Family members who talk excessively...

Has anyone had to deal with family members who won't be quiet and let someone else talk for a change? This is going to be long and I'm rambling. By the time you get to the end of it, you'll think I'm one of them...

I have four older sisters, three of whom talk excessively. They dominate every conversation and get-together. I feel like I have no life, nothing to offer to the conversation, no time to form a thought when they are around. They NEVER stop talking.... It's been like this growing up and we are now in our 40s and 50s.

I feel one of them is ADHD. She can't stay on topic. She bounces from one thing to another so fast that I get a headache after about 1/2 hour with her. She puts things down and doesn't remember even putting it down let alone where she put it (i.e. her lists of things to do that are supposed to help keep her organized). We spend much time talking about what she did with whatever the last thing is she can't find. She repeats stories all the time because she doesn't remember what she talked about with whom. She is constantly interrupted in the middle of a thought by her family and expects everyone to just hang on her every last word. What I find interesting is that everyone else seems to really enjoy listening to her go on and on and seems truly entertained by her. I am bored by it all.

The older I get, the less tolerant I am of their constant mindless talking. My usual tendency is to just nod and smile and agree with whatever they were going on about at the time. The last few years I have tried to slip in a few thoughts of my own when I can and now they don't like what I have to say. I've been so agreeable to listen all these years that they are taken aback by my very short, to-the-point comments that may come off as rude. I only act like this around them because it's the only way I can actually be a part of the conversation.

Most people I am friendly with have much longer attention spans and use the listen and then comment method of conversation rather than dominate the conversation. They don't interrupt my thoughts. I enjoy the give and take that normal conversation offers. These sisters of mine are so opinionated and repetetive with their talk that I just don't want to waste my time anymore. I think they are rude for not giving others a chance to talk and offer insight. It's ALL about them!

Now they say they feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me. I say TOUGH !##!. I've had to put up with their chatter all my life and their constant need to be the center of attention. Now they don't like my opinions. They say everything for me is black or white, that I get angry with them when our opinions differ. Maybe so. I don't know. Right now I kind of want to piss them off. I'm the most independent of the bunch, but when I'm around them, their behavior makes me feel like I'm 10 years old again, just doing whatever they want to do and go with the flow and keep quiet and all is well.

So I don't know how these postings work. I don't know that I'm looking for suggestions on how to handle my ADHD sister who dominates every situation and the two chatty Kathys or if I'm thinking more that it feels good just to get it off my chest. I am seriously considering distancing myself from the family stuff but for my 82 year old parents. I have to attend the big family get-togethers and then just keep my distance the rest of the time. They literally send me back into childhood whenever I spend any length of time with them. It's depressing to be around them anymore.

If you made it through all this BLABLABLA, THANK YOU for listening. I know it's long. If you have any thoughts, comments, suggestions, real life experience of your own you'd like to share, I would be thrilled to read them. This is my first posting ever anywhere, so hopefully I will be able to find my way around this site enough to view your response.

Again, thanks for reading.

#5sis

It's tough because at your ages, it is unlikely that anyone will change. Especially change in how you relate to each other.

If I could I send them all to Dale Carnegie courses or make them read his how to win friends book.

I learned something from my husband (seems I used to interrupt quite a bit, coming from a family who you had to fight to get a word in edge-wise it's no wonder)

whenever they inturrupt you listen, and then go back to talking exactly where you left off, even if you were in mid sentence, even if the topic has changed a few times.

it took a few weeks, but I quit inturrupting my husband, and it only took a month with the most talkative person in my life before they quit interrupting me.

That's good advice. I have terrible short-term memory, so I usually forget what my train of thought was. I will work on that though.

That's good advice. I have terrible short-term memory, so I usually forget what my train of thought was. I will work on that though.

I bet it would work even better if you had a small notebook and wrote down what you were talking about LOL although I am not in a very nice mood today, I could see that conversation

"well, yesterday I went to the grocery store and I saw..."

"I went to the grocery store today, and bought apples and potatoes, and hey! what are you writing?"

"I am writing down what I was talking about so when you are dont inturrupting I can finish"

haha, that might not go over well, but it could be fun.

This may not work on a group but

I did do this with a mate who talk the back legs of a house, I taped him talking and then played it back to him.

The look on his face it was worth it as he could hear himself just butting in all the time.

The notebook would not go over well at all. They would all think I was being a smart a!@. Maybe I could jot it down on a napkin or the nearest thing. Now that would be good! And oh so spontaneous!