NC Bandwagon 2, hop on n hope for the best

ok so i was goin thru an old post about NC

and i thought bout starting a thread about it.all credit to webchick for comin up with the idea.

well its all about maintaining 30 days NC and seeing the results thereafter.I would like to start with my experience on my day 10 of NC.plan to update it daily,my fellow broken hearts , lets give each other hope through this thread and heal through NC. sorry if I sound too whimsical but I believe we can all grow out of this pain of learning to live life again , without our ex.

so here goes my day 10: the first thing in the morning is her thought and the same ol "what ifs " was tempted to text her but restrained myself.left for office,feeling low , these thoughts just keep occupying my head.once at work except the slight numbness , feel better.

call up ol buddies talk bout general stuff till he mentions herand i m back to square one,not really, get out of my seat , have a smoke,some coffe and the thoughts all but gone.try n keep myself busy the rest of the day, finally feel slightly relieved... am glad another day of NC has passed.plan to pamper myself with a nice hot water bath and 3 course meal tonight, all by myself.

Day 11 here I come.

I'll jump on the bandwagon, I need all the help and support I can get. I know how your feeling notanymore. Hell isn't it?

After my ex split with me 3 weeks ago I've broken NC once, 8 days ago. And I really don't want to have to start the count again.

I feel like crap. I'm ok at work until something happens that reminds of him or that I want to tell him. I get in the car for my hour long drive home and cry.

I'm sick of wondering what he's doing. I'm sick of thinking about him and I wish I could stop. I'm hurting. And just want it to go away.

welcome aboard. alteer

love your avtaar , mean people really suck , i know how it feels.

I'm sick of wondering what he's doing. I'm sick of thinking about him and I wish I could stop. I'm hurting. And just want it to go away

the fact of the matter is things remain important till you make them consider them as important.you can stop thinking about it by changing your priorities .its tough , but u need to tell urself that this is temporary and unimportant.

tell urself this "wht he is doing now will not affect me in anyway.try n divert your mind to something else.". i remember going to the theatre watching movies all by myself to make it go away.have faith in yourself , u ll come out of it, i know i am still hanging on.and i wont let you give up hope as well,you will come out of it, have faith in yourself.

whenever u feel like thinking about him , put down ur thoughts on this forum, gradually push them out of your system,

Good luck with NC

cheers

Im in. 3days now. Broken numerous times, but i will heal now because i want to. I will start again, and i will do this.

Count me in. Today is officially DAY 1. I'm so sick of feeling like I have no self control. Lets keep this thread going, PLEASE.

I'm in week seven of NC myself, however I did send a text this morning asking her to please send me the money she owes me. I realize a lot of people on this board claim that if you truly want to heal that you need to let go of all that stuff, but I don't play that way.

She owes me some cash which she explicitly stated she would repay (money I lent her to register the car I GAVE her) and I want it back.

I still consider myself to be successful in my NC, however.

Keep the faith, it gets easier every day.

Malcontent, consider the money she owes you as the money you have given her to get the key to your heart back. As long as you think she owes you ANYTHING, you can't move forward.

This is my third month of NC. Well, I forwarded a letter addressed to her that came to my address to her parents' address last week, with a stickie that read "Here's a letter that came to my address instead of yours. Take care." So, I don't think that's quite breaking NC.

It's tough and thoughts of her persist. Searching for someone who made me as happy as she did is impossible. So, I'm just taking my time and waiting for God and destiny to do its work. I'm dating and getting to know a lot of women. I haven't so much as kissed another woman besides my ex in 5 years, but that will probably change tomorrow night.

Orlander

stick with no contact...i just found out that my ex has advertised all my beutifully written e-mail and letters of me proffesing my love and reconciliation to her friends and family (its been a while now and i really dont care any morebut ...no contact all the way)....all i did was love her in return i was rewarded with redicule and humiliaton....i am glad to say all this info has helped me squeeze out every ounce of love i had for her in my heart..all that remains is hatred..for her abuse and conitnous lies. if she came back groveling on her hands and knees (dont worry she wont but a guy can dream) i would kick her in the face...thats how much i hate her. took me 7 months to implement no contact..wish i did it from day one..tried doing the friends thing..that blew up in my face...i love this hate thing its great, plus i feel so much better..i too was one of those guys.."as much as i want to hate her i can cause i love her so much" hahaaaaa what a bunch of malarki...i hate the witch..i hope she loses some limbs along the way..lol NC otherwise get ready to be abused ... i have learnt a major lesson i will never chase a girl..ever..you want out..theres the door ... now get the F out!

Count me in for Day 1. After he denied his own words to me, I wrote him an email saying good-bye. And I meant it. I expect that the worst will be the next 21-30 days and after that I'll be OK with regards to him, but not OK with regards to having my heart open.

week 3 NC here...I still find myself thinking of her in the mornings and after that it takes me forever to get up out of bed. I used to think sleep would be the only time I wouldnt think of her

Malcontent, consider the money she owes you as the money you have given her to get the key to your heart back. As long as you think she owes you ANYTHING, you can't move forward.

 

Erm...no, I don't think so. I've already gotten the "keys to my heart" back, now I want my money back. It's principle. The money was a loan, and loans are repaid.

--just go through a third party to get the cash back.

I guess tomorrow would be Day 1 of no contact. Tried it twice, each time lasted 7-10 days. Feel so set back.

It's been 7 weeks after we broke up. I broke it off but wanted to get back (more than likely a bad idea to go back) and he said no (good thing, but hurts like a mother f&^&%$).

Can't stand the thought of him with someone else, esp. some mediocre biotch with no personality and no soul. Have yet to happen because he insists he's still in love with me. It sucks hearing them say they love you but it's for the best.

He still wants to hang out and do things together "as friends." Tempting, but cannot set myself up like that. Most of me wants to leave the relationship forever, but there's that little voice of remorse & doubt, which gets louder and louder when I'm with him.

On my 6th day of NC and feeling much better. This forum has been so much help.

I'm going on a month now.. NC.. still really tough.. I'm still fighting figuring out whether it's her I miss or the woman/companionship to come home to... I now live in a house in a state I don't want to be at and I'm alooooone... talk about boring. I will probably have to see her Mem. weekend because it's a mutual friend's wedding, and I imagine the new boy, or homewrecker I like to call him will be there too. As much as I feel I have to be at this wedding, I'm debating going. I don't know how I'll handle seeing her with another guy, or "the" guy I should say. I know I wouldn't do or say anything stupid though because I care and have too much respect for these people and their wedding. I'd like to kick him in the face though.

Man, not only does NC suck, but NC (North Carolina) sucks too... it may be cheaper everyone.. but there's reasons for that... there's NOTHING to do!!!

For those of you dealing with NC and are having a hard time, stay strong. It will be difficult for a while, I've been there. Just look up my previous posts. When I was dealing with the whole NC idea, this website is what kept me strong. There are many wonderful people here to support you during your hard time, but in the end, you will be a stronger and happier person.

The bandwagon is going strong, all the best with NC folks

Here goes my Day 11:

woke up quite a few times during the night, slept in fits, woke up ,her thought came, felt miserable, forced myself to sleep again the same thing happened again n again.strange dreams started coming, really weird ones.got outta bed and i was heavy in the heart again.thought wht she must be doin, watched the paper, had promised that we d go together to watch "da vinci code" wondered if she d be thinkin bout me or lying in his arms enjoying herslf.

was tempted to text her cried for a while,gosh i feel so lonely, life sucks, dragging myself on to office, glad to find so many people in the NC bandwagon, has given me lots of hope, in fact i did away with my urge to text her, felt much better.wont stay secluded. prob go out for soem beer with friends tonight.

thank u all Alteer, minnie,cutebandrat,malcontent,blemished,orlander,sukerbut,mike'ca,wickedbusa,eyeswideopen,fifregister,psylocke960lets be their for each other ,give each other strength to maintain NC and get out of this miserable time in out lives.We sure will,

Tough times never last, but tough people do, i m sure u all must ve heard it, lets be tough ppl, lets get out of this miserable time in out lives, i have not lost hope on anyone of us,trying to rebuild our lives from scratch, we will bounce back.we certainly will.good luck with NC.cheers

We broke up 5 weeks ago and I tried everything to get her back, I came so close 3 weeks ago when she was telling me she loved me, then all of sudden she told me to stop calling, I did a few things like letters etc but she disregards them.

The pain is awful, I woke up and cried my eyes out... I hope it goes away. Well.. until she gets a new guy The thing is it was my fault we broke up, Ive learned my lesson (truly), Theres nothing I wouldnt do.

Im going to ride this pain out NC style, I know she will eventually think about me when I stop "bothering" her, she may even come back, what do you think guys.

it is upto you to decide what you want out of the relationship.

Maybe she thinks its over between you2. It took me more than a month after breakup to realise this the pain was even worse.think it over, if its the same for you then better realise it and cut short your misery.go for NC .

sorry if i am judgemental ,i hope things turn out fine and you 2 are back again with her. however for me , NC is a means to heal and come out of my misery.it could work for you in gettin u two together.all the best to you

I think then it best to think its truley over and then Im not holding onto anything and making my pain worse. I really messed up, I know everyone says it and im not the only one, but the pain is absolutely unbearable, man if you want to lose weight, try pretending you dont love someone anymore.

Hi,

I'm new here although have been lurking and reading.

Hope you dont mind me jumping in on this too.

Im now at 21 days true NC after splitting up 2 months ago and I am REALLY struggling now with it.

I cant believe how much I still miss her and want to send her a message saying just that, although I'm trying to respect her wishes of needing time to be alone.

It hurts so much, every day should be getting easier yet they get harder, I really am on the verge of sending her this message, and really trying to at least hold out till day 30!...then I'll see how I feel then.

Still in tears every day about it all, so hope this may help.

thank u all Alteer, minnie,cutebandrat,malcontent,blemished,orlander,sukerbut,mike'ca,wickedbusa,eyeswideopen,fifregister,psylocke960lets be their for each other ,give each other strength to maintain NC and get out of this miserable time in out lives.We sure will,

Thanks to you notanymore for starting this thread. It helps to know you're not alone.

Tough times never last, but tough people do, i m sure u all must ve heard it, lets be tough ppl, lets get out of this miserable time in out lives, i have not lost hope on anyone of us,trying to rebuild our lives from scratch, we will bounce back.we certainly will.good luck with NC.cheers

Ok now onto my progress. The end of day 8 ended with a minor melt down. You know tears and the like. But I didn't break NC (so proud of that and I'm determined not to).

Woke up this morning to begin day 9 and felt somewhat at peace with the whole situation. Have been trying to stay positive today which helped.

I think now I'm mostly mad. Mad at the way I was dumped. Doing the disappearing act is just low......I thought he was better than that. The problem is that this is the only thing I can be mad at. He really was a nice guy and treated me well during our relationship. And that's what makes this so difficult. It's easier when you can hate the other person.

But oh well. Live and learn.

Stay strong everybody. My thoughts are with you all.

...I imagine the new boy, or homewrecker I like to call him will be there too...I don't know how I'll handle seeing her with another guy, or "the" guy I should say. I'd like to kick him in the face though.

Amen to that. My ex started seeing a new guy one week after we split. They'd been laying the groundwork for months. He's known me my whole life (he's a friend's father - 61 effing years old). Unfortunately for him, I have no qualms about kicking the sh*t out of the elderly. His day will come and he will face a reckoning like he's only dreamed of.

Granted, I wanted to be rid of her for a LONG time, but I'm immature and was never ready to deal with the pain. Regardless, he knew we were together and he chose to be "that guy" for three months. I'm biding my time, but he's going to lose a couple of teeth for that decision.

I love this thread! This whole NC issue is what ultimately drove me to post for the first time. Before I started visiting this site I had no idea what a big deal this was for everyone. I just thought I was being weak and foolish about the whole thing. I not only found out how common this problem is, there's a specific name for it, too "NC"!

I've maintained NC for well over 2 months now. I'm feeling a lot better but I still have my low points. One thing that's helping me is that since I haven't had any contact with him for a while, I think it would be hard for me to come up with something to say to him. I mean, my life is exactly the same for me now as it was at the time of the breakup. I'd have to lie to come up with anything interesting to say to him.

I thought I was doing really good until this morning when I broke down and cried (It's now exactly 1 week with NC). I think the realization is starting to hit me that it's completely over and all the great memories we've had will stay exactly what they are...Just memories and no more new ones. But I will continue NC and keep moving forward.

Thank you so much to everyone else as well. Reading these posts definitely make me a bit stronger by the minute. Stay well everyone!

Hi,

I'm new here although have been lurking and reading.

Hope you dont mind me jumping in on this too.

Im now at 21 days true NC after splitting up 2 months ago and I am REALLY struggling now with it.

I cant believe how much I still miss her and want to send her a message saying just that, although I'm trying to respect her wishes of needing time to be alone.

It hurts so much, every day should be getting easier yet they get harder, I really am on the verge of sending her this message, and really trying to at least hold out till day 30!...then I'll see how I feel then.

Still in tears every day about it all, so hope this may help.

Welcome kickedwhereithurts. I'm sorry to hear about your pain. But you're doing so well to have made it as far as you have!! We are all here to support each other, and I've found this site and the people on it so helpful. It really helps keep you strong when you feel so down.

I've also found it an enormous help just to write my feelings out, so keep posting, get it out there, we are here for you.