My Father Just Passed Away

He was not sick.

He was the perfect image of health.

It was just he, me and my mother in this house. And he just died.

I am in total shock and disblief.

Oh my gosh I'm soooooo sorry.......that is so odd, how did he die? what do the doctors think it was???

KO,

I'm so sorry and I know that when it was not anticipated it is much harder to deal with. I know that it's hard but you need to be there for your mother and we will all help you as much as we can. I have not lost a parent and I can only imagine the overwhelming pain and grief. Again, I'm sorry and my prayers go out to your family.

RC

That is terrible!!I am so sorry.I hope you're going to be okay.If you need to talk,we're all here for you.

I am so sorry - that must be awful for you. And yes, we are all here for you.

I am so sorry. It is really a shock. What happened? ((hugs))

Sorry to hear about that.

I am so sorry Kyo,

You were so helpful to me recently, and I just wanted to say you have my greatest condolences, thoughts and prayers to you & your family.

When it happens quick, it often leaves lots of questions and regrets, but so many people also say when it happens, they want it to be quick. He was lucky as he was home with the people that loved him, and that is something that cannot be regretted.

Hugs, and again, you are in my thoughts,

Rachel.

I need help calming my mother down. Her best friend is on the way over. I am afraid for her. As for me, it has not hit yet but when I get to the hospital in a couple of hous, I have no idea what to do. Thank you all.

This is going to be a really tough time for you. But for your mother's sake you need to stay calm and focus. There is a time for grieving and that will come. Understand that you father loved you and would rely on you to help your mother through this bad time.

For now there are things you need to do.

First, decide if your mother needs to see a doctor for some sort of sedative.

Call any friends or relatives who need to be told. Get as much help as you can.

Call, or ask a trusted friend or relative to call, a good and reputable funeral home. A good one will help guide you through many decisions that have to be made. Be careful you don't just use the first one or one that will take advantage of your grief. You may find it useful to call a family lawyer if you have one. You will need one to help locate your father's will and see if he left any directions for his passing.

Call a priest or minister if you or your family belong to a church.

Don't make any decisions quickly - take your time.

We are here for you and can help you make any decisions that need to be made by finding resources for you - or just to lend a sympathetic ear. Don't hesitate to call on us.

Oh my, I am so sorry! Big hugs to you! We are here whenever you need us! My prayers and thoughts are with you and you mom.

I am so sorry. I am always afraid that something will happen to a member of my family, but I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. I am so, so sorry...

We are here for you, and we will try our best to assist you.

Luv Me Lots

Im so very sorry for your loss. I know that words can not possibly take the pain away but know that my thoughts are with you.

I am so sorry to hear that - the what happened questions can always be answered whenever you feel like it, we are all here for you, please don't panic or do anything stupid, your better then that. Just be there with your mum and keep things somewhat cool.

Kyo,

May you find the strength to get through this.

I'm really sorry for your loss, good luck and take care

Hi Kyo,

So sorry.... Help your mum to calm down. Ring your good friends...they'll understand and be there for you in person.

Cry and let your feelings flow down. Dont hold your tears anymore.....let your feelings/grief out....(Get any of your relatives/family members/good friends to join you and your mum to the hospital).

We are there for you at this time.....But understand onething, you need to grieve.....for that, u need to realise...

LD

P.S: Im sorry to tell you this, but i lost my dad too unexpectedly and i didnt realise it then, b'cos i had to stay strong to comfort my mum and thereforeeee didnt grieve. Till today, even now, i face the consequences of not grieving completely....

Im really sorry. If you need to talk I am here for you. I know what it is like to lose a dad... my dad died VERY unexpectedly in 1991...

I know my father is in a better place.. where he doesnt feel any pain or any sadness..... and he is watching over me...I try to talk to him every night.. hopefully that doesnt make me sound crazy... it just makes me feel better...

Kyo:

I know where you are coming from. I am so sorry that you and your family suffered this loss. It is never easy, believe me I know. My mom had a stroke on a Wed. and died that Saturday.

People will say if there is anything you need, please let us know. People will try to comfort you, but they do not know how to make you feel better. Some people make food, others clean, others write cards, others just visit.

Peolpe have a very difficult time coping. Let yourself feel and don't supress the loss. You will be numb for awhile, and then the feelings change. You question why it happened and then you might get angry. It is the grieving process. When my mom died, my whole family went to grief counseling. It was tough, but there were other people there to talk to.

Sometimes people have no idea what you are going through, but, just know you are never alone. You might feel that way at times, but again, you are never alone.

This will be a busy time trying to get everthing in order. Please be gentle with yourself. Take the time off if you can and try to work through this. Wrap yourself in the memories of your loved one and keep warm with the thoughts of those memories that were created. Your dad may not be here in the physical sense, but he is always with you in your heart.

If you need to talk, please pm.

My thought and prayers go out to you and your family.

My condolence goes to you and your family. I can certainly understand what you're going through. When a sudden unfortunate event takes place unanticipated, it leaves you with so much regrets - you never get to express what's in your heart. Just hang in there and be strong. That's what your father would have wanted.

Hello Kyo,

Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Condolences to you and your family,

hosswhispra

Nothing gold can stay (by Robert Frost)

Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

I am so sorry, please accept my sincerest condolences. What a horrible tragedy. My prayers are with you and your mom.

Thank you everyone for your prayers. In sincerely appreciate it.

I cried a lot, but not enough. I am in regret because even though he was the epitome of health, looking 10-15 years younger than his age, he was still a 65 year old supervisor who had a hard working schedule. He worked too hard. It is probably greedy of me to want to make seven figures a year so that he can retire because in my heart of hearts, I knew this job was going to kill him. I told that to myself every week for this past year.

My mother is literally in shock. The entire night has not registered for her. She keeps asking the same questions because the shock has given her some type of short term memory with this. I had to call EMS to see if she needed some counceling or medication to calm her.

The hardest part was telling my grandmother, his mother. She had two sons, her first died in 1991. And her husband died three years ago, ironically, 1 day after Mother's Day. She is a POWERFUL 83 year old woman. I can tell she will be ok, but when she started to cry, I lost it because I didn't think of my father as a dad, I thought of him as a son who called his mother everyday to make sure she was alright.

He was so healthy. I cooked his chicken or fish every night for him. He just had a checkup and was given a clean bill of health. Everyone called him the coolest guy they ever met. He was smooth and suave, and in his younger days he was the spitting image of Marvin Gaye.

I am not going to say, "Why me?! Why us?!" Everyone goes through these trials and tribulations. It's life. But I do question "Why now?!" I am not so powerful that I can question God, but I will every now and then as we all do.

Last month I told myself that I couldn't wait for the holidays to come because I was going to make it special. Now it is too late.

I am going to be on here a lot for escape. But it's hard to escape when the grief follows you everywhere you go. Again thank you to everyone for their condolences and prayers.

And also to those who have lost a loved one, my prayers go out to you too.

Kyo,

Your post about your dad made me tear up, it sounds like you really admired and loved him. Marvin Gaye, eh? Your mum was lucky!

Death surprises us that way. So does illness. My mum too was the picture of health until her diagnosis. My boyfriend whom died at age 25 was also vibrant, full of life, healthy......until he was felled by something hidden and unknown. That is why you need to live life to the fullest. Why now? Maybe because life for him was not meant to slow down and have him go slowly, maybe for him going in his "prime" was the best. It is always worse for those left behind, I know, but sometimes there is no "why", there just "is".

It sounds like your dad loved you all, which is why he worked so hard, to provide and care for you. Because he loved you all.

Be there for your mother, your grandmother, and make the holidays special for those of you whom ARE here, because I KNOW your dad would of wanted that, right? For you to all carry on living.

Love,

Rachel