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Thread: Is it possible to fall in love with someone through letters?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006

    Is it possible to fall in love with someone through letters?

    I don't mean a crush or anything; I mean real being in love. Do you think it's possible, or do you believe you need to actually physically be with them to love them? (By physically I don't mean sex or anything, I mean just being around them.) I'm curious.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Lady Bugg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    I think it is possible to have feelings for someone...but to 'love" someone is a much deeper thing. Writing someone is just words. Who can't write pretty, nice words, and say things you want to hear? Loving someone is not just about reading's about living with them through the good, the bad and the ugly. It's easy to be soemone you are not on my personal bias is that No, you cannot TRULY "love" soemone through letters. You can love how they make you feel, or what they say..but not them.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    I agree with LadyBugg. Personally I don't think it is possible to truly be in love with somone through just correspondence or in fact just chatting over the internet. Really you cannot be in love with someone until you "know" them and the physical being is such a big part of that whether we like it or not. We express so much of ourselves (emotionally) through our body language that it is just to big a part of the equation to take out of the whole "in love" feeling.

  4. #4
    Member bobo85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    No its not possible. But it is possible to fall in love with the fantasy of being in love.
    When there is nothing else to do...go NC

    "The minute you feel like giving up, think of all the reasons why you held on for so long."



  6. #5
    Member anonymous_presence's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    There's far too much room for error when it comes to letter relationships. Writing can be a very personal and revealing thing for someone, yet you can't truly know what a person is like. There's problem, as Ladybugg said, with the writer, who can manipulate what s/he writes and make him/her appear to be someone else altogether. But there's also a problem with the reader, who can interpret the words in many different ways. It's so uncertain that there's too much room for idealization and projection for there to be anything real. But then again, you also see this in face-to-face scenarios.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Thumbs up Love through letters---definitely yes

    Yes, I think it is definitely possible to fall in love through letters. That is how I fell in love. I did meet him a few times and we talked on the phone, but most of our communication was via email since we were long distance. If two people are very grounded and the letters have substance (not mushy gushy love letters), you can learn a lot about a person. You get to know their mind rather than focusing on their physical presence. People get too caught up having to be with their significant other constantly that it becomes an obsession..."when am I going to see him/her next". Love takes time to grow and it is the "I love you" declarations within a few weeks of knowing someone that leads more people down the wrong path. Love via letters takes time, but it can have much more substance than "love at first sight" or those declarations of love within a month of knowing someone. Love via letters allows you to process information about the person without the distractions and desperation to be with the person.

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