how soon is too soon?

hey all:

i'm a little confused about something and i'd like to consult you enotaloners before i confront my bf about it, so here goes:

i've been seeing this guy for about a month now and our "anniversary" i guess you could call it is coming up on the 28th of august - we will have been seeing each other for exactly one month.

now i'm the kind of girl who will celebrate any and every silly little milestone - the last day of school, the last day of summer vacation, moving day, and so forth - but i figured, hey, one month of seeing each other, that's pretty darned special. so i asked him if he wanted to "celebrate" with me on monday, and he said that it may be too early for that sort of thing, that, yes even though we have been seeing each other for a month, it's been a fast month, and that to "celebrate" a one month "anniversary" would be a little too soon for him.

now what i don't get is that he is willing to move as fast as sleeping with each other, and willing to say that i'm his girlfriend and to stay committed and monogamous with me and all, but cannot move as fast as "celebrating" a milestone like being together for one month with me.

i have no intention of forcing him to do what he doesn't want to do. nor do i wish to go any faster than how we're already moving - i only wish for clarity: what could possibly be the difference between moving fast enough to sleep with each other, say that we're bf/gf, and be committed and monogamous with each other; and moving slowly so as not to acknowledge our being together for one month? i really don't understand.

hope some of you can provide insight

thanks

-H-

For some people an 'anniversary' implies a long-term commitment and brings visions of engagement and marriage. He may be concerned that you are thinking too strongly along those lines for where he wants to be right now.

I think your over analyzing things. If celebrating is your thing, then do it. If he wants to join he'll join. We all have next to stupid reason for saying and doing what we do. Some girl I was dating would try to analyze everything I did or say. I don't think that deeply in what I say or do...so analyzing just isn't going to cut it. I don't think you can use sleeping with each other fast and celebrating fast as the same things.

DBL

I'm thinking along the same lines as DN. But like you -Hollywood- I celebrate everything.

Maybe just try and do something together on the 28th... you'll know you are celebrating, and maybe he won't be freaked out or feel pressured.

Congratulations on 1 month girl!!

As DN said...some men are squeamish about "anniversaries". Some men cringe at the thought of Valentine's Day. One month...while may seem important to you...it's unfair to expect him to see it in the same light. Truthfully one month is a mere speck in the scheme of things.

As an aside: The reality is MANY relationships do not even make it past the third month.You might want to wait till then before celebrating the

duration of the relationship.