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Thread: what really makes a person settle down?

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    Member butterflies's Avatar
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    what really makes a person settle down?

    I have met many men or from friends who said, I'm ready to settle down, wants a committed relationship, blah blah. and when they get in a relationship, everything seems right and one day, they'll end up breaking with just a (small) problem. or maybe they'll end up giving reasons like i need to work more, it's not yet the right time to marry ...etc to runaway. later on, you'll see them ended the relationship.

    why do men do this? what really make a man setttle down?

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    Member Goodfun88's Avatar
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    When they meet the right woman. When they say those things, that is truly what they want, but perhaps as the relationship progresses, they find that the person they are with is the right person to be with forever or settle down with.

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    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    Usually a man will want to settle down when he feels that he is financially stable. This is going to be different for every man since each has a different idea of what financially stable means. For some it may mean the job they want to have. For some it just may mean a job period that they like.

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    What the dumpee may perceive as a small problem may actually just be the reason the dumper gives for a series of problems or things they don't like about the relationship. People don't always tell the whole truth when they break up with someone. I think a person will rarely leave someone over what they perceive to be a small problem.

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    Challenges come with change. Wishes that come true aren't supposed to take work once they do. That's the let down.

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    Gold Member Meow18's Avatar
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    It's obviously different for every person.

    But in my boyfriend's case, he wants to wait until he can find a job (he just graduated college) and be confident that we can move in together and afford it.

    But also, the right woman of course. And sometimes school is a reason.

    I think that usually when people break up, it's for a bigger reason than just some small issue. If a guy and a girl seem perfect together, and then the guy breaks up just because he doesn't want to settle down.. I would think it would have more to do with him doubting that he's with the right person than anything else.

    Sometimes there's even people out there who never want to settle down.

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    If they say they are ready to settle down, but then give those kinds of excuses and break up, I would guess that they don't think they are with the right person yet. Just because you want to settle down doesn't mean you have found the right person to settle down with yet.

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    Platinum Member tylercdurden2004's Avatar
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    Stupidity and sometimes finding the right one.

    I often wonder about people who say "I am ready to settle down now" when there isnt even anyone in the picture. Its kind of like I gonna find the next one and make me a wife.

    I dont ever think that a relationship, especially settling down is something one can force or turn on or off at will. How can you go through 10, 20 years with your eyes closed then open them one day and expect to see clearly.

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    Silver Member MacGyverRI's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by butterflies
    I have met many men or from friends who said, I'm ready to settle down, wants a committed relationship, blah blah. and when they get in a relationship, everything seems right and one day, they'll end up breaking with just a (small) problem. or maybe they'll end up giving reasons like i need to work more, it's not yet the right time to marry ...etc to runaway. later on, you'll see them ended the relationship.

    why do men do this? what really make a man setttle down?
    Women actually seem to do that more than men.

    little problems are serious when the person doing/causing them wont try to adjust them for the better side to suit the relationship.


    Finances, or lack of, can be a big downfall in any relationship

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    Originally Posted by tylercdurden2004
    Stupidity and sometimes finding the right one.

    I often wonder about people who say "I am ready to settle down now" when there isnt even anyone in the picture. Its kind of like I gonna find the next one and make me a wife.

    I dont ever think that a relationship, especially settling down is something one can force or turn on or off at will. How can you go through 10, 20 years with your eyes closed then open them one day and expect to see clearly.
    I so agree with you there. I think about a good half of the time you hear someone say "I am so ready to settle down and have a family, etc" ends up feeding that line to their new sig other. Then further down the road in their first ultra-committed-I-am-going-to-stick-with-this-one relationship, they realize that in fact they weren't ready for it, and that is why they hadn't committed before.

    Sometimes, I think everyone gets to the point to where they think they want committment, but it's like buying new pants; They looked good on the rack, but until you tried them on, you had no idea they wouldn't fit you.

    Dating and loving are learning experiences.. You will find the right one when you have learned enough to recognize those same qualities in your mate.

    (or I could be full of crap, I am divorced, after all) :splat:

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