What happens when you're absolutely, befuddlingly, bamboozingly in love with your soulmate, engaged, and she leaves you? She says a few sentences explaining nothing and turns around and leaves. What the hell are you supposed to do when you made damn sure that she felt the same way you did? What are you supposed to do when that one, perfect person runs away not wanting to talk to you ever again even though you DID NOTHING WRONG?
How can a person fit you soooooo well but turn out to be a little crazy? What are the odds of finding the next one in a million woman that completes you?
18 months ago I asked myself these questions and am still asking myself these questions. Not everyday mind you, just when I'm contemplating the meaning of life and seeking answers to questions that have no answers.
I loved this girl so much, and still do I suppose, that I wasn't angry in the slightest when she left. I really just wanted her to be happy even if it wasn't with me. Deep down I know what happened (displaced anger at her ******* father projected towards me) but it has so screwed my personal trust in others.
I came to the decision that you never can be 100% sure. I've learned that even if you're 99.99999% sure, that .00001% can come back and bite you in the ***.
I don't really want to get close to anybody now. Even the 18 months without sex hasn't motivated me to seek out companionship.
Why oh why must life be like this?