!I really want my girlfriend back but Do you think i messed up to much!!!

I MADE IT A LOT SHORTER PLEASE HELP ME !!!

I broke up with her a week and 2 days ago. It all started the night before when we got into a fight. At school the next day we started to fight and she told me to leave her alone. I did the opposite i followed her around trying to talk to her, but she kept telling me to leave her alone and she was getting more mad because i was following her.

When i went over there i told her i was going to get my things and leave. We had to do something for school that night and i was so upsett i broke up with her before that. We still went to the thing but she did no want to go because of what happened in school and now that i broke up with her it made it worse.

We are in love with each other. I also know that i love her cause i wouldn't tell her it if its not true because i do not mess with people's emotions like that. Before i broke up with her i saw her everyday 7 days a week... from the morning to late at night all the time. We used to do everything with each other and talked about everything. The day that we broke up she said some very mean things to me what i can expect but then she didn't seem to care.

She called and i started to beg her to go out with me and told her that i loved her and that i did not mean to break up with her. She said no and i asked if we ever would go back out and she told me that she does not know. Then we got off the phone and she was getting very upsett with me. I hung out wit her brother the next day and she called that night but i did not see her... I did the same thing and she seemed to get mad again. She did not call thursday and her grandmother just went into the hospital... I was talking to her online and she asked me if i needed help with this math project i said yes and i went over there for help. She did not really help me and she seemed very happy ... I was kinda of mad that she was happy because she wasn't showing her family that she was upsett that we broke up.

i got her to call me on friday . Again i asked her out and she seemed very mad giving me the same answer.... I asked her to call me when she woke and she did. Sunday she called me during the day to talk and she called me that night also to talk. But i did not ask her to go out with me that night knowing that she gets very upsett and annoyed. She called me monday and we talked for a couple of hours ... and i told her i loved her when i got off the phone and she said okay and hung up. Tuesday we did our thing after school adn i tried touching her hand and she told me not to touch her when we was helping the old people. We did not really talk on the ride up. Then we talked during the community service and even laughed a couple of times. After that i told her that i did not mean to break up with her and i was sorry and i did not want to loose her all she did was say yea.. I asked her why she did not want to talk about it and she said that she just doesn't.

When i went to drop her off she asked me to come in. I asked her if she was going to hang out with me she said that she had a lot of homework. She was laughing and talking to her family and was not talking to me. I was gettin mad so i was like i gotta go. She asked me why i was leaving . She called me that night and by seeing her i missed her so much and i wanted to be with her and i dont want to loose her. I asked her out again and she seemed to get upsett. Well that tuesday night that she called i asked her back out. She seemed to get very mad when i asked her out giving me the same answers. I asked do you even care that we are not together she said no... Then i was like you really dont care she told me she doesnt know. Then i asked her if we would ever get back together. She said that she doesnt know and stop asking her.... I gave her a card and a note that day saying how stupid i am for asking her out all the time and how much i miss her and care for her. That night was very bad on the phone... I asked her if she was going to call on wednessday march 29th she said that she didn't know and we gott of the phone .She did not call that night and she did not call 2nite... I havnt talked to her since that day on the phone or seen her since that day... She said that she has bigger problems do deal with and that me and her is at the botton of her list.... What should i do ... ? I still have to see her after school every tuesday tooo !!! should i say sry for asking her out all thoughs time's !!! and if so in a note, in person or on the phone !! Also i tell her that im going through a hard time in life and that i need her bad huh !!

ok here are the details to things that was asked for.... our fight was because she doesnt really get close to me ... if i move to sit with her on the couch she move's ...but i learned that it was only because when i try to give her a kiss like when i came in the door and she would move away i would be like you dont like me any more huh ... i messed up there ... so i told her fine i dont even want to hug you or kiss you any more .. and she didnt want to sleep with me for lent and said she regrets doing so... ummm i want her back and i dont know how to cause i think i * * * *ed up to bad !!! so tell me how to get out of this mess cause i cant deal with it any more and will she start to miss me cause she does know the guy that i was before the break up... !!!!!! ALSO do u think she will start to miss me if i leave her alone !!!!!

haha wow thats such a long post. Ok, If you really want her back then what you have to do is get her to remember what it felt like when she first started liking you. How were you back then? You have to take that same attitute and act that way now, dont be mean to her, dont be overly nice, dont try to resolve things and talk about your problems, it WONT WORK. Just be yourself, be happy and confident and she'll start liking you again, once she comes back to you you can work things out together.

I got about 1/4 through that and my eyes started to glaze over.

Please edit your post to add paragraphs. All that text so close to each other is just too hard to read. Also, I think you added way too many details we don't need from the little I read. Details can be good because they give a better understanding of the situation, but we don't need to hear every single last detail of the story. Just the important ones.

I Made It Shorter I Need Advice Please Just Help Me !!!

WOOWW if you made it shorter than I'm afraid of what it must have looked like originally... I'm reading it now... I'll probably be able to post by about noon tomorrow Just kidding

Alright. IMO you need to stop pursuing her so hard, and give her some space. Don't ask her back out everyday. Maybe mention it once every week or two, but don't get all crazy about it. It seems to me that she is just trying to punish you for breaking up with her, and it seems to me like she'll take you back... but that's not a sure thing.

Don't smother her asking her out all the time. Keep in contact but not CONSTANT contact. Don't beg.

Okay, here's my take on it. It's going to be a little harsh, but that's because you made some harsh choices as well. I'm not attacking you personally, so keep in mind that what I am saying is designed to make you think about what you did wrong - and how you should avoid the negative behaviors you demonstrated. I am going to be speaking towards this GOAL, so pay attention:

There are three (major) Male Traits the female responds to positively. You must have them, if the female is to fall, and stay in love with you. They are Confidence: made up of Self Confidence and Self Esteem; Control: made up of Discipline, Patience and Self Control; and Challenge

I MADE IT A LOT SHORTER PLEASE HELP ME !!!

When we are done here, feel free to post the rest of the details so we can give you better advice.

I broke up with her a week and 2 days ago. It all started the night before when we got into a fight.

A fight on your behalf suggests a lack of self-control. Mistake #1. You must always remain calm, cool, and collected. Plus, you need to tell us what the fight was about. Irregardless of what you THINK the fight was about, it was more likely that it was because you vioalted one of the three principles I mentioned above. Which was it? You tell me.

At school the next day we started to fight and she told me to leave her alone. I did the opposite i followed her around trying to talk to her, but she kept telling me to leave her alone and she was getting more mad because i was following her.

Yeah, you were *stalking* her like some crazy guy. Mistake #2. You disrespected her.

When i went over there i told her i was going to get my things and leave. We had to do something for school that night and i was so upsett i broke up with her before that. We still went to the thing but she did no want to go because of what happened in school and now that i broke up with her it made it worse.

Why'd you dump her? It's still not clear to me what happened.

We are in love with each other. I also know that i love her cause i wouldn't tell her it if its not true because i do not mess with people's emotions like that.

Um ... no. You totally dumped her and messed with her emotions in a BIG way. Telling her you love her means nothing compared to your actions. A man who loved a woman would not dump her, would not stalk her, would not get into a fight with her. Your actions *totally* give you away in a way that proves you do not really love her. You want her for some other reason, but love is not dumping her. Right?

So what am I saying?

I'm saying your actions need to MATCH your feelings. If you feel love for her, you need to act like it. You also need to temper your actions. You're all over - off the top with anger, and then (soon) below the bottom begging like a baby. Take DEEEEEP breath and get a grip. You need to act calm, cool, collected, mature, in control of yourself. You're acting like an overly emotional 8 year old, and it's the most unattractive thing to do. THink about it - if you walked up to her for the first time you ever met her and acted like this, would she ever speak to you again? No? Okay, point made. Let's move on.

Before i broke up with her i saw her everyday 7 days a week... from the morning to late at night all the time. We used to do everything with each other and talked about everything. The day that we broke up she said some very mean things to me what i can expect but then she didn't seem to care.

Again, what did you do to initiate this break up? I'm missing a lot of information and it's hard to give any advice without knowing what is going on.

She called and i started to beg

Stop. Begging is no longer an option for you. I want you to throw that concept out the window and never do it again. If you want a woman to be with you, you need to PROVE to her why, not beg. Begging is 100% guaranteed to drive a woman away, so if that is your goal ...

her to go out with me and told her that i loved her

But didn't show her with actions (read: don't buy her anything) and self-control. Did you flirt? Apologize? Take her out for a picnic in the park? What did you DO to prove it?

and that i did not mean to break up with her.

Um ... then why did you do it? To hurt her? Think about how she feels here, you're way too focused on yourself. You did something to her and have not even considered the fact that you slapped her in the face. She's smart, she's not having any of it.

She said no and i asked if we ever would go back out and she told me that she does not know. Then we got off the phone and she was getting very upsett with me.

So stop doing this over the phone, it's the losers way to deal with issues. Face to face, buddy.

I hung out wit her brother the next day and she called that night but i did not see her... I did the same thing and she seemed to get mad again.

So, let me get this right ... play along with me here ... you did something that pissed her off, and then you did it AGAIN thinking it would work? If something doesn't work, don't do it again. This is a simple concept. THINK about it. THINK. You made a mistake, you need to learn from it. Okay?

She did not call thursday and her grandmother just went into the hospital... I was talking to her online

Okay, stop talking to her online as well. This is a heated issue and online and phone is a great way to introduce misunderstandings. Face to face, buddy. Get her in PERSON.

and she asked me if i needed help with this math project i said yes and i went over there for help. She did not really help me and she seemed very happy ...

She friendzoned you. She asked if you needed something, and you acted desperate and kissed up to her. She's got you wrapped around her finger because you'll do anything. You are coming from a position of powerlessness and you still have not fixed things. She's moving on to wipe her emotions for you by making you a non-sexual person.

I was kinda of mad that she was happy because she wasn't showing her family that she was upsett that we broke up.

Yeah ... well, guess what? She's already moved on. And you needed to talk with her about things and rectify them in a calm, cool, collected, mature, kind, controlled manner. Matter of fact, take-charge kind of deal ... you needed to be the adult and deal with the problem. The *real* problem of how you screwed up, how you disrespected her, you lacked self control, and you acted like a spoiled brat. You need to learn your lesson quick and talk to her in a MATURE way (no beggin, crying, acting desperate, coming to her house to do math before you've dealt with issues) or she's going to get rid of you permanently by friendzoning you - like she is already trying to do.

i got her to call me on friday . Again i asked her out and she seemed very mad giving me the same answer....

What answer? No? Need more details here.... please.

Yeah, she's mad, she does NOT want to date a person who acts like a little boy, one who does not own up to his mistakes, one who disrespects her in a relationship. Who would? You are completely jumping over the issue of dealing with stuff, and trying to sleep with her again. Hello? There is a process to follow, and you are trying to take a shortcut. It won't work. You have to slow down, go back, deal with the real issues first. And don't expect to go on any dates with her in the next few weeks, either. You've got to PROVE to her you are not some out of control jerk. You need to prove to her you can be a gentleman, a kind and mature guy, not some starving out of control wild animal.

I asked her to call me when she woke and she did. Sunday she called me during the day to talk and she called me that night also to talk. But i did not ask her to go out with me that night knowing that she gets very upsett and annoyed.

BRAVO! Good move! You learned your lesson! That's a GREAT thing. This is what you need to focus on, you need to start THINKING more about everything that is going on.

But you need to understand that talking on the phone is friendzone... the more you talk on the phone, the further you are getting from being her boyfriend.

She called me monday and we talked for a couple of hours ... and i told her i loved her

BOOM. Bad move. You need to PROVE to her, SHOW her how you feel. Telling her you love her is a manipulation technique to try and get her to say it back to you. It was inappropriate and immature. Yes, you do care for her, but if you really loved her you'd do MORE than just tell her, right? No don't get me wrong, you can NOT be her slave, you cannot do whatever she says, you cannot kiss up to her. You have to be yourself. You have to be a flirt, though, lighten up, have fun, joke with her ... be whoever she loved back. Don't tell her how great you are ... BE how great you are.

Who are you? Are you being you?

when i got off the phone and she said okay and hung up.

Yup, see that did not work did it ... Okay, what was the lesson? Don't tell her you love her again. Okay, wrote that down? Good, let's move on.

Tuesday we did our thing after school adn i tried touching her hand and she told me not to touch her

Yeah, again you acted like you want to sleep with her. You are moving WAY too fast for her, and it's VERY clear. You're forcing yourself on her, like a dog trying to hump her leg. No one likes that. You need to flirt with her, joke with her, make her smile, be yourself ... and let HER come to you. Stop chasing her so hard. This is important, so read it again.

when we was helping the old people. We did not really talk on the ride up. Then we talked during the community service and even laughed a couple of times. After that i told her that i did not mean to break up with her and i was sorry and i did not want to loose her all she did was say yea.. I asked her why she did not want to talk about it and she said that she just doesn't.

Yeah, talking about it is BORING and DESPERATE. So ... what did you learn? Yeah, talking doesn't SHOW her how you feel for her. Getting her to laugh is a GOOD thing though ... can you do more of that? Yeah, that's the ticket.

When i went to drop her off she asked me to come in.

You should have said no. You need to back off POLITELY.

I asked her if she was going to hang out with me she said that she had a lot of homework.

So that was an excuse she gave you. It meant NO. So why'd you go in? So she could mis-treat you? Stop being her little whipping boy. I would have said "Hey, that sounds really fun ... NOT! ... I'm going to have to pass. I need to go, I'll catch you later." Flirt. Joke. Smile. Be polite.

She was laughing and talking to her family and was not talking to me. I was gettin mad so i was like i gotta go. She asked me why i was leaving . She called me that night and by seeing her i missed her so much and i wanted to be with her and i dont want to loose her. I asked her out again and she seemed to get upsett.

Ugh. You did not learn your lesson. Stop asking her out!

Well that tuesday night that she called i asked her back out. She seemed to get very mad when i asked her out giving me the same answers.

So what you are telling me here is that if you and I were talking, and you said I was ugly, and I punched you in the face, you'd do it again? And again? And again? You're being disrespectful and you are not learning your lessons. THINK. THINK THINK THINK. Use your brain. If something does not work ... don't do it!

I asked do you even care that we are not together she said no... Then i was like you really dont care she told me she doesnt know. Then i asked her if we would ever get back together. She said that she doesnt know and stop asking her....

Read: "Stop acting like my therapist." You're being boring and overbearing. How in the world did you ever get her to like you? By acting like a therapist? Not likely. What did you do? Start doing it again...

I gave her a card and a note that day saying how stupid i am for asking her out all the time and how much i miss her and care for her.

Don't ever give her a card like that again. I can't even go into the details because it will take so long, but suffice to say that it was a bad move. Cards are supposed to be HAPPY and FUN!

That night was very bad on the phone... I asked her if she was going to call on wednessday march 29th she said that she didn't know and we gott of the phone .She did not call that night and she did not call 2nite... I havnt talked to her since that day on the phone or seen her since that day... She said that she has bigger problems do deal with and that me and her is at the botton of her list.... What should i do ... ? I still have to see her after school every tuesday tooo !!! should i say sry for asking her out all thoughs time's !!!

No! Stop apologizing!

Also i tell her that im going through a hard time in life and that i need her bad huh !!

NO!

You need to stop acting like some pathetic baby that she has to take care of. It seems everything you do is making you a LIABILITY to her. You're acting like she's your mom and you're her kid. You want her to take care of you, and she doesn't want some grown-up baby. I don't blame her. You're acting like you can't be fun to be with.

No one wants to be around someone miserable. So knock it off.

SMILE.

FLIRT.

JOKE.

HAVE FUN.

BE KIND.

BE CALM, COOL, COLLECTED, MATURE, WISE, THINK.

Look, I can totally understand you are upset, and it really sucks. I know! But now is NOT the time to cry about this - if you cry about this you're going to lose her - like you are already well on the way.

This is so simple, and you know it ... she wants to be happy, so do that which makes her happy. What did you do to make her laugh? Do that. What made her mad? Don't do that ever again! Never!

All the answers are in what you said. Re-read your own post and look at what you said worked. Then do that. If something did not work, don't do anything REMOTELY like it.

Now go back and re-read that first quote I made. You need to start living up to that - it's the way to be an adult. You need to be less of the dog humping her leg and more of the flirt that has friends. You need to talk to her less on the phone and more in person. Start being "busy" when she calls. Don't answer the phone every time ... let it go to voice mail for once. Don't call her back right away. Relax. Watch a TV show first. Don't talk about depressing or boring topics. If you don't have anything to say ... end the call! And you should end the call first anyway. Just say "Hey, it's been fun, but I have to go. I'll catch you later." Don't tell her your feeeeeeeeeeelings, don't ask her on a date, don't act like her child. Act like the boyfriend who can make decisions, can be fun, is mature, etc.

Now, go back and tell us the details so we know why you broke up in the first place.

ok i added some details at the bottom but if u would like more just tell me !!

Poorboy, you may have been given this "heartache and confusion" in your path, so you might take this "OPPORTUNITY" to work on YOU. Please leave this girl alone, you are powerless over her and it seems like you might have some "self-control" issues as well, and that's okay, because now you can start to LOOK AT YOURSELF and start working on YOU.

You will get through this, but only with one baby step at a time, first things first, leave her alone for today, and think about yourself and how you might get a "healthier" attitude and some confidence in the fact that YOU may need to do some "growing up"... this is an important juncture in your life, this is the time when you see the fork in the road and you can either the choose the one road that will only take you in a "circle" or the road that "leads to a better you".

Try to "choose" the road to a better YOU, it will be the "harder" road to take at first but once you are on it, you will find "less bumps" and "better view", and you won't spend some much time glancing in the "rearview mirror" because that just caused us to "crash", look ahead, see what lies ahead once you start to "improve yourself" You are being blessed with this opportunity to make a

choice" to see yourself, leave this girl alone, that is the true mark of a man... this will show that YOU are strong, smart, confident and starting to become someone YOU can admire. And so will she.

Okay, some more details. My thoughts would be ...

ok here are the details to things that was asked for.... our fight was because she doesnt really get close to me ...

Okay, so that came from a place of your insecurity. Really, it may have been a sign of her low interest level. Rather than trying to get someone who doesn't like you to be more into you, you need to move on. If she were my girlfriend I'd get a new one.

if i move to sit with her on the couch she move's ...but i learned that it was only because when i try to give her a kiss like when i came in the door and she would move away i would be like you dont like me any more huh

Um, actions speak louder than words. If my GF didn't kiss me, I'd turn around and head right back out. And she wouldn't be my GF any more, either.

... i messed up there ... so i told her fine i dont even want to hug you or kiss you any more .. and she didnt want to sleep with me for lent and said she regrets doing so...

So you were just being mean? I don't blame her for pulling back. Sounds like you were a little rude. Did that get you anywhere? No, of course not. Don't be rude, my good man! YOu can be better than that. FLIRT instead.

ummm i want her back and i dont know how to cause i think i ****ed up to bad !!! so tell me how to get out of this mess cause i cant deal with it any more and will she start to miss me cause she does know the guy that i was before the break up... !!!!!! ALSO do u think she will start to miss me if i leave her alone !!!!!

You know what, I think you made too many mistakes to get her back. You can try, but you have to stay back. Stop chasing her, stop saying silly things, stop saying mean things. Just relax and be yourself. Realize that chasing her harder is like chasing a cat. Cats hate being chased, but if you pretend to ignore her she'll come over to you.

Well, maybe not in this case. Somehow I think you were too harsh on her and made too many mistakes. But on the bright side you'll be learning a lot of lessons here, right?

It's Friday, go out with some friends, have fun, and do NOT call her until Monday at the earliest.

I gotta add that being friendzoned adds a whole new level of complications, which I think it's not the best "place" to be. For one, he'll still have feelings for her, and it will confuse things. Most women, however, are easily able to cut off those feelings after a major snafu on his part. So in essense she'll be leading him on (or at least that is how he will interpret it.)

In addition, if you spend time with her, other single women may potentially see him with her - or talking about her - and think he is not single or not available in some way. So the perfect woman may come along and he'll be seen as "unavailable." Heck, he may not even notice the other women checking him out. You have to be single some times...

There are other reasons as well, but those are the two biggies.

Poorboy, please try to remember when someone advises "you've made too many mistakes" the ONLY way to really label them as "mistakes" is if you CHOOSE NOT TO LEARN FROM THEM, if you DO choose to learn from them, then they are not "mistakes" but "opportunities" for self improvement. Sometimes we have to have a "mirror" held up to us, and feel the pain of the revelations as to HOW we have CHOSEN to behave... and then and ONLY then do we have the OPPORTUNITY to change these bad patterns of behavior and believe me, if you start your "healing" by working on YOU, your ex will sense this eventually,

but you can NOT FAKE IT, it has to be a REAL change in your behavior, for YOURSELF first and then you and ONLY then can you start to build an honest, loving, wonderful relationship with anyome. For now see this and all it's heartache and regret as what it truly is, an OPPORTUNITY to become a better YOU. I know that might not seem very comforting for today, but it's REAL and HONEST and it will ONLY lead to better things, with or without your ex in your life, but only if YOU, CHOOSE to break the negative patterns you have and I believe you honestly WANT to do this.. that is a fantastic sign..... Pull yourself up, brush yourself off and know that you have some work to do on YOU.... best to you, blender

Oh my god!!! I read it all! Okay 1st of all stop trying so hard to get her back! STOP asking her to get back together, it sounds like that annoys her! It also sounds like she needs time to sort her head out and maybe she does have other things on her mind right now! She is still talking to you and thats a good thing at the rate of how annoying your being so i would say you are in with a chance but believe me you have to give her space!!! Dont call her or text, just talk to her and ask her how she is and normal friendly conversation on a day you see her in school! dont be calling into her house because you are not her boyfriend at the moment so stop living that life or she won't get a chance to miss you! Go out with your friends have fun..and keep bsuy to distract yourself! You need to give her time to miss you and she will miss you! It will take time and she will one day try to answer your question in her own time but by being there and asking her all time and annoying her you are pushing her further away and making it a longer journey for yourself! BE STRONG

Follow love it will flee, flee love it will follow thee!!!!

Follow love it will flee, flee love it will follow thee!!!!

One of Al Turtle's signs is "You will never get love by chasing a lizard." IMO, your line says much of the same, and is much more poetic.