am I too late or trying to move too fast?

I sort of feel as if I'm deluding myself on this one, but I figured I'd grab some opinions before I get ahead of myself. There's this girl I like, and have known for a little over a month. In the beginning things were pretty off and on, there were moments where the chemistry was dead on, and then some moments where she just wasn't feeling it. There were a few nights that ended with us kissing and falling asleep together, but it didn't go further then that. I asked about how she felt about being more than just friends. She'd said something about trying to tell herself that she liked me too much, and although she does think I'm a cool guy, she's just not comfortable being more than friends right now.

Normally that's my hint that she doesn't want to take it further, but her friends were telling me that she's just like that. That she has to know the person really well before she gets into a relationship. I really like this girl, (as well as you can really like somebody after knowing them for just a month) and I'd hate to just give up on trying here. Lately I've been playing things cool and have just been talking/getting to know her better...but I'm worried about getting stuck in that friends category. Not that I'd mind being just friends, but I'd rather know if I have a chance now so I can either make the effort to make it something more, or move on and just be friends. So the questions here are...Do you think there's a chance? Should I talk to her about my intentions (I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable situation...but on the flipside I don't want to sit in an uncomfortable situation instead)...or should I just continue to enjoy her company, and if it happens it happens, and if not well I've just made a good friend? Thanks for the input in advance.

It depends..

Some people will probably reply saying that if she REALLY liked you, she would have already said she wanted to be more than friends.

However, I have been in similar situations before. If I've only known a guy for a month, I would be hesitant to enter into a serious relationship with him, no matter how much I liked him. Also, I had that experience with a friend before (where we fell asleep together, kissed, etc) and he did not straight out ask me if I wanted to be in a relationship. That was the only way I would have agreed to be in a relationship with him.

So... I think you do have a chance, because you've only known her for a month, and apparently you haven't made your intentions clear. (Like.. you haven't straight out asked her out, and been rejected, right?)

No I haven't straight out asked her out yet. I knew she wasn't sure what she wanted yet, and the last thing I wanted to do was make her figure it out too soon. Although I sort of wonder if she's waiting on that?

No I haven't straight out asked her out yet. I knew she wasn't sure what she wanted yet, and the last thing I wanted to do was make her figure it out too soon. Although I sort of wonder if she's waiting on that?

Well.. you know how I said something similar happened to me, where this guy kissed me, and we fell asleep, etc? Yeah, it was actually way more awkward that that. Like, first he kissed me, and I was so surprised that I pulled away, and then after that I didn't have the guts to kiss him again. Plus I had expected that he would have asked me out BEFORE he tried to kiss me, which threw me off. So he ended up thinking that I had rejected him (when I actually did like him), and basically gave up on me. And I gave up on him, because he didn't make the move to ask me out.

I think.. since her friends have told you that she likes to get know guys better first, that you definitely have a chance with her.

One of my friends is actually like this.. she doesn't jump into relationship quickly. Last year, this guy really liked her, and she liked him but wasn't sure if she wanted to be in a relationship yet. So what they did was they had a 'mock date', where they just rented a movie and watched it together, to see how it went. It wasn't a 'just friends' thing, but it also wasn't an official date, so she was comfortable with that. Now they've been going out for.. I think 7 months now.

You could maybe try that with this girl.. you could tell her you're interested in being more than friends with her, and if she's not ready yet, you're fine with that. And maybe have a 'mock date' thing (you don't have to call it that) with her.. like, ask if she wants to hang out sometime and see how it goes.

I think that's a really good idea. I've just been going in circles as to whether or not it would be good to say something, and if so, what I'd want to say. I like that though, it proposes something beyond friends, but not necessarily as serious as a date. Thanks for the idea, I may not actually see her for a couple more days, but I'll let you know what I decided to do and how it goes

Awesome, good luck!!

)eremy yeah this is a tough thing to know. I'm kinda facing similar although I've known the girl for probably a month and a half we've only really been talking everyday and seeing each other a bit for less than two weeks.

She has had problems in the past with guys trying to take advantage of her, then guys being weird with her, ignoring her, not showing affection enough. So shes really afraid to get close to someone. I know she likes me because she was the one that asked me at first to do something and for my number. Everytime I've seen her one on one shes dressed very nicely and done her hair and all so its all good signs.

I have alot more experience than her being older so i'm someone that if I like someone I like to move. Her myspace says shes in a relationship, we have never discussed that and even though I'm kind of tempted to I dont think its right, I think she has to bring it up or after awhile I will bring it up.

Right now we keep the discussion light and fun, flirting, just talking about anything (it helps we work together). I think with your situation its sort of similar, the girl is someone who doesnt like to get too close to someone quickly. Just take it slow even if its hard for you, you dont want to blow it if you like her that much.

I would just take her on "dates" you know just her and you go to get ice cream, go bowling, go to a movie, things like that. Go to places that you can have fun and show your personality, places where she can have a great time with you and grow closer. It may take longer than you want for anything to develop here, but do not pressure her anymore about it, if she wants it she will come to you, if its still not being brought up after a month or two then you bring it up with her.

Good luck.

I asked about how she felt about being more than just friends.

In my experience this has been a mood killer. If the girl was kissing you and having a good time with you, just go with the flow and direct the relationship in the direction you want to take it. Don't start "talking" about it. That's boring. It seemed by her actions she was digging you by doing what she was doing, but the moment you pulled the "Let's talk about us" routine she threw out all of the stoppers and "Let's be friends" card.

She'd said something about trying to tell herself that she liked me too much, and although she does think I'm a cool guy, she's just not comfortable being more than friends right now.

You got too serious on her. Here she was having a good time with you and clearly didn't want to "define" where you guys stood, but then you took the relationship in that direction. You tried to define what you were when she was making out with you and having fun. Next time (unless you are putting an ultimatum out there) do not start "talking" about the two of you.

Normally that's my hint that she doesn't want to take it further, but her friends were telling me that she's just like that. That she has to know the person really well before she gets into a relationship.

Ignore her friends. They are wrong. If some super stud jock hit on her, she'd be all over that right away and you all know it.

Lately I've been playing things cool and have just been talking/getting to know her better...but I'm worried about getting stuck in that friends category.

Sounds like you are already well on your way to the friendzone.

Should I talk to her about my intentions (I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable situation...but on the flipside I don't want to sit in an uncomfortable situation instead)...or should I just continue to enjoy her company, and if it happens it happens, and if not well I've just made a good friend? Thanks for the input in advance.

No you shouldn't talk to her about your intentions. The last time you did this you killed the mood for her and she wasn't having any of it. She friendzoned you when you did this.

I personally believe that you should move on, but if you do intend on pursuing this then flirt with her hard core and tease her. Make it fun again. When you are in a situation where it looks right, then don't hesitate, make a move. Kiss her. Something.

Keep yourself open to other women and do not focus on just her. It's not looking promising so you owe yourself to find someone who is as interested to get with you as you are them, not to play this silly game.

Sounds pretty sound diggity. Well I decided not to stress myself on this one. I'm just going to ride things out, flirt, have fun, and see what happens. We already have plans to go surfing (at least attempt to, neither one of us has done it before) So there's really no need to push things or get ahead of myself. I'm not really giving up on tryin, Im just going to focus more on having fun instead of the outcome of it all. Thanks again for all of the advice and opinions. Oh and yes, I will be keeping my options open