ready:

-Write letters to husband and 2 daughters

-Write letter to only friend

-leave everything to husband

-Make video for girls to see when they get older

 

I am only asking because I don't want to leave anything unanswered.

The letters contain the reasons why I am doing it, that they couldn't have done anything to make life easier or better for me, that I am miserable and sick of living like this.

 

Marlena

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Wow! I really hope this is a sick joke for a teenagers amusement. If it's not, please stay here and talk about it. Suicide is not they key to solve anything. Life is hard, everyone knows that. But you are judged by how you cope with it, one day at a time. To kill yourself will not solve anything, and turn even more people into a state of emotional desperation that I believe you are in now, such as your husband and daughters.

 

Please, talk to me.

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You are forgetting one big thing: WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOUR FAMILY.

 

If you had any idea of the hell that you will be putting your family through, then you would not do this. Have you ever seen a family after a member of it committs suicide? I have, twice. My cousin committed suicide 27 years ago, and his family has never recovered. My wife's cousin committed suicide last year, and that family is a wreck.

 

Only murder is more selfish than suicide. Don't put your family through such a hell.

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Yes you are forgetting one thing - that these people love you and will never be able to fully live again without you in their lives. You mean so much more to the world than you can see right now. There will always be another way to fix your problems, you do not have to do this no matter what. Suicide will solve nothing, it will truly only make things worse. I know you don't know me, but I care about you and I do not want you to hurt yourself in any way.

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No, it is not a joke. I am trying to make sure that I leave no stone unturned. I don't want my kids or husband to think that they did anything to cause this. I have been depressed my entire like (32 years) and am not willing to "deal" anymore. I have been through therapy, taken meds, been in the hospital and nothing has worked.

Not much else to say. I just hope that I am telling them everything in the letters.

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Marlena, think about what you're doing. Just close your eyes and try to imagine what you will be doing to your friends, family, daughters. If you do this, they will never be the same again. I'm sorry to say it, but they may fall into the same trap that you may be getting into. What if they were to get so deperessed that they were to kill themselves? It's the escape. But it's the wrong escape. Before you do anything, please reply on here about what has happened, or anything that we can do. I know we're all strangers to you, but we do care about you, and none of us want you to do this.

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I know they love me and that's why I have to do this. My moodswings are interferring with everything. I cannot go out in public without having panic attacks. I am not contributing to the world in a productive way. I am constantly crying and sad.

If they love me then they will understand why this must be done.

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I am taking you seriously, suicide is a selfish act, and you will destroy your children, they do NOT deserve this, and YOU do NOT deserve to die so early... there is a way out, and it starts with you CHOOSING TO LIVE....I'm so sorry you have been dealing with depression for so long, I'm sure it seems like a never ending painful cycle.. but CHOOSE LIFE and your CHILDREN... would you want to inflict the pain of your choice of suicide onto a life time of your children having depression over your choice?

 

keep talking to us here... we care... and remember your children, having lost my father at a young age, (not to suicide) BUT I was still mad at him for "leaving" us... I've never gotten over his death, but at least he was NOT a coward, he did NOT committ suicide, he died of natural causes but YOU have a CHOICE... please choose LIFE AND YOUR CHILDREN FIRST.... Let us know how your'e doing, keep talking it out here, and talk to someone you trust in your life, have you told anybody that you are considering this?

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It's alright. I am not doing it NOW, but in a few days time. It has been a planned date for a few weeks.

I just wanted to see if there was anyone that wished someone would've said something in a letter that they would've like to hear.

I know that I wish my friend Kevin would've left a letter saying anything other than, I am unhappy and must do this.

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I have not and will not tell anyone. I have no one to tell anyway. The only people in my life are my husband, children and one "friend".

I know that life will be tough for my children, but they will have their father. I also left a video.

I know that I am a coward, weak and selfish, but I have been nothing but giving, helpful, kind and caring towards everyone I meet. It is "me" time.

I'm sorry, I did not mean to make anyone upset or angry.

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ok...have u thought anything about what this will do to your family...it will completely screw up their whole lives...u being there moody and everything is a h*** of alot better than u killing yourself and not being there at all...think about what this would do to your family!!! ive thought about suicide, i didnt do it cuz i knew it would completely screw up my mom, sister, dad, and boyfriend. they love me too much to lose me...its not worth it...please dont kill yourself...please...

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I have not and will not tell anyone. I have no one to tell anyway. The only people in my life are my husband, children and one "friend".

I know that life will be tough for my children, but they will have their father. I also left a video.

I know that I am a coward, weak and selfish, but I have been nothing but giving, helpful, kind and caring towards everyone I meet. It is "me" time.

I'm sorry, I did not mean to make anyone upset or angry.

 

You're not a coward yet. You havn't commited the act. There is still time to pull out of there. Talk with your husband and daughters face to face. They're your family, they WILL help you!

 

And trust me, telling them that you THOUGHT about commiting suicide is A LOT better then following through with it.

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Planned date for a few weeks? I'm surprised you can still look at into your husbands and daughters eyes. They are your family, your life! And you're leaving them all behind. Life is such a sensative aspect. Once you're gone, you can't come back.

 

Yes, it has been tough, but I have to keep telling myself that I am doing the right thing. I cannot be miserable and try to raise productive members of society. I am afraid that if I were to stay and raise them that they will end up not being very happy people.

My husband is awesome and I know that he will be a wonderful support to them.

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Yes, it has been tough, but I have to keep telling myself that I am doing the right thing. I cannot be miserable and try to raise productive members of society. I am afraid that if I were to stay and raise them that they will end up not being very happy people.

My husband is awesome and I know that he will be a wonderful support to them.

 

But the thing is, you're not doing the right thing! And how about right now? Are your daughters happy? Have you seen them smile? Have you seen them laugh? Have they ever ONCE told you that they loved you? If so, I must say that you have made a damn good mother! You may not realize it, but you have no idea how many kids grew up without a mom and/or dad. Who never got an "I love you" there entire life.

 

Your husband may be awesome now, but if you were to kill yourself it was be devistating to him. Hell, it would be devistating to all of us! Including myself! Sure he'd support the kids I'm sure, but he would never be the same.

 

You both pledged in sickness and in health, right? This counts! Talk to him about it, that's what he is for!

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But the thing is, you're not doing the right thing! And how about right now? Are your daughters happy? Have you seen them smile? Have you seen them laugh? Have they ever ONCE told you that they loved you? If so, I must say that you have made a damn good mother! You may not realize it, but you have no idea how many kids grew up without a mom and/or dad. Who never got an "I love you" there entire life.

 

Your husband may be awesome now, but if you were to kill yourself it was be devistating to him. Hell, it would be devistating to all of us! Including myself! Sure he'd support the kids I'm sure, but he would never be the same.

 

You both pledged in sickness and in health, right? This counts! Talk to him about it, that's what he is for!

Yes, they smile all the time. They are so young and innocent and I want them to stay that way. They laugh all the time and have tons of fun. I love to play with them and they are very beautiful.

My older daughter does say "I yub you".

I am afraid that if I talk to my husband he is just going to admit me to a hospital or something. I can never go back there. It was the worst experience!

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Marlena, with all due respect...

 

Yes, it has been tough, but I have to keep telling myself that I am doing the right thing. I cannot be miserable and try to raise productive members of society. I am afraid that if I were to stay and raise them that they will end up not being very happy people.

My husband is awesome and I know that he will be a wonderful support to them.

 

 

If you are having to tell yourself that is the right thing, well guess what it isn't. You're not giving your kids enough credit here either and your way of thinking is jaded. Your kids will not be happier without you and if your husband is so wonderful, why are you going to destroy that? If everybody just checked out when things got tough, who would be left? Do you think your husband will be much happier when your gone? The kids too, they are going to be so happy too, right? Look as a parent, husband and son, I cannot imagine hurting someone else because I couldn't handle life. You may be feeling loveless and lifeless but those around you love you for who you are. Imagine the guilt you will place on those left behind. I have counseled those left behind and I'm telling you there will be more damage done by you committing this selfish act, than if you chose to stay and do the best you can. Being a parent is tough but it is also a responsibility that you need to see through. Your husband may be as solid as a rock but without you, he may crumble and ultimately fail. You are out of touch with what your importance to them means. How would you feel if he committed suicide and left you as the lone parent?

 

RC

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I would protect them with all my heart! I love them so much!

 

But can you see that your suicide will be doing the exact opposite thing. It will be harming them more than you can imagine.

 

Please go find someone who has survived the suicide of a family member, and you talk to them. Find out what will happen to your family.

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Then how is killing yourself protecting them with all your heart. If that is the way you feel you should be willing to suffer this life so that they may live happily as children?

 

I just don't think that my suffering is going to help them. I am scared that if things were to get worse then I would end up harming them worse.

I think that if they were to grow up in my home that I would mentally or emotionally screw them up.

I could not live with myself if I did that!

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