Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: NDG's Thoughts and Feelings

  1. #1
    Member blackend heart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Somerset UK
    Age
    30
    Posts
    56
    Gender
    Male

    NDG's Thoughts and Feelings

    Well i have put this off enough its about time that i got everything off of my chest, perhaps i will feel a little better, we can never tell.

    Well as many of you have read __X and i are a couple, and i have taken it apon myself to help her through this rough time, i dont mind this at all, i mean afterall arent we supposed to do anything for love? Well __X hasnt been able to get on to the forums for the past few weeks because of certain events that happened while she was away at her aunts. But she gets the oppertunity to come on when she is over mine.

    So here we go, thoughts and feelings, well as it happens i have just gotten off of the phone to her, it seems that everything i do is wrong, __X is feeling very down at the moment, so down infact that she is thinking about taking her own life again, on following nottoogreen's advice i told her to write down her feelings, do some drawing and perhaps read a book, which she has done, but it seems that this has come to nothing, as she still feels the same. So i tried calling her, i gave her some constructive advice, telling her that she would do better when she re-did her GCSE results because this time she wanted it this helped for all of 5 minuites, then i started blaming myself and she hang up on me. So obbviosly she was pissed off at what i had said.

    Well thats what has happened today well actually that had all happened in the last 2 hours. I guess at the moment im just feeling lost, it seems that __X's problems are only escalating and im stuck here at ground level trying my hardest to find a soloution. I want to know how to help her and i guess the problem im facing is that im becomin so invlolved that i have lost sight of my minature problems so they arent getting sorted. I should really ask for help but instead i ask for help regarding __X.

    So here it is can anyone help?
    Will i be destined to put other people before myself?
    And why is it that whenever we have a good patch it all comes crashing down.

    If there is a God why is he such a spitefull bastard, why cant he leave __X alone what has she done to deserve this? Ha turning to God, i became athiest at the age of 10, i hated having religion forced upon me, ok so i was never baptised, but my parents did send me to a C of E school.

    Ok thats enough ramblings and rantings from me, comment if you like, just dont leave any bad ones. They arent helpful at all.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,449
    Gender
    Male
    Hi NDG,

    Good you get started on the journal.

    I told you many times that you are also toward yourself. Keep half your power for yourself. I know it's hard, but in the long-run your success depends on yourself.

    X's problems are not accelerating - she has no problems at aunts or has she?, her temper is accelerating. You know that. Her temper makes it hard on herself and on others.

    When you talk to her, please pass my warmest regards to her and may she please be so kind to remember to focus on her objectives like studying, getting a job and getting married with you. And may she please keep it cool with aunt and mom.

    Please keep us posted.

  3. #3
    Member blackend heart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Somerset UK
    Age
    30
    Posts
    56
    Gender
    Male
    Well i actually got to see __X today, but the morning didnt start well, we had an argument so that put a downer on the day (we argued before we met) i managed to get in to town, but __X had to walk from her house 45mins away, so i decided to try to meet her half way. when we finally saw each other it was great, we cuddled and apologised for the earlier events of the day.

    We finally got in to town and basically __X had to go straight away but her mum offered to take me and her to their house then drop me back later, so we got to the house and snuggled on the sofa and then after about 10 mins or so __X started to punch herself in the stomach, i couldnt believe it, right in front of me punching herself in the stomach, trying to hurt herself. Of course once i saw what she was doing i rather forcefully grabbed her hands and pinned them to the sofa so she couldnt do it anymore.

    Well her aunt came down too, and it was the job of __X and I to look after her 3yr old cousin, it wasnt too bad, i mean she was a terrror, the 3yr old not __X, when they had left __X went to the toilet then said her stomach hurt, she had been hitting herself again. I dont know why she does it, but i think it might be another form of SH because she promised me she wouldnt cut anymore.

    Well apart from the few bad things that happened seeing __X again was great and i really enjoyed it, its always nice to be with the one you love

  4. #4

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,449
    Gender
    Male
    Two weeks ago she used scissors, now fists. She gets better but remains volatile. It will take time. As ever, love, respect and care her. Encourage her.

    When she can get online, we should work on the ex. Fix a time together with her and PM me.

    When she is back in school, her mind will be more occupied.

    It is good that her mom seems better. Also develop a connection with her mom and help her mom understand more.

    Do not blame yourself ever. Your actions are amicable. I wish you strenght, peace and happiness.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member blackend heart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Somerset UK
    Age
    30
    Posts
    56
    Gender
    Male
    If __X is going back to being carefree and wild im going to loose her because i cant do all the things she wants to, i cant climb trees, i dont like parties i mean i know that in evry relationship is compromise but i dont see why she should she is young and needs a life, I have no life because im not very confudent in myself


    why cant i face my problems


    I bottle my emotions up most of the time and i cant stop because ive been doing it for too long, infact as long as i can remember.


    My dad became disabled before when i was about 3, and from that point on i had to grow up, i feel like i have lost my childhood and by the age of 8 i was a reclouse, only leaving my room for school and food, i was bullied in school and i never told anyone, i became an uncle at 5 i think, i never really had any friends, and i didnt enjoy spending time with my family. At 11 i was beaten up and left in the rain with a bloodied face and cracked ribs and from that point on i promised never to cry unless it was completely nessecery, and from that point on i bullied the bullies, my dad has never been able to play football with me or anything so i dont have any kind of connection with my parents.


    Last year my dad had a stroke and i didnt care, in the past he had beaten me and slaped me, wrecked my room, and my mum has done the same, now im bigger than them they dont bother, i have tried to run away 6 times, my most sucsessfull attempt i got 300 miles away to near where my brother live before he took me back home, im constantly bombarded with demands and the threat of being kicked out, they always make me feel guilty about wanting nice things, my view is i dont look good so if i have nice expensive things people will look at them instead of me. When i had a job i was typically spending about £200 a week on stuff and at 16 thats alot. Im constantly getting new technology.


    My parents are always putting me down, and calling me names, then every now and again they will do something nice and im supposed to forgive them for all the bad i have a nasty temper because of all my bottled up emotion so my room is a tip with holes in doors and thinfs like that which only cause arguments in the house, and as per usuall me retreating to my room.


    They tried to get me to go to anger management but wouldnt agree to do the family things my parents always blame me for anything that happens to my sister or someting thats to do with us both.
    Also one last thing my sister gets crappy grades in everything and she gets all the encoragement, i got really good grades and if htey forced me to go to school then i would have got better ones, it seems that whatever i do for them isnt good enough


    I have been told to talk to my GF but i would prefer if i didnt, she already has enough on her plate

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,558
    You should talk to me, I know it is hard. And wow, so much I didn't know

    I love you, and I'm here always for you!


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •