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Thread: Is my Boyfriend still sexually attracted to me?

  1. #1
    sweetkisses
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    Unhappy Is my Boyfriend still sexually attracted to me?

    My BF and I have been dating for just about three years. We used to have a wonderful sex life but over the past few months we have only been having sex about once or twice a month. I am wondering if he is still sexually attracted to me or what the deal is? He said he has been stressed out but that has now gotten better but our sex life hasn't. I have talked to him already and he just says he has had a lot on his mind, yet I always maxim magazines and stuff in his bathroom that he looks at all the time.
    What do you guys think? Should I be worried, should I confront him? Or how should I because I already have and it caused a bit of an argument. I can be in a relationship with no or little sex, please help!


  2. #2
    Momene
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    Stress does reduce sex drive but it also falls off naturally when a couple have been together more than 6-12 months. Unfortunately, it doesn't always drop off at the same rate for both partners and sex drives go up and down over a long relationship. I wouldn't be worried as such but if you're frustrated, it will cause problems.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
    sweetkisses
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    is my husband still sexually attracted to me?

    I know that stress can be a huge factor in a man's sex drive but I'm just worried that it's me because he still looks at pornography and masturbates quite often. I really don't know what to do.

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    Hope75
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    Have you tried initiating sex with him?

    It's common for couples to get in a rut after they've been together for awile and sex can grow predictable and unexciting.

    How about suggesting the two of you have a "night in" where you have a bottle of wine and watch a porn flick together? It can really add some spice to the evening... or you could pick up a sexy nightie and surprise him with it, or make "coupons" , little handwritten notes that give him sexual favors of some kind to rev his mind and get him thinking of you in a sexual light again.

    What do you think?

  5. #5
    sweetkisses
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    is my husband still sexually attracted to me?

    I know he was stressed out so I didn't want to put more stress on him by thinking that he had to have sex with me (he thought it added to his stress) So I only initiated sex once since then and he turned me down saying he just wasn't in the mood. ever since I've been to scared to initiate anything in fear of rejection again. I thought I would just wait for him to approach me when he felt comfortable and he hasn't yet, and it's been almost three weeks since we last had sex. I don't know if I should try again, maybe he's thinking I don't want sex anymore. I don't know, I'm so confused on what to do. I think I will try initiating it one more time and if he says no then I'm done. We will have to talk because this is a serious issue for me.

  6. #6
    ravenfox
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    i dont know for me its stress relief usually the more work i have the more i need it. you should TALK to him - tell him how you feel - i am sure he would rather hear it and work on this with you than feel he lost you in retrospect.

  7. #7
    sweetkisses
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    is my husband still sexually attracted to me?

    That's what worries me is that most men see it as a stress reliefe, not something that adds to it. It bothers me that he sees us making love a "stress" in our relationship. I always try to please him when we have sex so I know it's not that he feels he has to please me all the time, I am going to talk to him right away.
    Thanks for all the advice so far. Do you think he is truly just stressed out or is there a larger problem I'm dealing with here?

  8. #8
    Momene
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetkisses
    That's what worries me is that most men see it as a stress reliefe, not something that adds to it. It bothers me that he sees us making love a "stress" in our relationship. I always try to please him when we have sex so I know it's not that he feels he has to please me all the time, I am going to talk to him right away.
    Thanks for all the advice so far. Do you think he is truly just stressed out or is there a larger problem I'm dealing with here?
    It could be indicative of a larger problem but stress itslef can be, well pretty stressful and all-consuming as I know from experience.

    Any chance of a holiday?

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    Hope75
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    With all due respect, how healthy do you think it is that you are in a relationship where you are afraid to talk to your partner about sex? Honey, part of a relationship is open communication, and being able to come out and talk with your partner about ANYTHING, including sex and why he isn't interested in it with you lately.

    There is definitely something to be said for approach, obviously if you attack him or come at him about it in an accusatory manner, you are not likely to get anywhere with him, and will only put him on the defense.

    Girl, you have needs, just like any red-blooded woman, and if your needs aren't being met in this relationship you have every right to ask him about it and in fact should, because as is you are unhappy, not getting what you need, and if he's not interested in sex with you, something isn't right on his end either.

  10. #10
    melrich
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    With all due respect, how healthy do you think it is that you are in a relationship where you are afraid to talk to your partner about sex?
    I agree. But you have to tread a fine line. It could be stress/anxiety is impacting his sex drive and your asking him what is wrong may just exacerbate the problem.

    I think you need to work out carefully how to approach it. I like the idea another poster said of trying something different. Do you know what he likes/dislikes? Try taking him out of his environment, a weekend away can do wonders and when doing that try and get out of what would be your normal sexual routine.

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