Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23

Thread: What are some signs of your ex wanting to get back together

  1. #1
    shoebaby1
    Bronze Member shoebaby1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    575
    Thanked
    6

    What are some signs of your ex wanting to get back together

    Your ex wanting to get back together with you???? or atleast wanting to work it out. I was just curious. Thanks

  2. #2
    joyce1412
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    705
    Thanked
    1
    don't look at signs, realize that the only thing that means you might get back together is when your ex says, "i made a mistake and i want you back." anything less than that is not good enough.

    i thought i was seeing "signs" when my ex came back into my life a little while ago. but they weren't signs, he was just being weak, missing me, wanting to be friends. by reading those as good signs, i really screwed myself up and went backwards in my healing. i wish i had known then to look for concrete intentions and words.

    so, for the record, even if he wants to hang out every single day, tells you he misses you, whatever...it doesn't mean anything. if your ex wants you back, he'll let you know in words AND actions.

  3. #3
    pacopaco
    Bronze Member pacopaco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    los angeles
    Age
    42
    Posts
    502
    Gender
    Male
    that's good advice. i feel the same way now. I feel like she's trying to reach out to me, or is she? she's got stuff on her myspace now that hints at things i've said and interests of mine. it's weird to see that stuff. her myspace, by the way also is saturated with things that seem things are not going well for her. I know i shouldn't be looking at that stuff, because it's true what people say about every little reminder. in real space or cyber, apparently

  4. #4
    need2bme
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,780
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Joyce: AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! My ex sends me mixed signals EVERY day and it is tiresome. Short of, I love you and we can make this work, is NOTHING!

  5. #5
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    45,860
    Thanked
    1037
    I agree Joyce!!!!

    The ONLY sign is when they call you and say, "I made a mistake - let's get back together."

    Anything less than that is nothing.

  6. 08-28-2006, 05:39 PM

  7. #6
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    45,860
    Thanked
    1037
    Quote Originally Posted by Viper62382 [Register to see the link]
    Even for the stubborn girls? How about the whole concept that men are "supposed" to initiate relationship contact, or in this case, re-contact? Ofcourse after a good time of some NC.

    NO LOOPHOLES! We have talked about this.

    The only sign that your ex wants to get back together is IF THEY SAY THAT, IN THOSE WORDS!

  8. #7
    need2bme
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,780
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Viper: I want the ex back, but I KNOW I want it back LIKE IT WAS!! It won't be. I don't know if she could forget what transpired before. I know I couldn't. I don't want to be with someone who does not love me.

  9. 08-28-2006, 06:46 PM

  10. #8
    joyce1412
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    705
    Thanked
    1
    The ONLY sign is when they call you and say, "I made a mistake - let's get back together."

    Anything less than that is nothing.


    and some might be thinking, "oh, that never happens, no one's that forward." but a person who wants to get back with you honestly does that.

    just last week my friend was approached by her ex of about three months. he had seen her a few days before at a party with her new BF. after that he kept calling her, texting her. but the point is, when he saw her in a club a few days later he said, verbatim, "i'm in love with you. i want you back."

    too little, too late? of course. he was a total jerk to her, and i highly doubt that he "loves" her, he's too caught up in his own selfish games. but the point is, when a person really wants something, he'll stick his neck out a little bit to get it. no doubt about it.

    she's got stuff on her myspace now that hints at things i've said and interests of mine. it's weird to see that stuff. her myspace, by the way also is saturated with things that seem things are not going well for her.

    hmm. well, if she wants to get back with you, it SOUNDS like she would be doing it because she feels unfulfilled and happy, which is not a good reason for getting back together.

    believe it or not, as late as a few weeks ago, i had been hearing about some things that seemed to indicate that my ex's life wasn't going that well either. and you know what's sad? i started to get my hopes up that he would want me back. "his life sucks without me, he'll realize that without me around it's meaningless!"...this kind of thinking. but i realized, why would i want him back because his life is in the crapper? if anything, he should want me back because he's happy, and his life is going well, but still misses me and has found that i'm irreplaceable.

    however, recently i've heard heard he might be interested in dating this awful girl, so i think the likelihood of the aforementioned is slim to NONE. ouch...your ex with another = the most heartbreaking thing ever.

  11. #9
    rnorth
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    408
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    4
    I am going to disagree to a point with the whole notion that someone has to say "I made a mistake, lets get back together". Often pride, weakness, fear can play a hand in someone not taking this step. On the other hand, I think there are 'signs' so to speak, however that does not mean that they will be followed by a reconcilliation.

    For a couple to start over again, I think it takes two people working to that point, not one person teaching the other a lesson and making them admit they were wrong. The best healthy way for two people to get back together is for them to talk about it and come to a joint decision to "start over". That means forgiveness and moving on from what separated you both to begin with. Remember, it takes two people to get to this point. No matter how well we all say we treated our exes, we were just as complicit in not reading the signs so enough, pushing them away, smothering, neglecting, etc... you get the picture. If someone wants you back, they may have their own concerns about whether you are willing to work on your own issues.

    Otherwise, material signs that someone wants to get back together can be measured by the frequency and type of contact the person who initially called things off makes. Another sign could be initiation of physical intimacy, agitation when around you, excessive gift-giving, calls at unusual hours, you name it.

    NC has its place, but it should not be a vehicle to teach your person of interest a lesson. It is to help you gain perspective in your own life and if necessary, to move on. People see it too often as a statement of "my way or the highway". That kind of stubborness can kill any chance of reconcilliation.
    Last edited by rnorth; 08-28-2006 at 11:54 PM.

  12. #10
    joyce1412
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    705
    Thanked
    1
    I am going to disagree to a point with the whole notion that someone has to say "I made a mistake, lets get back together". Often pride, weakness, fear can play a hand in someone not taking this step. On the other hand, I think there are 'signs' so to speak, however that does not mean that they will be followed by a reconcilliation.

    i see your point on this. however, i do think that a) these "signs" more often than not do NOT indicate wanting to get back together, only the weakness of the dumper, and b) a person who wants to get back together will say so if asked and/or soon after contact. it's my belief that a person who really wants to get back will say so, and not be wishy-washy about it. and i believe that the person will make up his mind pretty damn soon after re-initiating contact whether or not he wants to reinstate the relationship; if he really can't make up his mind, it's time to say bye-bye anyway.

    i guess i would just advise caution if one's ex has reappeared with nice words or invitations to hang out and doesn't take some real steps toward commitment soon after recontacting. i think people on here, like me, might see the signs and be tempted to take them as meaning something bigger without having this hope confirmed, and it later bites them in the butt. too many dumpers "check in" on their exes without a real intent to reconcile. thereforeeee, i think it's better to be safe than sorry.

  13.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
How can some people give up on relationships so easily?
I dated this girl from February to October of last year; yeah, not a [I]long[/I] time but it was very intense and even now I'm not at all over
Unsure of next step. Toughest time of my life.
Hi, I came to attempt and get some advice from different perspectives as I seem to have worked myself into a corner. As with all many of your
Should I Wish Her a Happy Birthday (My current situation, please read)
So here is the current situation. We broke up about 4 months ago and since then, she has been talking to a mutual friend of ours. He was my friend at
Did I cheat?
Im not sure what the rules are here. I broke up with my bf... We had been having some problems and I broke it off one evening. IN the moment I
How to get over the fact he's slept with someone else?
yo okay so theres too much context but i'll try to summarize. my boyfriend of two years broke up with me and immediately (two days) started dating
Ex gf Contacted me 30 Days After Break Up - How Do I Proceed?
Hi all, So I was in a two year relationship. Ex gf broke up with me about 4 weeks ago because I was reluctant to marry her and was still only
Please help... 2 men and only 1 me.
I have a huge issue and really need some advice from a 3rd party that is not family or friends . So here it is I was married to the same man for 17

Featured Threads
Parent and relationships problems
So clearly i need help sooo i will get right into the story.....sorry its so long I am a 25 year old male who is in a relationship with my 19
My boyfriend is trying to date other woman on online dating site.
I really need help. I am so confused. My boyfriend is on online dating site. He said he wants to date other women. We were on and off relationship
My wife left me without having even a talk
Hi everybody, I wonder if this is normal just to leave a marriage of 7 years without having a proper talk before moving on? It happened to me that
Confused about FWB
Last weekend my FWB and I made plans to meet up. He drove down from his place to go to a party with friends, afterwards he was coming to spend the
Everything is just JUMBLED
I have an extremely, EXTREMELY screwed up life. At least from my point of view it is. At least I think I'm the only one that knows my own
Getting over someone to be with them again later?
Long story short, my ex broke up with me after 4 years because he said he was immature and needed to grow up without me and part of that was meeting
Need Advice - it's urgent for me
Hello Everyone, I meesed up my life and I take full responsibilty. I ned advice and what to do to remedy the situation immediately and prevent it
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •