Why are Men Intimidated by Intelligent Women?

Much to my dismay, I have found that men are not only not attracted to, but that they're actually repelled by intelligent and knowledgable women who refuse to hide this fact, (trust me you would be amazed at how many women, who are either too shy or insecure, go to great lengths to try to conceal this from men) and who aren't afraid to speak up in a conversation or friendly debate when they've got valid points or differing opinions.

 

Is it so hard for a man to grasp that a woman can be logical and well read, that she may be talented in both mathematics and philosophy, but still bawl her eyes out when watching The March of the Penguins????

 

I don't know, men and women both, I would love to hear your opinions on this

Whilst it is a generalisation, unfortunately I think you are in the main right. I am not sure if this is women's fault, men's fault, a combination of the 2 or it's just a cultural hangover.

 

I'm not sure if it is that some men are turned off by intelligence or it is that some women think they are.

Acctually, I love an intelligent woman who can chime in on a conversation and am friends with many.

 

I'm acctually turned off by low-class or ditsy women.

sigh...........i suppose i am quite smart. but my sister says i act dumb as rocks.

 

sigh.......

 

and i suppose men are threatened. but who gives a fat hairy deal? i intend to make more money than most men as well. i suppose that would be a double repellant. too bad.

I think it depends on who you ask. Some guys like having an intelligent conversation with a woman, and some don't. It's sometimes as simple as that. Also, some guys might have a fear of confronation (i.e. being out-smarted by a woman).

 

And what do you mean exactly by "intelligent"? Book smart? Opinionated? What?

Some guys are insecure, and have to be dominant in the relationship, physically, intellectually, etc. Or it may be in their upbringing, taught to be the provider and as such have the ability to provide. An intelligent woman may make them feel stupid or inferior, in essense, "stealing their thunder" perhaps. Then again, some guys are turned on by a little ditziness I guess. They may find it sexy or something who knows.

 

Also, there is the set of intelligent women out there using their intelligence to prove something, like having a chip on their shoulder and constantly acting smart due to their own insecurity I believe. But this is undertsandable I guess because of the "male" society in which we live. I've read a lot of material stating that women have to work harder than men in the same jobs to earn the same salary, etc., things to this effect.

 

There are a lot of reasons why I think. But I did read somewhere that highly educated men are more likely to marry as they age and highly educated women are less likely to marry as they get older. Don't question me on that one, it's just something I read...

I think it depends on who you ask. Some guys like having an intelligent conversation with a woman, and some don't. It's sometimes as simple as that. Also, some guys might have a fear of confronation (i.e. being out-smarted by a woman).

 

And what do you mean exactly by "intelligent"? Book smart? Opinionated? What?

 

In general I believe in the existence of "Multiple Intelligences",

 

but my personal definition, or description of one who's "intelligent" would be loosely defined as such:

 

one who is acutely aware not only of himself, but also of his environment. One who has a deeply rooted respect for truth and honesty. One who has a curiosity about life and the nature of things, and above all loves the process of discovering new things. One who is receptive, and thereforeeee open minded

about new concepts. One who is driven by questions as opposed to answers. One who is not threatened by challenge. One who prefers the benefits of being a small fish in a large pond......just to name a few

I think life would be easier to be dumb. I really think so.

Fabulous,

something truly to look forward to

a future consisting of sagging * * * * and loneliness

i would just as soon defend women as men, but the latter seem to be the victims of much more negative sexist stereotyping on this board...

 

i have never heard of a guy who looked for ignorance in a potential partner, i have never seen it on anyone's checklist (quite the reverse, in fact) and i think it's possibly wishful thinking for a female to believe that the reason men find her unbecoming is because of her superior intellect. still, it's more comforting than admitting to being neurotic, i suppose.

i would just as soon defend women as men, but the latter seem to be the victims of much more negative sexist stereotyping on this board...

 

i have never heard of a guy who looked for ignorance in a potential partner, i have never seen it on anyone's checklist (quite the reverse, in fact) and i think it's possibly wishful thinking for a female to believe that the reason men find her unbecoming is because of her superior intellect. still, it's more comforting than admitting to being neurotic, i suppose.

 

 

I'm feeling slightly bent out of shape here,

 

so what are you trying to say?

that I am some delusional unbecoming neurotic chick?

I'm feeling slightly bent out of shape here,

 

so what are you trying to say?

that I am some delusional unbecoming neurotic chick?

Queen, i am so sorry. i was just thinking about the way that sounded and i came back to this thread to add in a disclaimer that i did NOT mean to pin that on anyone at ENA, but rather i was saying that wishful thinking may be where the stereotype comes from in general, at least in part. unfortunately, when i returned you had already read my post.

 

please accept my apology, and thank you for responding with humor and restraint instead of completely ripping me a new trapdoor over it--which would have been justifiable considering the (unintended) insult.

 

*tips hat respectfully*

I run toward intelligent females, not away. But it is hard to find one that can match me on all levels. I am no Enstien, but I know I am above average tho. I don't mean to show off but a lot of times I can finish the sentence for the girl or even say it before she does. My mom is the only female to even finish a sentence for me.

But it is hard to find one that can match me on all levels.

 

I know it seems unlikely to you now but I'm sure one will come along sooner or later.

TOO HELL YOU SAY!

 

I need a woman to challenge my views, and my opinions.

 

To do all of this she has to be smart.

 

I'm not saying I am a genius by any means, but I need someone who will challenge me mentally. Will be able to converse on many topics.

 

I have issues finding girls who can do that.

 

You just have to broaden your aspects.

 

Jocks won't like a smart girl.

 

However, Geeks like me.

 

mmmm,

i would just as soon defend women as men, but the latter seem to be the victims of much more negative sexist stereotyping on this board...

of late, this would appear to be true although have seen posts that are sexist against women.

 

I am getting tired of seeing posts that generalise in any way. Apart from anything else it always seems so unintelligent.

I can't speak for other guys but I go for intelligent women. I want someone that can engage in intelectual debates and discuss deep issues and all that. Brains have always been the main thing I'm interested in.

I'd like nothing more to meet a girl who is super intelligent and has simiaar interests to me. Hmm one time at an academic conference I did meet one girl who was at the top of her university and all that and we got on really well and so on, two bad she came from a different state so nothing much really happened, I still keep in contact though.

 

Sadly I've seen a lot of smart girls who act dumb and prefer to be treated that way, and when I treat them as an equal they get all unconfortable.

 

Umm, I had a point here somewhere, oh yes, there are guys out there who are attracted to smart girls. Here's a question, what kind of guys are you attracted to?

 

What Budman said.. geeks are the way to go, you know the guys that have completed two degrees and are working on their masters and are all fired up with ambition and so on...

i would just as soon defend women as men, but the latter seem to be the victims of much more negative sexist stereotyping on this board...

If you look at the global population over a long period of time, men do fit negative stereotypes more.

 

In western countries and global cities, intellectual evolution has destroyed the ancient model but has not replaced it with something functional. This explains the neurotic situation you mention, however it affects both sexes.

I have never heard of a guy who looked for ignorance in a potential partner

I do not spend much time in the west. Here accross Asia and middle east the vast majority of men fit the worst sterotypes imaginable, and on average westeners are worse coming here believing into the ancient model. Many educated men are better, still the majority of men fits the stereotype, sadly.

i have never seen it on anyone's checklist (quite the reverse, in fact) and i think it's possibly wishful thinking for a female to believe that the reason men find her unbecoming is because of her superior intellect. still, it's more comforting than admitting to being neurotic, i suppose.

 

In summary, many people are unbecoming and ever more neurotic. Will take time and much education before it get's better.

Hmmm.... this is interesting.

 

I'm in a PhD program in biochemistry, so I guess that puts me in the category of intelligent. Honestly, I think it does frighten some men away, but they're not the ones for me anyways.

 

I know lots of women with MDs and PhDs, and they tend to marry men that have those advanced degrees also. I think for those men, the intelligence of their wives is a total turn on.

 

Keep looking!

For someone claiming to be intelligent the first post isn't very scientific. You have an untested hypothesis about intelligent women's success with men and don't even support it with anecdotal evidence.

 

Go ahead and test your hypothesis, approach some men and ask try to get them to discuss The Federalist Papers or the Kantian Dialectic or how the practical application of Communism during Stalin's rule differed from the theoretical writings of Marx. Then approach other men and start talking about American Idol or how you don't like terrists or whatever it is dumb people talk about.

 

Then post your success rate.

personally an unintelligent woman is a turn off to me.. hearing stupid comments all the time is boring.. if you're smart and can talk smart, it'll be fun.

... if you're smart and can talk smart, it'll be fun.

Talk smart is 10%, do something smart is what counts. Women really loose out here, and many of those who make it could not care less about men. My youngest sister, she studied airospace eng, she works in engineering for an airospace co, men? what for.

I thought the bimbo craze fizzled out? Oh well.

 

An intelligent conversation makes a woman all the more attractive, someone who can debate with you and keep you on your toes, making you all the wiser as you learn something and hopefully have taught something at the same time. A woman who starts her own business from the ground up is not only inspiring, but it just adds to her mystique. The woman who I was in love with who eventually got married, started her own business and is doing quite well. Another friend of mine is one hell of a puzzle solver. That's great company for me, someone who can tackle a challenge with me and if she solves it before me, I don't mind, I just sharpen my brain for the next puzzle. I guess men would find it unattractive it a woman would talk "at" them and not "to" them, sort of belittle them if they seemingly know more about a subject, but that works all accross the board.

 

I don't care though, I act as smart as a Monopoly thumbtack around a woman anyways. And just as useless, who ever picks the thumbtack?

 

...or how the practical application of Communism during Stalin's rule differed from the theoretical writings of Marx.

Now see, I had this conversation with a lady friend the other day and she couldn't stop laughing when I said that Zeppo and Groucho had the makings of being dictators, but Harpo was more of a right wing fundementalist for the deaf. I'm not even going to get into her reaction about my theory of Chico being the next president of Mexico. And they say I can't hold down an intelligent conversation. Who knew?!

I know both guys that are drawn to intelligent women and those that are repelled.

 

My own boyfriend loves the fact that I am intelligent, but at the same time he dislikes feeling stupid next to me in certain areas. For example, the English language, despite that not even being his first language (maybe not even his second) and having better spelling, grammar and punctuation skills than the majority of native Britons I have met. I don't understand why he is so sad about it when I don't feel too bothered by the fact he is a Mathematical genius whereas I am not so good in that area.

I don't know. I've personally never had a problem with guys turning me down for my intelligence - I think I am of above average intelligence; I'm wellread, eloquent, aware of whats going on in the world, quick.

 

I've always been told I was extremely intelligent but men would actually admire the fact that I could hold my own in almost any conversation (Except cars...sorry guys)

 

I've never been "turned down" by being too smart. I've been told I've made some people feel stupid, but thats about it.

 

I never try to be one of those know-it-alls...those people that, because they're intelligent, go out of their way to prove their intelligence just because they can. lol I don't make people feel uncomfortable.

 

In dating, if theres any problem, it's that I find it hard to find a guy to carry on an intellectual conversation with.