Update on me, thanks for the help

Just an update for those of you helping me. There isn't much to say, it is over. Yesterday was the breaking point, I couldn't concentrate on anything except her for the whole day, work, school, even driving. I almost got into a serious car accident with an 18 wheeler, and got out of it okay only because they guy managed not to hit me. Yeah, saying I'm out of order is an understatement. I called her late and told her I needed to talk, went over her house. Basically I asked her why is it that she is holding on to us, and asked if a fear of hurting me was the only reason. She said it wasn't the only reason, but couldn't say anything else. We talked some more, I told her that I love her and would wish for us to stay together, BUT only if she wanted it to be so too. And if she didn't, I told her it was pointless to force things out. She hugged me told me she's sorry for everything, I told her that there is nothing to be sorry about...some more small talk for goodbye and I walked out and that was it.

Thing is, what do I do now? I feel even worse than before, I feel like I've made a terrible mistake. I feel like I would do ANYTHING to have her back, I desire her even more, I desire her comfort. And I desire to hold her so much. Yesterday I also asked her to give me time and space for a while, but just seeing her in the class we share is so very painful to me. She looks it seems even more beautiful and I want to just reach out and tell her I was stupid for forcing a break up and hold her again… I feel so wretched and weak. Is this normal after a breakup, to want the person even more? What do I do now? How do I get over her? I don't think it even fully hit me that she's not there anymore, she's everywhere and everything, I tried to get rid of some pictures of us and then I realized that almost every object in my apartment is somehow related to her. What am I to do? I'm sure, no matter how much I want it, going back is not an option that will solve things, but what will? It seemed that I just wasn't able to go on in this relationship, but now that it is over I feel even worse. How do I live?

Poor possum...

It's a long and complicated process.... you are going to have mixed feelings and thoughts for a while.. then one day - you'll realise that you don't need her to be happy...

Stay strong! I'm here if you want to talk.

It does feel hard whther you're the dumper or dumpee but a few weeks, months, years down the line you'll find someone who being with just seems naturally right.