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Thread: When the wife ignores the husband

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    15
    Her only complaints about me are that I'm clingy to her, don't spend enough time with the kid, and a little stingy with money.

    Yet, I work full time, clean the house, do the yardwork, cook the meals, pick up the kid from school, shuffle him to karate class and whatnot, take care of the pets, and try to manage our budget so we don't rack up massive credit card debt
    I think this says it all. Either she is hard-wired to be selfish, or she has no interest in you.

    Personally I think you should get out now.

  2. #22
    a teacher and a gentleman,

    I am in the same type of situation as you are. I read this post and found myself compulsively nodding in agreement in various parts.

    I, too, am ignored. I have tried many times to explain to my wife how she makes me feel when she ignores me... Years ago - 8 of them now - she said she would try and change. (The word 'try' invariably winds up being followed with laborious nothings). She has not. I have done all I can. I can't do any more. I was a very compassionate, thoughtful and warm individual. I'm not so sure now, since she has drained the life from me. I have spent 8 years tipping good energy into an abyss...

    She goes into silent mode when I have feelings in general. When I feel the need to have attention (any would be nice), she invariably shirks me off. (Is that too much to ask? I feel guilty for wanting to be 'attended to').

    About 3 weeks ago, things were so bad, I threatened suicide. (It was an empty threat). I told her that after I put on my shoes, I was walking out and not coming back, and likely to do something rash. (Anyone in their normal mind would not stoop to such a low. Any partner in their normal mind wouldn't let their beloved walk out the door, either).

    She, in reply, merely wanted to know: "Do you want me to get you some socks to wear?"

    *HELLO?? Anyone home??*

    I'm at the point where I'm ready to tell her: "Well, that's it. Nice to have known you - except please do not take 'nice' literally, I was merely making conversation while packing these bags and boxes."

    Thing is... We have one child. At 7, she is most certainly unaware of the complex feelings, and feelings of rejection; feelings of grief; loneliness; fear... and whatever else involved. Nor should she be. Children make things difficult.

    It's just a mess, and I wish to the Lord that I had not fallen for this woman in the first place... I have wasted the best of my years in a relationship where I'm not truly wanted...

    The only solution is this. I've got to go. It's no use wasting more time and feeling more jaded to the point where I am snappy and emotionally empty, and can't be any sort of father to my daughter. My soon-to-be ex-wife - I owe her nothing. My daughter is another matter. It is better to move to sunnier pastures, (even bachelorhood would be much more gilded and intensely more refreshing!!) than become a lonely, snarling beast staying rooted in my current situation.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    2,017
    Practically speaking, at 9 years of marriage, you are at a critical moment if you are considering divorce.

    Why? a lot of places consider a marriage of 10 years or more to be a long-term marriage and treat how spousal support is allocated differently ---to the man's detriment-- than short-term marriages.

    Do not cross that 10-year line without being prepared.

    If you wuss out and finally divorce at 11 years of marriage you can be paying her spousal support until you die. whereas if you divorced prior to 10 years you might only pay a lesser period of time.
    Last edited by jimthzz; 06-04-2007 at 01:35 PM.

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