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A question for the singles


Kevin T

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This obviously doesn't apply to anyone in a committed relationship, but only to those who are single (unattached) at the moment. How many people here enjoy being single? Who finds it to be a benefit and a blessing, instead of a curse? What are your reasons for this? Just curious and I'd like to hear people's responses. Thanks.

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Ok, being single, as I'm right now has it's advantage as well as it's disadvantages. The benefits is u don't have to worry about constantly contacting the person nor worrying about whose feelings ur gonna hurt, u can date around, talk to lots of people, no restriction, and be at ur own pace. The main disadvatage is that at some point u really need someone u can talk to about things u wouldn't tell anyone and tell them about ur personal problems.

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I've been single since...well, the beginning of time. It used to get me really down in the dumps. But now I'm almost 21. I can't say I'm happy living the single life, but I have learned to be content with it. It can get lonely sometimes, but you need to learn not to base your whole life around it. I recently joined a dance club at college...funny thing is I'm probably the last person any friends would expect to do this...Even I'm surprised, because I really had no interest in it either. But I made a New years resolution to get out and be more sociable, and what a great way to start. I've met lots of new people, and the girls seem to dig the guys who muster up the courage to try it by themselves. I'm even thinking about asking one of them out this weekend at our next gathering...we'll have to see how that one goes, I hope I have enough courage to do it.

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For the time being I enjoy being single, to an extent.

 

I look at others which swing in and out of relationships and their heartbreak, as I am usually the one that friends come to when they have problems because I listen to everything, thus I get an idea of the negative half. Most people around my age just aren't ready for commitment, and there are few (kudos to those that do though) that remain in happy relationships for over a year. Seems to be quite come and go while most are in the sex, drugs and alcohol live life hard phase and I'm not into any of that. Nonetheless, I have my freedom without an attachment to concern myself with other than my own work and education.

 

On the other hand, when people are in a successful happy relationship, I'm out on a group date with friends but I'm the one who is single, or get that general lonely feeling I do wish I was in a relationship and had someone myself, those few reasons plus many others that we all think of in a positive caring relationship.

 

It is a nice thought but all in all, I'll wait if thats what I need to do. I've been in prior relationships which left me with a sour taste so I know better than to rush into one which stability and time doesn't seem feasible.

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Although I'm not single now, I have to say the last six months leading to my current relationship, I was actually in a very good place. I was getting a lot done, professionally and in my personal interests. Was really getting to the point where I understood a relationship would enhance my life, but not be the sole focus of it. Perhaps that's why my current relationship is a very healthy and happy one. I don't view it as "rescuing" me from single life. I don't put pressure on the relationship by overloading it with all kinds of expectations to completely fulfill my life. I rely a great deal on myself for that, and I learned how to do that by being single for a very long time.

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I used to love being single. No strings, just going out having a laugh with mates etc.

I've never really had a really serious relationship but I tend to find whenever anything happens between me and a girl and it goes wrong (which it always seems to do) I get really bothered about being single for a while afterwards.

I'm like that now, I really liked the girl but it went wrong and now everywhere I look there are couples and I just want to be in a relationship with someone.

I don't tend to get that many girls so every time something gets messed up I see it as a chance less.

At the moment I just want a nice girl to come along and just kind of calm me down a bit. I've been feeling a bit rubbish about girls and stuff recently and have been drinking a bit more and going a bit wild at the weekends.

So to answer your question at the moment I'm not enjoying being single much and I just want a nice relationship.

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I've had a hard time since my first and only relationship with dealing being single. That's what I thought was the point of life find someone to be with stick to them and the rest of life doesn't matter. I loved my first love very much and it took me almost a year to realize how happy, truly happy I am with being me. I've learned that relationships inhance your life but should never be your life. There is a freedom of being your own person enjoying the different side of life then when your with someone. Plus I'm willing to be single forever if it means I can't find someone who really does it for me.

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Being single gives you the option of being selfish and think about yourself all the time, when I go out I can socialize without making anyone jealous, I can sleep on the side of the bed I choose (lol), you go wherever you want to go, you dont have to call home to say you are going to be late or going out with the guys after work, are just some advantages. However, sharing everyday with someone else far out weights all of those, I'd rather be committed than single.

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Being single.....Do I like being single? Not really, honestly. I wish I did. I have been in 3 serious relationships. When I became single, I would feel like was running around naked without my towel wrapped around me... completely uneasy, but free. Now, I am currently single and dating different people. I am comfortable in the sense that I am so swamped at work that I don't really have time to worry about it. At night when I am trying to fall asleep, I really do think about it. I am a teacher...this summer when I am off, I have GOT to get a part time job or something. I know when the free time comes I will get sad about it if I am not dating someone. I know that I need to get comfortable with being by myself...so that's my answer....being single and happy is being comfortable by yourself when no one is around!

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I'm single and I've never had a serious relationship. I love my friends to pieces, they're wonderful peolpe, but I really do envy their connections to their SO. I think the hardest thing about be single is the lonelyness, I've gone days with out talking to another soul. I'm in such a rut from the extent of my solitude that I'm afraid any relationship will make me either very clinging or very claustrophobic.

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as strange as this is going to sound, I enjoy the peace of being single more than I do the anxiety of dating someone. Maybe it's my cynicism, but none of my relationships have worked. So the bliss of a relationship is more in my head than reality.

When the dating is going well, I like being with someone better. But when I'm anxious, which is usually near the end when it all starts to fall apart, it's lonelier than when I'm single.

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Although I'm not single now, I have to say the last six months leading to my current relationship, I was actually in a very good place. I was getting a lot done, professionally and in my personal interests. Was really getting to the point where I understood a relationship would enhance my life, but not be the sole focus of it. Perhaps that's why my current relationship is a very healthy and happy one. I don't view it as "rescuing" me from single life. I don't put pressure on the relationship by overloading it with all kinds of expectations to completely fulfill my life. I rely a great deal on myself for that, and I learned how to do that by being single for a very long time.

This is pretty much how I feel my life is going too. I am so busy that I'm having a hard time squeezing in dates because I'm having fun meeting new people and playing some sports! And now I've just started dating someone... and he seems more available than me!! too funny. The guy I broke up with in Dec. had no time to date. Ick.

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I'm single and to be quite honest, I don't like it. I'd give anything to have someone that loved me...to wake up and look over in the morning and see them next to you. Knowing someone is there for you at the end of the day and having someone to share your life with is a big thing to me. If I was to lose everything but have someone I loved who loved me back, I'd be the happiest person alive.

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This obviously doesn't apply to anyone in a committed relationship, but only to those who are single (unattached) at the moment. How many people here enjoy being single? Who finds it to be a benefit and a blessing, instead of a curse? What are your reasons for this? Just curious and I'd like to hear people's responses. Thanks.

 

I like it for the time being.

 

Advantages: personal freedom to do what you wish, plenty of alone time (which I like even when in a relationship), lots of independence

 

Disadvantages: occasional loneliness, boredom associated with doing certain things alone, etc.

 

I think it's a very personal thing specific to the personality of each person, to be honest.

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I think you have to look at being single 2 ways:

 

1) Single but w/the benefits of dating and/or sleeping around w/different people and having fun

 

-or-

 

2) Single but shy and/or non-attractive and having to deal w/not dating/sleeping around and having fun. Basically being depressed.

 

If your fall into category 1 then there's nothing wrong w/being single b/c you're still involved in the dating game and the fun benefits that may come along with it. If you fall into category 2 (such as myself and others on this message forum) then being single SUCKS!!!!.

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lol wlfpack. I know that there's some sad truth to what you post, but I couldn't help but laugh at how you succinctly summed things up.

 

On the other hand, if you fall into category #2, you also have two options:

 

1) Continue to stay in your pain and refuse to change things.

 

2) Commit to making real change in your attitude and actions. Commit to getting out of this hole, and that doesn't necessarily mean "finding a mate." It means doing things for yourself that better you and make you love yourself more. Incidentally, that will likely lead to finding a partner who is attracted to your newly improved persona.

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I have been single most of my Adult life,some of the most miserable people I know are married or in a relationship.Kinda like a screen door with a bunch of flies waiting for the door to open.There are those that want in (relationship) and those that want out.I can honestly say that I do enjoy being single,I find a lot of freedom in doing what I want when I want and how I want with no accountability.It gets lonely some of the time, especially around holidays.But with 4 billion people in the world! it would be my choice to be lonely.

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i don't know, i'm a pretty together person, other than my currently messy apartment i'm looking at right now, and.... i am still single. i think i'm interesting, caring, attractive, yaddayaddayadda, but i'm so darn picky!!!

i don't like anyone!! and the only guys that get me are the ones that are bold enough and confident enough to ask me out even though i'm intimidating, which means, basically, it doesn't happen nearly frequently enough.

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