Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: How do you earn back trust?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    108

    How do you earn back trust?

    Hi,

    I have been reading several threads on the forum about what to do when trust is broken in a relationship. From what I gather most people think that if you are the one who was hurt it is okay to be angry, and it is up to the other person to "earn/regain your trust."

    My question is, what does that entail exactly? How do you think someone goes about earning trust again? I ask because I am currently in that position and I wonder what opinons you all have on the subject. Has anyone ever hurt you and if so, what did they do to re-establish trust?

    Luckily, my boyfriend has not walked out on me but I know we are in a crucial stage and trust needs to be re-built again. (I did not cheat on him or bring another person into our relationship. I did however, overstep lines of privacy and respect).

    I certainly have apologized and acknowledge my actions but what now? To be blunt, he is pretty tired of hearing about it and the fact that I am sorry. I know actions speak louder than words but I am unclear as to how one "earns back trust."

  2. #2
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    32
    Posts
    6,290
    Gender
    Female
    It depends on how serious the offense was, if you didn't cheated nor any of that, then that trust should be earn back more easily.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    108
    Yes, I understand that depending on the circumstance it makes it harder or easier to earn trust back. But specifically, what does that involve? It is always spoken about in generalities: you have to earn trust back or you to re-gain or re-build the trust.

    Is it just simply a matter or time where your partner sees a change in you and can begin to feel comfortable again? Or are there specific things that can be done to re-build trust?

    Any personal examples out there? Advice?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    32
    Posts
    6,290
    Gender
    Female
    Well I dunno about relations, never been in one yet, but I'll try my best. Basically it involves lot of good commmunication skills and properly disputing your disagreements. It about getting along while and if there is a deeper issue, then that's why there is always couple therapy (sadly it does cost more money than your effort you're putting towards the relation). Hope this helps.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member SeaBisquit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Age
    38
    Posts
    1,134
    i think it means you need to prove yourself worthy of being trusted. in other words don't just say it prove it.

  7. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    108
    This is my question though, how do you prove it? Is it just a matter of being yourself and not screwing up again? Or do you think there are extra measures that can be taken?

  8. #7
    Member SeaBisquit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Age
    38
    Posts
    1,134
    man it's hard. especially if you did something quite bad. sometimes people think if you make a really bad mistake your going to do it again.

    so i guess you should explain what u did for us to help.

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    108
    Oh sorry, I thought I did in my first post. I basically misused the trust he had in me by being a snoop. I have fessed up to it, apologized and acknowledged it but understandbly he is angry and hesitant.

    I of course want to make it better, and I know that actins speak louder than words. I just dont know if it is merely a matter of time and being on my best behavior or if there is more I can do.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member RayKay's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Middle of Canada
    Age
    40
    Posts
    12,868
    Gender
    Female
    I really don't think there is MORE you can do then just show through your actions you were wrong, and not do it again, and be open to communicating about it if he asks, and not get angry if he sometimes questions you about it.

    Remember too though, it also has to be a matter of him choosing to re-trust on his end. If he is angry about it or something, and holding on to that, it won't matter how good you are!

    I do know saying sorry a thousand times after they have already accepted your apology won't do much but drive someone crazy!

  11. #10
    Member SeaBisquit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Age
    38
    Posts
    1,134
    if it helps i snooped thru my bf stuff in the past too. he was really upset with me at first but later he got over it.

    i just explained in deep detail why i did it. he knew i was insecure but told me i better never do that again.

    i didn't act insecure or untrusting of him after that. it mostly shows him that you don't trust in him. so you kinda have two things to work on.

    1. showing him you trust him not to snoop
    2. showing him that he can trust you

    it will take time. tell him you are very sorry but you can't take back what you did and that you know it was wrong. be sincere don't argue.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •