Help please

This post if for a friend that needed help and I could give it.

 

He has this problem that no matter what he does he can't finish anything. He starts something out but then just quits no matter how much he wants to do something he just has trouble seeing this through. I'm just wondering how I can help him or what advice to give anything you post I will pass it on to him. Thanks in advance.

Does he feel overwhelmed whenever he does a project? Sometimes someone can feel stressed out, because the project can seen daunting. I suggest work on steps. When he completes a small portion at a time, he will finish it I am sure. What about listening to music? Would that help him concentrate whenever he starts a project? It's important that when he starts his projects, not to worry about neccesarily finishing them, but just working on them, until they just happen to be done.

Moon Goddess,

 

Many reasons are possible. Some specualtive answers.

 

He just could be dumb, just not interested in anything.

 

He could be very smart and get bored fast.

 

He could have a self defeatist attitude due to other past problems.

 

You ought to find out about his feelings and attitudes and past.

 

Couldn't you send him to sign up here, we could try to help him?

ah yes... I think I remember! if this friend you speak of is a member of enotalone....

 

In that case, I think it was linked to him dropping out of school early, thereforeeee, he never learned the "work ethic" needed to finish projects.

 

encourage him to go back to school. people don't want to hire people without high school educations. he needs to have a job one day in the future.

ah yes... I think I remember! if this friend you speak of is a member of enotalone....

 

In that case, I think it was linked to him dropping out of school early, thereforeeee, he never learned the "work ethic" needed to finish projects.

 

encourage him to go back to school. people don't want to hire people without high school educations. he needs to have a job one day in the future.

Nice guess. Cuz your right, it is me. I was too mad?? to post it myself.

 

I never did learn that work ethic. I've been offered by a good friend, perhaps one of the only ones that i actually trust to go back. Thing is that i might not be able to start till next year when shes not even there anymore. i'd just hate how much people would come onto me for coming back. It litterly scares me.

 

He just could be dumb, just not interested in anything.

Thanks for the comment <_ but it ok. interested well i just dont know what want to do..... try so many things nothing works.>

 

Does he feel overwhelmed whenever he does a project?

At the start I feel great. Then i'd run into a few problems and well i guess giving up is easier. Sucks bigtime.

 

It's important that when he starts his projects, not to worry about neccesarily finishing them, but just working on them, until they just happen to be done.

Thats an interesting idea...

 

I always thought that i just needed some reconition and support... I dont get anything no matter what i do

 

edit: I never used to have this problem till roughly when I also got depressed....

Thanks for the comment <_ but it ok. interested well i just dont know what want to do..... try so many things nothing works.>

 

At the start I feel great. Then i'd run into a few problems and well i guess giving up is easier. Sucks bigtime.

Hi Dregnought,

 

Nice talking to you.

 

Trying is not enough.

 

Giving up is a waste of time and effort.

 

To finish is what counts.

 

If you think about it, you are stuck in a circle which breaks you, because you remember you failed, you fail again. Important is to get out of that vicious circle.

 

The way to do that is to pick a very small project of a few hours work and finish it. You start a project, you make a note in a book. Once you are done, you mark the project complete in your book and you stick a red-colored note about the project on the wall in your bedroom. You pick and finish another very small project and so on. You make your projects slowly bigger. Important is you finish projects.

 

You can see more and more colored notes on your wall and be proud you did all that. Also, please post all your notes here. We will monitor you and offer encouragement and support.

 

How does that sound?

You can see more and more colored notes on your wall and be proud you did all that. Also, please post all your notes here. We will monitor you and offer encouragement and support.

..Really??.. Wow thanks!

Now I just have to think of some small projects...

how about finishing school?

how about finishing school?

 

Slowly, one baby step at a time. Building confidence here.

Speaking about school - Tomoz im going there for like 20 mins b4 i go to Tully. It's during class which is good (i dont want to really talk to anyone 'cept one) but bad cuz like i just said i want to meet someone. Its during her maths lesson so i said if she wants to make an excuse but if not thats ok (grade 12 and i know she likes to keep up with school work).

 

I hope i do see her again, shes a great friend, and knows more about me then any other person there.I guess shes the only one i really trust (there are others but this is on a more personal level). While i do hope she does get a few mins out of class i dont want her to get in trouble and i prefer she stayed in class to stay out.

 

We'll see how that goes.

 

As for my report, well i'm remaking an old game i once made and thats going well. already got movement and basics done so yay

Well sorry I hadn't replied in some time but as I can see Dregnought kept everyone updated. Nottogreen I think that is excellent advice and I do hope he follows through. Hmm. I know your first small project could be following through with this. Making the notes, posting it here, that stuff could be one of your first small projects. That's my vote.

Well sorry I hadn't replied in some time but as I can see Dregnought kept everyone updated. Nottogreen I think that is excellent advice and I do hope he follows through. Hmm. I know your first small project could be following through with this. Making the notes, posting it here, that stuff could be one of your first small projects. That's my vote.

 

Hi Moon Goddess,

 

Good to hear from you again. Please keep an eye on him...

Lol - trust me she is.

I am glad you are trying to nip the "not finishing" thing. I know you can easily carry it into adulthood. I did. Also, you do bring with you the defeatist attitude as "nottogreen" wrote. Don't wait until later to do this. You need to know you can do it now. I think you are on the right track.

*sighs*

I guess that half the problem is that no one really notices what I do. I tend to start them but at some point get down and say to myself "what point is there of doing this?? no ones really gonna notice nor care..."

 

It's happening right now. Im so sorry.

*sighs*

I guess that half the problem is that no one really notices what I do. I tend to start them but at some point get down and say to myself "what point is there of doing this?? no ones really gonna notice nor care..."

 

It's happening right now. Im so sorry.

Well, I still did not forget you.

 

Where are your project notes?

Oh wait... I missed this part

The way to do that is to pick a very small project of a few hours work and finish it.

 

Distractions suck.

 

So then i'll have to do something for a few hours.. I wonder what though...

Oh wait... I missed this part

 

Distractions suck.

 

So then i'll have to do something for a few hours.. I wonder what though...

You can put distractions aside for a few hours.

Well, here i am, sitting at a screen for the last hour or so doing absolutly nothing. Normal for me. what is wrong with me?????

 

i dont even feel like eating again, all i had in the last 48 hours roughly is a sandwhich and some hot chips.

 

*Sighs* MG will be on soon which will help alot.

Not eating again - check.

*sighs* i'm having thoughts. Bad ones. Cutting deep on my wrist and sliceing a HUGE hole in my leg (Several inches deep by a foot long...)

 

Yea.... all because of this * * * *ed up problem. Why am i like this?

 

I know I wont go, because i'd be pratically killing my baby with my own 2 hands. That is something i could never do. And my sister, and her bf, and maybe one or two others.

 

i wish i was turly alone cuz then i could go and no body would care nor notice.

Hi Dregnought,

 

Sorry to hear that.

 

So, why did you not do your project?

I don't have anything that will last a few hours that i'd actually quite like. I'm looking at Messenger Plus! Live scripting atm...

OK, I have a small project which will help to understand you more.

 

Please write about yourself and your family from when you can remember. What makes you happy, what makes you sad.

 

I think it will take you 1-2 hours and us here will read that and give you more advice.

Why is that so hard to do? theres so much im trying ot forget, please dont make me do this...

Why is that so hard to do? theres so much im trying ot forget, please dont make me do this...

I can't make you do and it is important you want to do.

 

I know, you want to forget. OK, it would be nice to flash-erase (brain wash) it. Problem is it won't work.

 

Have you tried counseling? It would be best you could talk to a counselor for sure.