Selfish...or is it me?

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year and a half. We found each either when neither of us were actually looking. We practically moved in together after several months of dating. For the most part things are usually good but when we fight they blow up. He has a problem with showing feelings and communicating.

Recently we decided that we were gonna try sleeping apart a lil more in order to go back to the dating phase which we felt we just skipped. This decision came after a big fight. Well since that conversation I began sleep at my parents house about 2 nights a week but I guess that's not enough.

Yesterday at work he went to do an interview. To make a long story short... The guy he interviewed was the guy his ex gf (of 4 years) cheated on him with. He called me after the interview to kinda say "it was ironic" and that the 2 were now in a relationship. I asked him if he was ok and if he wanted to talk about it as I know it can be hard to hear news like that. He swore up and down that he was ok and it didn't bother him. (He has trust issues: his past 2 gfs cheated on him, and the father left the mother for her best bf and at one point chose the gf over the sons)

He came back from work and things were just tense. To make things worse I was very tense as I was doing school work that was just not phrased correctly. (I work 2 jobs and go to school- I think its ok to sometimes show stress with a busy schedule) We went in the bedroom for a second and then things blew up. We started talking about the closet (yes silly but it happened). We used to share this room length closet and then all of a sudden he monopolized the whole thing. He gave me a dresser but that wasn't helpful for storing my shoes, bags, dresses, etc. He started blowing up screaming that I wasn't getting any part of the closet, he liked things the way they were. I felt that he was being spoiled and selfish over a stupid subject and walked away. Meanwhile, I am the one who maintains the apt and does all the cleaning and laundry. I may not be there 7 nights a week but I am there most of the time.

I dont know if I was asking for something I shouldn't but what is sharing a lil space with the one you love. Well he was supposed to help me get some work done and just stormed out the door to go wash his car. (My bf has a personality that is very selfish and spoiled. He thinks money controls happiness) When I tell him things should be 50/50 he blows up and says he will always get what he wants and when I ask what about what I want and compromising he goes if you don't like it then leave.

After that I went downstairs with the idea of going back to my parents. I stopped to talk to him and he said that he couldn't take living together. I said fine then why didn't you just talk about it and he had no answer. But again, the previous 2 months had been perfect until this fight so why the change in feeling? Is it possible to go from practically living together to not and still have a relationship? It kind of makes me feel as if he doesn't want me as much. In the beginning, I would try to stay away several nights a week and by 7 pm every night he would call to get me to come over and of course I did.

What makes this even more confusing is that the previous day we had gone out to a really nice dinner and shared a romantic night together.

I do trust him but fights like this make me wonder if I should. I trust him with my feelings and he is that quick to throw them in my face when he was the aggressive one in the beginning. I am sorry for rambling and dont know if this makes sense but I am very confused and sad. I want to believe that things will change as I know there is more to him than this. We discussed couples therapy and he said he would go and a month later still nothing. He tells me he doesn't need help. I dont know wether to stay and try to make things work or if they even can. I know at this point I feel very uncomfortable at the apt as it seems a familiar place is now unfamiliar. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.

I think you may want to re-evaluate your relationship with this guy and decide if you really want to make this work. This guy is treating you very badly, the way he talks to you and doesn't want to share his space. My bf is like yours, where he doesn't like to communicate his feelings and then all of a sudden it seems like he changed his mind out of nowhere, when really he's probably been thinking about it for awhile. This is something you need to adjust to, and if you can't then you shouldn't be together. My boyfriend and I are opposites in the communication department...i'm extroverted he's introverted. I just posted something about this:

The member, Scout, gave me very good advice, you should read that thread.

As for going from "practically" living together, to not living together...well my boyfriend and i lived together for 4 months after we were dating for 2 months (if it's any justification we knew eachother for 7 months before we started dating) But in January we couldn't afford to live where we were, so now we're both back with family and it's been hard, but we've made it. We'll be 8 months on the 15th of March and I couldn't be happier. We have our differences but we love eachother, and we've worked through them.

You need to figure out if you really want to be with this guy, if everything you're going through is really worth it, or if you should give it a break, or just flat out call it quits. After you figure out what YOU want, than you can have a serious talk with him, and even if he has no emotion and doesn't respond (like my bf), at least you can be satisfied, because you know what you want, and you'll be happy.

how confusing for you! my exbf used to wear his 'poker face' and it lead to huge rows b/c i'd have no idea something was bothering him; ditto the way he smashed up our r/shp at the end - i had no clue it was coming b/c he didn't say anything in the lead-up, so for me the 'break-up' came from out of nowhere and was all the more shocking b/c of it. all he had to do was talk to me

your bf is not playing fair with you at all - shame on him that you now feel so uncomfortable in the apartment!!! (PS why are you cleaning it if it's hi space as well????). if you can't get him to attend couples therapy, then you should bite the bullet and leave him. he sounds like my ex - passive-aggressive and it will only end in tears – YOURS – if you stay and nothing's resolved.

also, sounds like he's been taking you for granted BIG time. find someone who makes you feel valued - you can do better than this immature, rude boy. the fact that you feel so sad and confused speaks volumes. that's not love...