Phoenix_girl Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Is it possible for guys in like their mid to late 20s to go through an early midlife crisis? My ex and i stayed relatively close, but in like the past year or so ive seen signs of depression and he's been really moody. Does seem to take pleasure in anything, became really selfish and uncompromising. It's almost like he became the exact opposite of who he was. I've known him since he was 24 and he had wanted to be settled down by the time he was 26.....but as of now hes 27, still lives at home, has a crappy job that doesn't pay much, doesnt have a car of his own. he kept saying he needed to fix his life, clear his head etc. Is he having a mid-life crisis? will he return to his old self once he finds what hes looking for? ](*,) Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 I don't think it's a "mid-life crisis." I think that the 20s are just a time of huge personal growth. He probably won't be the person he was before, because he's going to grow and change, one way or another. Link to comment
Phoenix_girl Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 if hes changing its for the worse. he used to be full of life and happy and always laughing.....now everything is "meh' to him and he jsut doesnt seem to care anymore. and in Nov his brother apprently took quite ill so im worried about him....truth is i havent talked to him since the end of nov. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Well, he's your ex, so he's not your worry anymore. Link to comment
Phoenix_girl Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 He is [was] also my best friend. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 I know it's hard, but if you haven't talked since Nov, you don't really know what's going on through his head. You can't help him unless he really asks for your help. I'm sure he'll get through it. Most people I know in their 20s go through some kind of crisis or another..... Link to comment
keenan Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 I call it a quarter life crisis. Sometimes people go through growth spurts, for better or worse. My ex (and also best friend) is going through something similar, though the outer circumstances are different--fancy condo, amazing job, shopping for a porsche--but he's angry and depressed and selfish and completely uncompromising...a different person, nearly overnight. I don't understand it, either. Link to comment
Phoenix_girl Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 its hard. I went through my own little life crisis recently so i can kind of relate to him, but hes also very private about his feelings, so he would never come right out and say what he was feeling. i know i can't really help him, i just......i guess i just want to know if i'll ever get my best friend back Link to comment
chai714 Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 A mid-life crisis does not exist. There is no such thing. It's yet another attempt at trying to explain why a person is facing difficulties in their life. The real and simple answer is that the choices they make directly affect their lives. Unless you want to call common symptoms of aging such as balding, memory loss, lower metabolism a "mid-life crisis," then it otherwise does not exist. Link to comment
keenan Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 A mid-life crisis does not exist. There is no such thing. It's yet another attempt at trying to explain why a person is facing difficulties in their life. The real and simple answer is that the choices they make directly affect their lives. Unless you want to call common symptoms of aging such as balding, memory loss, lower metabolism a "mid-life crisis," then it otherwise does not exist. It seems to me that if guys in their 40s and 50s view this particular unpleasant constellation of events as a crisis, it's their prerogative. As a thirty year old, I wouldn't presume to take their label away from them, since it seems to serve as useful shorthand for the package deal that they get handed at roughly the same time. Link to comment
NJRon Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I went through the same thing... It's not the same thing as the "crisis", which tends to set in with men in their 40's and 50's.. when they have achieved things they set out to do but are still feeling unfufilled and, so, are left reaching out for something to fulfill them. (btw... women have their 'empty nest' thing too... so yeah... change is change ) The 20s thing is an onset of responsibility. The realization that the young you is gone and the (false) "realization" that all you have to look forward to is what you are doing right now. I went through a period where I spent money like crazy. I had a 6-figure job, yet lived paycheck to paycheck. It took a number of years to get out of that phase and realize that that isn't what life is about. It's basically a period where I looked at what I was doing right then and the thought came over me... this is the hole I have dug for myself, that I will wallow in for the rest of my life. I guess it is kind of scary and every guy reacts to it differently, if they even go through it. Link to comment
DN Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 A mid-life crisis does not exist. There is no such thing. It's yet another attempt at trying to explain why a person is facing difficulties in their life. The real and simple answer is that the choices they make directly affect their lives. Unless you want to call common symptoms of aging such as balding, memory loss, lower metabolism a "mid-life crisis," then it otherwise does not exist. I agree with this. Additionaly, it's too easy to dismiss sometimes serious troubles that people have as a 'mid-life' crisis, or similar terms. People can face problems at any stage of their lives, and it seems to me to minimise their problems as 'just a thing they they will get through the same as everybody else'. The high rate of suicide among young males, and the depression that people of all ages can go through, should not be so lightly diagnosed. Link to comment
melrich Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 but are still feeling unfufilled As far as I know, "mid life crisis" does not refer to a medical condition. It is just a term used to describe a state of mind that some men get (common enough that it is referenced as a mid life crisis) that equates to the quote above. Or another way I have heard it put is "Is that all there is?" I'm not sure you can say it doesn't exist. To my knowledge it exists in the same way that that feeling of "Where do I fit in this world" exists in adolescents and results in so much angst and ultimately suicide in that age group. It should definitely not be used as an excuse for anything and as far as I know is not medically diagnosed but simply refers to a mind set that is common in a certain age group of a certain gender and often manifests itself in certain behaviours. Link to comment
red10 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I think when people talk about having a "mid-life crisis" it's more of an expression....I even thought my ex was going thru one, but he's only just about to turn 30 - it's more of an expression: a panic, realizing you're not getting any younger, feeling like you're missing out, trying to fullfill those fantasies....whatever it is - that person is going thru some changes is all! it just so happens that most people will get that feeling a little bit older...and start to go thru that so called "crisis" only my opinion though Link to comment
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