xavierarmadillo Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 I was dating a girl for 7 months, and all though we never fought, we also never did anything else. It was pretty boring on my end. I guess she saw things differently. Well I suggested that I needed more sexual experiance before tieing the knot or anything, and honestly I was bored. I didn't want to wonder what I was missing. Well she agreed and I got my experiance from a girl nearby who was dating someone else also. I figured there was no chance of any issues being she and I both were dating someone and she had a kid. I was wrong! We have now been dating 4 months and are fantastic together. No more boredom. Shes the first girl I have been sexually attrated to like a horny toad. Most others I liked for their personality, and I found thats not the best way to do things with relationships. I guess my post is about how there is no perfect way to meet someone. It can come at you any way, just be open to it. Don't stay with whats good enough, go for what you think you deserve. Her son is awesome, and I am willing to care for them both. I might have gotten her pregnant anyway. My ex can't seem to get over me, I find now after we broke up that she is way to clingy and was dating me because she didn't think she could get better. I don't like that. What a waste, she should find someone who makes her the happiest. For those of you depressed, you'll find the one when your not looking, thats what I find. Link to comment
Beyondthesea Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Most others I liked for their personality, and I found thats not the best way to do things with relationships. Well to each his own I guess! Remember looks don't last forever, so you'd better have something to talk about when forever rolls around. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 It sounds to me like your ex is still clinging because you said "you needed more sexual experience before you tied the knot." Now that you have your sexual experiences, I wonder if your ex thinks you will come back to her now. Have you told your ex it is over between the two of you and you are now with the new woman? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 I'd like to hear your update in one year from now (or even in 6 months from now), after at least some of the lust and newness/excitement fades. That is when it will be important for the two of you to have compatible personalities and values. Sure it can work but your relationship thus far is not an example of a lasting relationship -- for now it is an example of how strong s_xual attraction can be the mainstay of a relationship in the short term. Please don't have children until you've known each other at least a year, still get along despite the lessening s__xual interest, and plan on getting married. Otherwise it's not fair to the children. Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted May 30, 2006 Author Share Posted May 30, 2006 SOrry I should clairify. Shirey = Ex Terrie = Current girlfriend While with Shirey she allowed me to screw around with Terrie while we were still dating. We later broke up when I found I liked Terrie more then Shirey. Also, I still love Terries personality, but also I am very sexually attracted as well. They go together I think. I think you need them both, not just the one. We can talk about anything, I mean anything. I have told her things I am ashamed of and feel humiliated by, and the deepest sexual wants. We even just talk about random things. We can have a twig and have fun together with it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 congrats with terrie! I think maybe you should cut off contact with Shirey. That may help her move on. Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted May 30, 2006 Author Share Posted May 30, 2006 I just felt like with Shirey it was a rebounnd from the aweful relationship before her with Tonya. Link to comment
Cute Band Rat Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Xavier, you sound pretty shallow to me...seems to bounce from one relationship to the next..not letting one get cold before you hop into bed with another woman. I agree with the other poster, I'd like an update on how "wonderful" Terrie is in a year. Somehow I bet the story will turn out differently. Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted May 30, 2006 Author Share Posted May 30, 2006 Shallow perhaps, but its been my experiance if you have nothing to talk about with someone and are bored together, then theres not much between you. I mentioned that Shirey and I was boring. By that I mean we rarely talked about anything. We sat infront of the TV more like strangers in a doctors office. So if its shallow to be attracted to someone sexually and be able to have worthwhile conversations with them over someone else who you aren't connected to then fine. Before Shirey I dated Tonya for three years to only find we hated each other but were financially dependant on each other. So it was hard to separate. I dont want that to happen again. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 What's a twig? It sorta sounds like you weren't all that into Shirley for a while. Looking back: were you ever truly attracted to her? Or did you try to make it work bc she was a nice girl type of thing? Good luck with the new endeavor. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 LOL - I think he means to say he can pick up a twig/stick/branch/piece of wood and him and terrie will be able to talk about it for hours! Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted May 30, 2006 Author Share Posted May 30, 2006 I think it was because she was a nice girl and I am glad I didn't lead her on too long. A twig is a stick from a tree that is short. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 LOL. d'oh. I thought it was some sort of slang for a cigarette, a joint, or some other such thing. Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted May 30, 2006 Author Share Posted May 30, 2006 Haha thats ok, I am not so clear most of the time. Can't do anything bad when theres a baby around. Plus I am not into that kinda thing, all the girls I have dated have quit smoking because of my allergies to it. Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted February 14, 2007 Author Share Posted February 14, 2007 Well my first post was back in May. It’s been ten months since then. In June Terrie and her son moved in to my house and we started our lives together. We get along like no one else I have ever been with and things are going well. On the first of the year, we got married. Now we are starting our own business together. I was always taught by my parents that’s it is not what’s on the outside, instead the inside that counts. I think it goes far more deeply than that. You have to have some sort of attraction to someone but inside and out. Every person out there has someone who will find them beautiful when others might not. I think that all the girls I dated would have been better friends because I dated them because of who they were and what they wanted, not how I was attracted to them. I don't think shallow is anywhere close to describing a person. It is just as shallow a term as it describes. Everyone is different and screw what others think, if you are going to live your life there is no rule or guideline that you have to live by to get what you want in life. To all of you who think that this relationship is built on unstable ground, do you think that everyone does things like they should? It’s funny because there are so many people that find things normal in their own lives but think that others think those activities are weird. Yet in reality most people probably think the same way. Most people are too self conscious to notice what other people do, so we should all start acting like ourselves and stop thinking people are judging us.:splat: Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted October 2, 2008 Author Share Posted October 2, 2008 Update. We are still together, now married. Hows that? Link to comment
Gray Fox Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 wow, gratz been so long, nice thread Link to comment
lillylady05 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Here is an update for Xavierarmadillo am xavierarmadillo's wife. We are still together and married. Very happy and planning a second baby! I know that many people doubted we would stay together but we are soul mates Everyone has their hard times I think it is completely normal for couples go through it, but we are a family and we work through our problems together. We have made it through some very hard and stressful times. As for the attractions I still am attracted to him the same or more so than when we first started seeing each other. He is an amazing man and an amazing father. I couldn't be happier. So four years of marriage as of January 1, 2011 and five years together January 23! Link to comment
DN Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Good for you - nice to hear that. Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted September 27, 2018 Author Share Posted September 27, 2018 Hey. Terrie and I have three kiddos now. Third is our lovely daughter. We haven't had smooth sailing but we seem to get through anything that comes at us. Link to comment
xavierarmadillo Posted September 27, 2018 Author Share Posted September 27, 2018 Xavier, you sound pretty shallow to me...seems to bounce from one relationship to the next..not letting one get cold before you hop into bed with another woman. I agree with the other poster, I'd like an update on how "wonderful" Terrie is in a year. Somehow I bet the story will turn out differently. Is a twelve-year update adequate? Terrie is still wonderful. She has breastfeed my kids for over four years and goes to the end of the Earth for them. Sorry you lost the bet. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 Awesome update! Thanks!! Link to comment
HealingLight Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Congratulations! This was a really fun read. Love to see how it turned out. :) Link to comment
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