Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 16 of 16

Thread: *HELP* Getting Married? Advice (Long)

  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    21
    Sorry I didn't mention, I am doing Christmas with her. We agreed on Christmas, Birthdays, and Valentines day. Also, I do go to church with her on a regular basis.

    What about the fighting and such? Any other input?? How do I know if she is truly in love with me and it isn't because we had sex?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member RayKay's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Middle of Canada
    Age
    40
    Posts
    12,868
    Gender
    Female
    I think there are a few things you two need to work out before you get married.

    Some couples whom do marry young do work out, some people with differing religions also have great marriages. However, couples whom cannot solve conflict and communicate in a healthy manner often have a lot of resentment and unhappiness as it erodes the love.

    I have one big suggestion - Pre-Marital counselling! For the conflict resolution and communication, as well as to discuss issues like how would children in this relationship be raised (ie what religion?). There is also the fact she may be kicked out of her Catholic church (not all Catholic churches do this, but some will not approve of one being married to a non-Catholic).

    How do I know if she is truly in love with me and it isn't because we had sex?
    Honestly, if you don't already know this, don't get married. While youth does not always mean things won't work out, I am concerned you are rushing into this for the wrong reasons. Marriage is not a big extended honeymoon. It takes partnership, compromise, commitment.

    It concerns me greatly you are giving up YOUR life for her, it is healthy to have friends and interests. It is beneficial to the relationship to have individual passions, it brings more to each other, and to yourself. Your happiness should not be dependent on the other person.

    Please go through pre-marital counselling before you exchange those vows...really understand the meaning of those vows before you voice them.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Scout's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    50
    Posts
    6,939
    Gender
    Female
    Pre-marital counseling is an excellent suggestion, and one many couples are doing these days before they get married. It provides a safe, focused environment to talk about the important issues you really must have decided before you marry, to minimize the surprise and resentment that might come with finding these things out later down the road.

    A healthy communication style is what will make or break any marriage. This is something else pre-marital counseling will teach you how to do.

    If you love her, I strongly suggest you make sure you two attend this kind of counseling. It's a priceless investment: determining the best roadmap for a loving, lasting marriage.

  4. #14
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    21
    I spoke to her today and mentioned this. She fine about it and said okay. Where can I find out about this stuff in my area? How much is it?

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member RayKay's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Middle of Canada
    Age
    40
    Posts
    12,868
    Gender
    Female
    Often you can find it through churches (but you would have to maybe find a non-denominational one, or a more lenient Catholic church), or general counsellors and therapists. Costs can range from totally free to based on income to costly. Look up marital counselling in the yellow pages - they often have pre-marital as well.

    I would call around to find something that works for you both If one of you does not like the counsellor, look for another. It is important you are both comfortable.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Scout's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    50
    Posts
    6,939
    Gender
    Female
    Whatever it costs, make room for it in your budget. It's a pretty important expenditure that could have everything to do with the success of your marriage.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •