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how do you let a guy chase you?


teacup

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Trying to get a guy to chase you implies playing games. Not a good idea.

 

Making yourself look happy and confident without being arrogant, and being approachable is a prime way of attracting people which is an entirely different concept. Treating a guy as an equal and expecting to be treated as an equal also helps and trying to be chased is not part of that concept.

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sigh.......i am SO confused by this guy. i am 26. he is 37. we saw each other for about 5-6 dates back in november. i thought things were going well, though he seemed like he was getting a bit bored. then, he found out i went out with his friend for 2 dates at the same time (i made out with his friend too).....it was drama! he pushed me away and i went on vacation for a month and didnt see him.

 

i called him when i got back and he suggested going to coffee sometime. i said, how about a movie and he said okay. and later on i called him and we went to the movies. he was all over me though i dont think he just wants sex. i wasnt in the mood so i pushed him away. i am affectionate but he wasn't that responsive. but at the end of the night.....we gave a hug and kiss and he said talk to you soon.

 

but we didn't speak until i called him a week later.....and he said mabe we can see each other later on this week......and i said, oh i was thinking of waiting a little longer (because i am busy). i feel like i am always chasing him and he doesnt chase me.

 

but at least he always suggests doing something first when i call. (though why does he never state a specific date and time?) i kind of feel like we have an agreement that we're seeing each other.

 

i asked him before vacation that if he didnt want to see me anymore, he would tell me straight out right? and he said yes. i cannot read him at all. i cant tell if he likes me at all. i just think he must be so laidback and such a cool customer. either that or he has so much experience with women.......in his words, he "goes with the flow". i told him that i might like him and that i was scared and he said "don't be."

 

well, geez, i am confused.

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"sigh.......i am SO confused by this guy. i am 26. he is 37. we saw each other for about 5-6 dates back in november. i thought things were going well, though he seemed like he was getting a bit bored. then, he found out i went out with his friend for 2 dates at the same time (i made out with his friend too).....it was drama! he pushed me away and i went on vacation for a month and didnt see him."

 

Maybe he just doesn't want to get cheated on?

 

Hope this helps...

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i thought men like chasing women. i thought they want to do the chasing??

 

Depends on the man, and it depends on the woman.

 

Some men only like the chase aspect of a relationship.

 

Most men only "chase" when they see the woman as worth the chase.

 

Some people don't chase at all and come together quite naturally with someone else.

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well......he saw me again after vacation and we had a fun date. *sniff* i like him. i miss him.

 

I think you like him because YOU liked the chase.

 

If I was to pull up your posts from back then, they just talked about how "cheap he was" and how disinterested he seemed, and how he did not really have any goals........

 

Is he really what you want in a partner, or is he just someone whom will "do"?

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oh i dont want to marry him......no thanks. i like him but i have doubts about him. it is very confusing to me.......is it normal to like someone, yet see all their faults and have doubts about them?

 

i dont really want to jump into anything serious right away either.....how scary.

 

i would like to take it slow and get to know who he is. im just perplexed why he doesnt call but he suggests we do something when i call him.

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oh i dont want to marry him......no thanks. i like him but i have doubts about him. it is very confusing to me.......is it normal to like someone, yet see all their faults and have doubts about them?

 

Not so early in a relationship! And not the big ones you seemed to see...

 

Why force something that is not there?

 

I don't know, in my experience you are pretty sure when you are into someone...and initially at least not seeing all their faults...but you would see red flags if you were keeping your eyes open.

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do women confuse men as much as men confuse me???

 

sigh. to tell you the truth. i am so busy i dont even have time to date. sigh. so sad.

 

i dislike men who don't call. i dislike it when they dont put in a little effort. =(

 

If you're too busy to date...he's too inconsistent to date...you two are doomed. I've been there.

 

Both of you would have to make honest changes in behavior for this to have a chance.

 

Let me ask: Are you disillusioned with the concept of getting to know one more guy? Is it too much work? Too much risk? Keep meeting awful choices?

 

That's where I am! LOL!

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come to think of it........i dont think he is in the same socioeconomic level as me. it's weird because he went to college and has his undergrad degree. but he just seems to be beneath my social and economic level. is that strange??

 

well, i am seeing lots of blue eyed blond haired boys in my college classes. that helps a bit.

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Honey - you are selling yourself short.

 

Not only is he a drunk, loser, cheap alcoholic, but he's doesn't even chase you like mad! You deserve a guy that's excited to see you and talk to you always! And gets worried when he hasn't heard from you in a while. And calls you randomly to say hi. And does sweet things for you. And a dude who's SOBER!!!!

 

This man is so beneath you, and there are times, it seems to me, you are putting him up on a pedestal.

 

NO!

 

YOU are the prize!!! Stop treating him like he's the prize. Go meet some of those blonde haired boys in your classes!

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