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Thread: On the Road Again

  1. #1
    Silver Member ~~Steven~~'s Avatar
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    On the Road Again

    Yes, I'm on the road to recovery again. This time I feel like I can really do it. With much help from others, I've found reason to my troubles. I was watching this show yesterday, about philosophers, and they were explaining the human thought process, and how we can manipulate things (subconsciously) to our liking. For example:

    I ask my dad if I can go out. He says no. Now I can't change the fact that he says no to me, however I can change his decision in the future. How? Doing what I am told, show him I'm trying to better myself, and above all, honor my word.

    In the bigger scope of things...

    I can't change the fact that I have an addictive personality, but I can change the way I use that addictiveness (exe: Reading, writing, playing guitar, ect).

    So basically I need to accept the fact that some things can't be changed from the core, but I can mold those cores into something more positive and suit them to my own benefit.

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    Silver Member ~~Steven~~'s Avatar
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    For some odd reason I've had the most relationship problems within the past few years. About 2 years ago exactly I was never one to be attractive, then all of the sudden I've had more problems choosing the right one. I thought it would be so much fun to be able to choose who you want to be with. The problem is, I find myself leading some on, but choosing another. I get really confused, when I am sexually attracted to one, ad emotionally attracted to another. I mean they are both attractive, but Rachel is far more mature, which is one thing I like most of all, but Suzanne is has a beautiful body. Now I initially chose Rachel because of the fact that she is more mature. Then I broke up with her because of my jealousy towards one of her guy friends.

    When I started dating Rachel, Suzanne was heartbroken, and she had cut herself, and was very hurt. When I broke up with Rachel she thought that meant I am going to be with her. Now I want Rachel back, but I don't want Suzanne to hurt herself. This has been on my mind ALL day, and I just don't know what to do. I stuck in a real pickle here, so if anyone has any advice at this point I'd appreciate it.

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    Hi Steven,

    I am proud of you for your post #1

    About post #2, Yeah, relationship problems compound.

    My advice in a sentence. Find a new gf with a suitable balance of mind and body and if you can encourage Suzanne to seek therapy.

    Why: All you can be is a loving healthy partner to your loving healthy partner. Suzanne obviously is not healthy. Imagine to be together with Suzanne and she cut's herself over an argument (my 1st wife did that). How you will feel? About Rachel, she is not all you want. and you broke up with her. Getting back together will not work out!

    Be patient and persistent and look after yourself, your dad and your happiness and success.

  4. #4
    Silver Member ~~Steven~~'s Avatar
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    Well I'd love to just shut both of them out of my life, but I'm afraid Suzanne lives three houses down from me, and well Rachel wouldn't be so hard. But yeah, Suzanne has just went to the psychiatrist for the second time about her problem, and they are putting her on meds.

    She is a great girl to hang around with ALONE. When she is with her friends, she is just immature. Ugh, I hate catch-22's.

    Anyways, today I pretty much had a self-search day. I contemplated all of my problems. I walked around my neighborhood I don't know how man times (one time around is about 2.5 miles) basically taking my sweet time to love life. I watched people going about their busy lives, watering lawns, children playing.

    Children playing. That really got me thinking. There is no way in hell I could have predicted, as a child, all of the hardships I went through. As a child you don't think of the future, you think of the moment. Running around, "You're it!"

    Anyways, whilst walking, I had a great awakening. Trying to figure out the root of ALL conflict. I found it! Selfishnes. That's it. The most basic form of conflict. I can't think of any dispute that didn't branch off of Selfishness. The reason people conflict with each other is because one, the other, or both aren't getting their way.

    How to solve it?

    Stop caring so much about how YOU want things. This coincides with the other statement, "Accept what I cannot change, yet have the courage to change the things I can."

    You can accept the fact that things aren't ALWAYS going to go your way. Deal with it, and have the courage to manipulate your surroundings (not really physical)

    Well that's my philisophical point of the day. I will continue self searching tomorrow, or another day, and keep you posted on my discoveries.

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    Well Sir,

    Now your are thinking.

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    that's very insightful of you. or as you said to me, analytical

    if there's one thing i found out about life is that it revolves around the moment and lives off the bigger picture, if u catch my drift.

    the moment is what matters, but it's there because of the bigger picture.

    my dad didn't want me on myspace and ended a part of my social life there. the bigger picture was that he was afraid of my insecurities as an adolescent.

    my thoughts on the source of all problems is that it is the bigger picture of selfishness. let me think about what makes people selfish and why they care for a while and i'll see what i can come up with....

    a few minutes into thinking and i'd like to say that selfishness arises not just from anger, but a lack of what feels necessary and the desire to acquire it in a way that is seen to only benefit the disiree and possibly negate the desires of another. i'll be back with something less general soon.

    just a thought.
    Last edited by ~KillTheSilence~; 08-25-2006 at 11:40 PM.

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    Platinum Member AnotherBrokenDoll's Avatar
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    Hey Steven,
    I have to agree with nottoogreen congrats on your first post. Its good that you have worked things out a bit. Also its good to hear you thinking again. Its funny how the small things (such as children playing) can make you think so much about life and the way you're living it...

    rozi!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
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    That's a well written post Steven. I agree that there are some decisions you can't really change for now, esp. but if you act with maturity then they may vary in the future.



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