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Thread: "healing" --> "back together" --> "relationships" --> "breaking up" -->... "healing"

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Somewhere over the rainbow

    "healing" --> "back together" --> "relationships" --> "breaking up" -->... "healing"

    Yup! Love is a space where all emotions can be experienced. This guy made me change threads that many times! He's put me on an emotional rollercoaster for the past 8 months. I don't know I just thought I'd post to evaluate on everything, and try to figure out myself what I am feeling. Because ever since the break up, a couple of days ago, I've not yet cried like the first time, but I am filled with all these different feelings I can't quite identify.

    When we broke up I never thought we'd get back together because he made it clear he doesn't want a serious relationship, and that I deserve better than to be messed about, he's not the one for me etc. etc. Anyway, a couple of months down the line he'd broken up with his "new girlfriend" he got, and then we started to re-connect. A couple of weeks after we reconnected we made out a few times, he told me how much he's missed me, how much he adores me, that he thinks he's ready for a serious relationship now, that he connects with me on a different level, and I kept telling him I didn't believe him, but DESPITE this, he kept trying to convince me that its true. In the end we concluded that "we'll take it slowly".

    After this evening, he didn't call me back. For three weeks. We went back to college after that, and I was so angry at myself for falling for it all again, and even more angry at him for pushing it that far. I had to be around him unavoidably because of our registration, and I decided to blank him. I wasn't rude, just very cold. He tried to make small-talk with me, as though nothing ever happened between us! Asking me how my holiday was for example!! Anyway, then i found out from someone else that he has a new girlfriend. I could not believe it. So then I bumped into him again and he said "please dont be cold with me, can I at least say I'm sorry" with the most guilty look on his face. I was like FINE whatever. I told him I know he's in a relationship and he was like " but we weren't really going out though ". In response to this I reminded him he actually said lets take it slowly. (Is it me or was he THAT close to cheating on a girl, ie. me?) He insisted we talk about it so we went for a drive and he explained to me that kissing me was a mistake and that he's so sorry, and I was like WHY DID YOU SAY THOSE THINGS?!!?! Why did you try and convince me for all that time?! He said he really wanted to make me happy (shocking i know). Other stuff he said was that he said he doesn't know me that well (what the hell!?) and that we are similar but don't connect (what the hell?!) and just so much stuff, that he deserve so much better because he's not relationship material, this relationship he's in now is not a serious one. There were lots of things obviously I said to him which he just really had no answer for other than a look of complete guilt, but insisted how sorry he is and how he wants us to be friends.

    It's weird because I realise all his bad qualities and its the second time I've had him so it's like, less painful that before and plus I was expecting this for three weeks anyway. I feel quite offended though, that I was a "mistake", and that he thinks I'm so insecure that I NEED him to make me happy. Also that he told me his friend liked me so why not go out with him (that was one of the worst things he could say).

    What do you guys think? I mean it's hard to figure out when this guy is lying and when he's not, and when there's all an act going on, and most of all WHY?
    I'd reeeeeeeally appreciate replies even though this has gotten long because it might help me figure out what emotion to feel right now

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    he's obviously playing games and not sure what he wants, ur best of leaving him alone

  3. #3
    Member stolenshadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    It really is impossible to figure out which things are true or what side of his "honesty" you should take, but there are two important things you can do, one remember actions speak louder than words and two if he's confused that doesn't mean you have to be too.

    He clearly has no clue what's going on with him or what in the world he is doing, I don't think he's a bad person I'm more prone to believe he's not clever and is very messed up.
    But even if he's not mean or cruel what he is doing to you is not right, he shouldn't think only about himself and his own pleasure or enjoyment, specially when that is causing pain to others.

    I think you should stay away, even if this guy gives you another speech of how much he loves you don't go back, don't start anything until he remains single and with the offer to commit to you for a few months, in other words, don't rush into anything.

    But we both know you deserve better, so if you feel strong just do NC and get him out of your life.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Diggitydave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Mercer County, NJ
    whoever started this post. amen. i feel EXACTLY how you do right now.


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