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Thread: I miss my mistress :(

  1. #1
    Potoman
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    I miss my mistress :(

    It's been 2 months since we broke up and I was happy to be without her for the first month or so. She was pressuring me alot and it was getting a little stressful toi keep arranging for times to meet ..

    But without her I'm facing the inescapable emptiness that comes from staying in a marriage for the sake of the kids.

  2. #2
    BetterKarma
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    Then do your wife and kids a favor and get a divorce.

    Your wife deserves a faithful and loving husband and your kids deserve a father who is commited to the family.

    You shouldn't force yourself to stay in a marriage "just for the sake of the kids." It's not fair to your wife or children.

    If you really do want your marriage to work then you need to go to marriage counselling with your wife to see how you can make your marriage work. Otherwise, your wife and children are destined for more hurt in the future.
    Last edited by BetterKarma; 07-12-2006 at 04:26 PM.

  3. #3
    Blured
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    Are you sure that you just dont miss the excitement of having a mistress? You didn't mention why you missed her, just that your feeling empty. Please try to work on the marriage, but if you really don't think there is any hope, get a divorce. But be aware that the mistress might be appealing because of the fantasy.

  4. #4
    RayKay
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    You know staying for the sake of the kids usually does the opposite of what you intend.

    Children are very perceptive, and know when something is amiss. No matter how hard you try to fake it. They also learn from what they see what is normal and expected when they grow up. I know a couple people whom have a true fear of marriage now because while their parents stayed married, they were miserable, and they truly believe that is what marriage "is". Sad, really. It is also very unfair to your wife, whom deserves a committed, loving partner as well.

    If you truly want to save this marriage, I urge you to put effort into that through counselling, rather than spending time thinking of your ex-mistress. Otherwise, you will remain miserable and feeling this way. What you may be missing right now is the fantasy and the escape, rather than the mistress herself. And that sets you up for future affairs, so work on the marriage properly, or leave and then you are free to see your ex-mistress or another woman without guilt or without cheating.

  5. #5
    Day_Walker
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    I assume that there is a more than a reason why you are staying in your marriage rather than for the kids. Do you really think its doing your kids any good to see their parents in a loveless marriage?

  6. #6
    Potoman
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blured
    Are you sure that you just dont miss the excitement of having a mistress? You didn't mention why you missed her, just that your feeling empty. Please try to work on the marriage, but if you really don't think there is any hope, get a divorce. But be aware that the mistress might be appealing because of the fantasy.
    I'm well aware of the fantasy part. I'm pretty sure that if I moved in with her, the whole relationship would have a good chance of going to sh*t in time.

    I miss having someone who loves to be with me. Someone who gives me a nice long backrub without me asking just because she knows I like it. Someone who cancels our dinner as we're about to walk out the door because she' d rather spend the night in bed with me. Someone who calls me just to tell me she can't stop thinking about me. Someone who is estatic when I bring her flowers, or a small gift. Someone who reponds to a hug and a kiss with a smile.

    Compare that to the sour-faced, nagging wife ..

  7. #7
    Potoman
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    Quote Originally Posted by Day_Walker
    I assume that there is a more than a reason why you are staying in your marriage rather than for the kids. Do you really think its doing your kids any good to see their parents in a loveless marriage?
    No - the kids is the only reason. If it were not for that - I'd have left long, long ago.

  8. #8
    Potoman
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    Quote Originally Posted by BetterKarma
    Then do your wife and kids a favor and get a divorce.

    Your wife deserves a faithful and loving husband and your kids deserve a father who is commited to the family.

    You should force yourself to stay in a marriage "just for the sake of the kids." It's not fair to your wife or children.

    If you really do want your marriage to work then you need to go to marriage counselling with your wife to see how you can make your marriage work. Otherwise, your wife and children are destined for more hurt in the future.
    That's just polyanna crap. My wife "deserves" nothing. There's nothing to work out. She's a verbally abusive, self centered person. I've tried everything to work it out and now I'm done. I have no interest in working it out with her.

    My kids, on the other hand, do deserve a good life. I want to be with them every day since we're very close. As bad as the marriage may be, I'm in no hurry to subject them to the insecurity and stigma of divorce.

  9. #9
    kellbell
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    Never, never, never stay in an unhappy or loveless marriage for the kids. My mom did the same thing. She and my father have been married for 35 years and their divorce will be finalized this summer. At the beginning of all this, my mom said, "I stayed for you kids..." Let me tell you, I felt like a piece a crap after that. Not good at all. It is not an admirable gesture at all and your children will not be grateful, believe me. I am in therapy for this, not the whole reason, but a good portion. Kids will adjust, the parents need to be happy. You are doing your wife and your children by engaging in affair (which my mom did as well, extremely hurtful and I am devistated) and huge disservice to everyone by staying.

    "That's just polyanna crap. My wife "deserves" nothing. There's nothing to work out. She's a verbally abusive, self centered person. I've tried everything to work it out and now I'm done. I have no interest in working it out with her."

    Get a divorce. There is no excuse for cheating. None whatsoever. I really feel bad for your kids. They always are the ones whom get the short end of the stick because the parents do not want to take responsibilty for their actions.
    Last edited by kellbell; 07-12-2006 at 04:12 PM.

  10. #10
    Lady Bugg
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    Hmmmmm have you ever considered that your "sour faced nagging wife"
    may be tired of YOUR sh** too?

    Are you romantic with your WIFE?
    Do you hug and kiss your WIFE?
    Do you send your WIFE flowers and cards??

    My guess is NO...hmm gee wonder why she is
    "sour faced".

    Mistresses get to see the "good side' of the married man. The side with NO kids, no housework, no bills, no expectations, NO STRESS. Welcome to the world of marriage Poto. I hate to be the one to break it to you...but
    marriage is NOT a fantasy...what you had with your Mistress IS....and chances are ..in time, your mistress will have that SAMe sour face as your wife.

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