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Thread: KillTS's life in a nutshell

  1. #31
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    a day in the life and mind of me

    holy crap, my life is twisted. i wake up at 5:30 to go to school and i'm all like 'it is way to friggin early for Mr. Neil to talk about the no-gum policy for 30 minutes.' i have better things to do. namely sleep, wake up, and feel awake.

    of course, by the time we get outside and do our little marching thing i'm half-way awake (just in time for me not being able to remember anything i have done for the last 7 days). as school does its thing, i'll do mine and eventually i'm riding home with some retard i'm supposed to call brother...dude i swear if he'll keep his friggin mouth shut for 5 minutes i WILL feel euphoric. honestly, i've no clue how he can talk about football, switch to golf, argue with Dad over something, and then think of something that seems SO friggin important that NO ONE is allowed time to say anything.

    luckily, it's only when my family and i go to a restaurant or ride in the car that i have to be around my brother, and for the latter i can listen to music, so there go away half my problems. honsetly, though. i can't stand his lack of care for other people! i've turned into a partially-shy introvert cause i was always thinking about things when i didn't have the chance to talk. now i have a hard time talking about something for a while cause i'm always listening to HIS stupid problems and HIS stupid arguments with the parents. oh, and did i mention the part about the arguing?

    holy shiz, i didn't. can't believe it. but i guess i do believe that the two loud voices i hear in the kitchen downstairs that seem to be in some disagreement toward each other ARE FRIGGIN INSANE!!! how in the hell is someone supposed to argue over what not to do and since WHEN does a 16 y/o have authority over his dad??? NEVER!! but that doesn't stop anything. never has, doubt it ever will ( can't wait till he turns 18 ). and why can i hear them over my music? o yeah, i forgot again: SONGS DONT LAST THAT LONG!!!

    all that crap on my back makes me feel like my life is out of wack. last time i heard silence between those two was when i was away from them and they were away from each other.



    aren't i just the poorest thing in the world?

    hahahahahah. DAMN RITE!!!

    nah just kiddin, people have it worse. just not the same kind of worse. my worse is like the tard who never changed instead of the life that never made sense.

    school is pretty awesome though. i don't see how hangin around my brother is nearly as fun as hanging out with my friends, so thumbs up 4 school, thumbs down for my English teacher. there's no way that i am going to become an ignorant slob by missing the predicate nominative in my sentence. yet again, there's no way i'd be as alive as i am now if it weren't for my friends being there to complain about it with me.

    it's almost 2:30 (AM), so i'm spent.

    peace out
    Last edited by ~KillTheSilence~; 09-16-2006 at 03:51 AM.

  2. #32
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    holy S i'm so friggin AWESOME!!! i had no clue i could do all i did tonight. big-a** boost of self-confidence (on the side, i just noticed that after an hour or two of celebration).

    i owe it ALL to homecoming. Jesus Christ, i can't believe myself!! HELL YIZZLE!!! nice little dance, started off soon, ended a long time from then. a friend of mine didn't get his chance at it (he's depressed about it. it happens to everyone who goes to long without getting a chance), but DUDE talk about "i never thought that would happen until hell froze over!"

    then my friends saw me and i was all like "nice dance, eh?" they shot looks at me like they knew what was happenin and i was looking back like "hell yea, this is friggin sweet"

    apparently band is finally paying off. with her in the color guard and she liked me the first time we met (i was in 6th grade, i think) and although i didn't really like her all that much, we became friends and whatnot and MAN did that pay OFF!!!

    i owe half of it to what i wear. there's no way in hell i could've looked halfway decent after wearing that stupid marching band hat thing (yeah with that stupid feather too), but it pays to think ahead and bring a good cap of your own

    can't wait to wake up tomorrow and be like "holy shiz, i can't believe i just flippin did that" and take a shower and while taking it be like "I JUST FLIPPIN DID THAT!!!"

    i had to get this outta my system so i could actually sleep tonight

    otherwise, i'd have to stay awake till 6:00 AM being wired on what just happened. or maybe a shower will do...either way, it's nice to get the word out. i feel like life has a purpose again (haven't felt that way since my spiritual encounter (it was huge in a different sense) with God).

    a word of advice: patience is a miracle worker

  3. #33
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    a word of advice: impatence can kiss my a**

    i'm sick of waiting for something so awesome to happen that i FINALLy have something to say to someone...it's like i'm flippin there to say somethin, but what the hell? i did nothing over my week, how bout you? it sucked as usual, anything new? i have a gf now, woo * * * *ing hoo. i love her to death, but who gives a crap. i made out with her for the entire 45 minute ride back home and holy hell, my life sucks like crazy cause it's just twisted like that.

    school is really the only place ill ever be accepted for who i am and what i want to be cause i have friends and, whatdoyaknow, we do sh** together. it's like a normal flippin life where everything is halfway average and all the rest is in the hands of someone other than me...

    and what the hell is it with this feeling inside like i'm doing nothing in life? i shouldn't expect too much (nottoogreen), but i expect for me to have a life by now. all i really do is fall down under my parents control and go with the stupid flow of wait and see, trial and (only) error...

    holy S, i can talk more about how boring my life is than how awesome it is to be the only one in my high school class to be 2 grade levels ahead in this one subject and how sweet it is to see faces i know and trust to gawk at me like i'm a flippin God or something.

    and why in the HELL is that possible?

  4. #34
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    * * *!!! Fall break and i'm goin on a flippin vacation with a lousy * * * brother? and why in the hell should i care about spending time with my family? 14 and a half years of being with them and i give a crap?

    normally i would, but i have a LIFE. L-I-F-E LIFE, and for some odd reason i would MUCH rather go to my friend's GOING AWAY party because soon, she will be GOING AWAY. and what about my girlfriend? she is doing NOTHING this FIVE DAY WEEKENDand i will be (unhappily] wasting my life away at a place that i went to for HALF of my flippin SUMMER; WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THIS SAME-OLD PLACE??? and why in the HELL would i want to be with my brother (or anywhere near him) when i am missing my friend's GOING AWAY party, my other friend's Halo party, and a girlfriend who is doing NOTHING (nothing, dammit!!!) the ENTIRE WEEKEND??? i love my family very much (sometimes), but lately, they've really been pissing me OFF!!!

    and so what do i do? i complain. completely mother-f*cking natural for a person to * * * * * about not doing something that's a billion times better than going to a place where i will do what? sit on my * * *? wow. good times. sitting on my mother-f*cking * * *!!!

    but yes, i complain. and what the hell do i get? according to my parents, a 4.0 GPA at school must mean that i am a selfish, lazy, irresponsible, inconsiderate, i-dont-give-a-crap-about-people, 14 and a half year old teenager? since when did that make any sense? NEVER.

    so i have problems with my brother. DAMN RIGHT I DO!! how can i live with somebody who i label as my family labels me? huh? what's that? i'm supposed to be the "big boy" now cause he's 17 years old now and i don't even have a driver's permit? what am i supposed to do about some messed-up brother who is so irresponsible that he screws his life by not being what you tell him to be DAY AFTER DAY? so did u forget about him destroying his tires, stealing money from you to go out to eat with his friends during lunch, hiding his lunch box in MY room (causing a nasty smell because it was there for a good 3 months or so), getting fat off of oreos, not doing his homework, borderline failing his classes, and RUINING MY life?

    oh wait, i forgot. i am the problem. it all points to me. especially the way i act. trying to stay calm when my parents argue with my brother every day, man * * * was i thinking? just because i feel depressed when my family fights every day doesn't mean i should do something about it every now and then. i mean, it's not like it affects my social life when all i do is think about how bad my life at home is, right? and since when did i care about my friends? they only are the one reason i don't feel like crap every day. i shouldn't care about them at all. no reason to do so.

    i might feel bad that i'm missing my friend's going away party, but i'll get over it. i guess she will too. and my girlfriend. she can find something else to do at home. being bored. with every oppurtunity to have some fun going to the movies or something like that. but no worries, i can handle it. i'm a "big boy" now. i'll just go on vacation, be bored off my * * *, and try to look relaxed while my friends are having a blast and my girlfriend is just going to be as bored as i am. i might call her, but i won't have anything to say. 'how was your day?' --- 'wow that's great. i have nothing to say now. goodbye.' smooth. just as smooth as practically ditching my friends because my life sucks too much for me to be who i am.

    but that's life. i don't expect people to understand me. i understand me, but no one in my family really seems to notice me. i'm just here. waking up to eat some more cereal and go to school so i can be someone when i grow up someday. i don't have feelings for anyone or anything, and i'm always going to be like that, so JUST BLAME JAY DAMMIT, HE'S THE PROBLEM. IT'S HIM. HE IS NO GOOD AT ANYTHING, SO JUST BLAME HIM INSTEAD OF HIS BROTHER WHO HAS MADE HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL EVER SINCE HE CAN REMEMBER, SO JUST F*CKING BLAME IT ON JAY

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