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Thread: What are some signs of your ex wanting to get back together

  1. #1
    shoebaby1
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    What are some signs of your ex wanting to get back together

    Your ex wanting to get back together with you???? or atleast wanting to work it out. I was just curious. Thanks

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    joyce1412
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    don't look at signs, realize that the only thing that means you might get back together is when your ex says, "i made a mistake and i want you back." anything less than that is not good enough.

    i thought i was seeing "signs" when my ex came back into my life a little while ago. but they weren't signs, he was just being weak, missing me, wanting to be friends. by reading those as good signs, i really screwed myself up and went backwards in my healing. i wish i had known then to look for concrete intentions and words.

    so, for the record, even if he wants to hang out every single day, tells you he misses you, whatever...it doesn't mean anything. if your ex wants you back, he'll let you know in words AND actions.

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    pacopaco
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    that's good advice. i feel the same way now. I feel like she's trying to reach out to me, or is she? she's got stuff on her myspace now that hints at things i've said and interests of mine. it's weird to see that stuff. her myspace, by the way also is saturated with things that seem things are not going well for her. I know i shouldn't be looking at that stuff, because it's true what people say about every little reminder. in real space or cyber, apparently

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    need2bme
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    Joyce: AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! My ex sends me mixed signals EVERY day and it is tiresome. Short of, I love you and we can make this work, is NOTHING!

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    annie24
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    I agree Joyce!!!!

    The ONLY sign is when they call you and say, "I made a mistake - let's get back together."

    Anything less than that is nothing.

  6. 08-28-2006, 05:39 PM

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    annie24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viper62382 [Register to see the link]
    Even for the stubborn girls? How about the whole concept that men are "supposed" to initiate relationship contact, or in this case, re-contact? Ofcourse after a good time of some NC.

    NO LOOPHOLES! We have talked about this.

    The only sign that your ex wants to get back together is IF THEY SAY THAT, IN THOSE WORDS!

  8. #7
    need2bme
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    Viper: I want the ex back, but I KNOW I want it back LIKE IT WAS!! It won't be. I don't know if she could forget what transpired before. I know I couldn't. I don't want to be with someone who does not love me.

  9. 08-28-2006, 06:46 PM

  10. #8
    joyce1412
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    The ONLY sign is when they call you and say, "I made a mistake - let's get back together."

    Anything less than that is nothing.


    and some might be thinking, "oh, that never happens, no one's that forward." but a person who wants to get back with you honestly does that.

    just last week my friend was approached by her ex of about three months. he had seen her a few days before at a party with her new BF. after that he kept calling her, texting her. but the point is, when he saw her in a club a few days later he said, verbatim, "i'm in love with you. i want you back."

    too little, too late? of course. he was a total jerk to her, and i highly doubt that he "loves" her, he's too caught up in his own selfish games. but the point is, when a person really wants something, he'll stick his neck out a little bit to get it. no doubt about it.

    she's got stuff on her myspace now that hints at things i've said and interests of mine. it's weird to see that stuff. her myspace, by the way also is saturated with things that seem things are not going well for her.

    hmm. well, if she wants to get back with you, it SOUNDS like she would be doing it because she feels unfulfilled and happy, which is not a good reason for getting back together.

    believe it or not, as late as a few weeks ago, i had been hearing about some things that seemed to indicate that my ex's life wasn't going that well either. and you know what's sad? i started to get my hopes up that he would want me back. "his life sucks without me, he'll realize that without me around it's meaningless!"...this kind of thinking. but i realized, why would i want him back because his life is in the crapper? if anything, he should want me back because he's happy, and his life is going well, but still misses me and has found that i'm irreplaceable.

    however, recently i've heard heard he might be interested in dating this awful girl, so i think the likelihood of the aforementioned is slim to NONE. ouch...your ex with another = the most heartbreaking thing ever.

  11. #9
    rnorth
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    I am going to disagree to a point with the whole notion that someone has to say "I made a mistake, lets get back together". Often pride, weakness, fear can play a hand in someone not taking this step. On the other hand, I think there are 'signs' so to speak, however that does not mean that they will be followed by a reconcilliation.

    For a couple to start over again, I think it takes two people working to that point, not one person teaching the other a lesson and making them admit they were wrong. The best healthy way for two people to get back together is for them to talk about it and come to a joint decision to "start over". That means forgiveness and moving on from what separated you both to begin with. Remember, it takes two people to get to this point. No matter how well we all say we treated our exes, we were just as complicit in not reading the signs so enough, pushing them away, smothering, neglecting, etc... you get the picture. If someone wants you back, they may have their own concerns about whether you are willing to work on your own issues.

    Otherwise, material signs that someone wants to get back together can be measured by the frequency and type of contact the person who initially called things off makes. Another sign could be initiation of physical intimacy, agitation when around you, excessive gift-giving, calls at unusual hours, you name it.

    NC has its place, but it should not be a vehicle to teach your person of interest a lesson. It is to help you gain perspective in your own life and if necessary, to move on. People see it too often as a statement of "my way or the highway". That kind of stubborness can kill any chance of reconcilliation.
    Last edited by rnorth; 08-28-2006 at 11:54 PM.

  12. #10
    joyce1412
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    I am going to disagree to a point with the whole notion that someone has to say "I made a mistake, lets get back together". Often pride, weakness, fear can play a hand in someone not taking this step. On the other hand, I think there are 'signs' so to speak, however that does not mean that they will be followed by a reconcilliation.

    i see your point on this. however, i do think that a) these "signs" more often than not do NOT indicate wanting to get back together, only the weakness of the dumper, and b) a person who wants to get back together will say so if asked and/or soon after contact. it's my belief that a person who really wants to get back will say so, and not be wishy-washy about it. and i believe that the person will make up his mind pretty damn soon after re-initiating contact whether or not he wants to reinstate the relationship; if he really can't make up his mind, it's time to say bye-bye anyway.

    i guess i would just advise caution if one's ex has reappeared with nice words or invitations to hang out and doesn't take some real steps toward commitment soon after recontacting. i think people on here, like me, might see the signs and be tempted to take them as meaning something bigger without having this hope confirmed, and it later bites them in the butt. too many dumpers "check in" on their exes without a real intent to reconcile. thereforeeee, i think it's better to be safe than sorry.

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