Misery Loves Company

I've done a little self examination lately, and the results surprise me. I've had some very rough days lately. Each one gets a little worse. I thought I hit rock bottom yesterday, but Murphy's Law kicked in. Today, after the last few months of problems, I lost my job, possibly my car, and maybe the one thing that I've been working on for over 3 years that means the most to me. It all happened in 15 minutes, like it's planned out for me to fail.

Anyway, the thing I noticed is that I kind of like all this. I like the attention. And I like people to feel sorry for me. Whenever I get hurt doing something, I always play it up. Sometimes at work, my nose would start to bleed. It does that from the elevation sometimes. Instead of stopping it, I would let it bleed, and then make up some story about how I got hurt. Or like when I got in a motorcycle accident, I would walk around on my foot, even though it was hurt. I don't hurt myself on purpose or anything, but I like the attention. Why?

You might want to seriously consider counseling, I could understand about the challenges everyone must face in life, however, one must not give up completely till the point of considering yourself hopeless and helpless.

Losses result in broken expectations which hurts. Let's call it microdepression. Tell us more in detail what lead up to the job loss and what you worked on for 3 years.

About being attention seeking I was that in younger years too as well as easy-attach. In my case complex abusive family situation resulting in lack of care, respect, love and positive environment.

If you listen to yourself, you know what hurt you and if you like talk about it here.

You may read it here before, anyway it may help you. What is depression? Depression is a mental pain caused by an imbalance between expectations and ability. To make the pain go away, one has to improve ones ability (do better) and/or change ones expectations. In other words, to avoid depression, one ought to balance ability and expectations. Balance is it, as so often in life. More in: Wicked