she says she loves me, how can I get her back?

I started drinking early sunday morning and quit early tuesday morning of this past week. Do I sound like an acoholic? I'm not, I just needed to relieve some stress and talking wasn't doing it. Stay strong bro, you're doing just fine.

lol no u don't man, I've eased my way thru my own problems with the use of controlled substances. Anything to take the edge off, you know?

She tried to call me yesterday on my way to work, didn't answer. Can't imagine what she would've wanted, we already talked about my visitation with the girls the day before. I know the whole NC routine is to help me move on, and it has a little, but I still can't help looking at it as my last real hope to make her think about me and miss me.

Don't worry about whether NC will change her mind or not. NC is for you. Don't try to play some sort of game with NC, it can backfire hard. Just keep doing what you need to do for you. You've been doing great.

Right on. NC can be used to get back someone, or to actually get them for the first time. However, it is extremely dangerous, it has as many chances of working as backfiring. And when it backfires, it aint pretty.

Right on. NC can be used to get back someone, or to actually get them for the first time. However, it is extremely dangerous, it has as many chances of working as backfiring. And when it backfires, it aint pretty.

Of course GREG, you have tried everything else, so why not?

True, Bill...I've made more progress with NC than anything else I've tried. She is still going out of her way to call me on a regular basis, she's asking me for gas money when it would be more practical and less akward to borrow it from the aunt she lives with; not to mention that the house key I took from her to give to my daughter "mysteriously" disappeared. My little girl had it clipped to the book bag her mother had packed their clothes in before she brought them this weekend. When she gave the bag back, the key was gone, when my daughter mentioned that it was missing, she said nothing.

She picked up the girls on saturday night, I carried the baby to the car, kissed her and said goodnight. When I turned to walk back into the house, she was standing there staring at me. I walked past her without meeting her eyes, she said simply "call me" and got into the car.

The key with NC is when it is working in your favor, you pick the right time to strike. Right now I think you are on her mind and she is curious to what is going on with you. Keep it up, keep working and going to school and keep moving on. I think she will make the first move to bring "us" back together. As for you calling her, make her call you. Oh yeah, How's GREG doing?

GREG is doing alright. Lost the internet at home until I can cough up $300 to get the bill caught up...not real pressed to do so at the moment. I have access at school and at friends' houses to get me by. Met another girl, supposed to call her again this week to go out, I may or may not...she's awful hot, but I'm awful busy and after the way things went with the last girl I went out with, I'm a little gun shy.

I also came to the conclusion that you have about calling her...I'm not doing it. Unless she gives me a specific reason, I have no desire to show my hand. I've been doing good emotionally and financially, I think she sees this.

I just want to express how much I hate myspace.

Myspace is alright, just wait until you start finding old friends on there.

Feeling a little weak right now, haven't spoken to or heard from her since saturday. Hoping to get the girls tomorrow evening, if she brings them and acts anything like she was on saturday, I may strike up a casual conversation to see where it leads.

Careful what you wish for...I got a casll from her yesterday which I went ahead and took because I'm trying to get the girls for Easter. Had a nice little conversation about the kids, my school and her new job that ended with her telling me not to be so hard to get a hold of, because she still wanted to be friends. She said she knew I was upset with her, I told her that I wasn't, that I just had been really busy, and that I missed having them around. She told me to just look at how well I was doing now, and that if it wasn't for her, I could've been doing "great things". I felt like this wasn't a productive area of discussion, so I went ahead and wrapped up the phone call.

Still wants to be "friends"? None of my other friends steal my house key, call numbers that I've called with their num,bers blocked or call me 20 times in a week. I don't know why she even brought up the whole "friend" thing, but I'm fairly certain she's not being honest.

It's time to revert back to NC again.

Agreed. The very next day, I picked up the baby from the sitter's after class and watched her until her mother got home from work. She called on her way to say she was coming to pick up the baby and asked if I wanted to practice driving later on that evening. I told her "probably not tonight" to which she replied "oh....um, okay". I told her I would see her in a bit.

When she arrived, I was dressed to go out...I think she noticed. I kissed the baby and saw her out the door. Her mother hesitated, asking when I would want to go driving. I told her that I would get my schedule from work on monday and that I would let her know...she replied, "ok, fine" and stormed off the porch. There was a time I would have followed and tried to appease...this day, I closed the door.

She called 10 minutes later, or halfway to her home. She wanted to know if I wanted to get the girls for a few days during our older daughter's spring break, I agreed. The next day, she called me at 7:30 am, this time I did not answer. Later when I called my daughter, she asked to speak to me. She asked if I wanted her to drop them off on sunday and pick them up on wednesday. I of course agreed.

I think I'm starting to get it. When she said what she said about wanting to be friends, she was in truth trying to feel me out to see if I had stopped calling because I no longer cared or was "busy" with someone else. Aside from telling her I still missed her, I gave her nothing. I don't think she wants me out of her life, I feel like maybe she was being truthful when she said she just needs some time, to see if I stick to the improvements I've made in my life. Now when she sees me, I'm quite literally in the best shape she's ever seen me in...both physically and financially. This is the man she wanted to be with, and her recent behavior feels, to me, like she's probing to see how available I'll be when and if she decides that there's something here worth salvaging.

Until that time, it's business as usual...work, school, kids, contact on my terms...at my convenience.

I couldn't have said it better myself Greg. Keep that control and keep us posted. I'm glad things are going your way, I'm on a downward spiral.

Sorry to hear that man, but I can relate. I keep making all these strides forward, but without her, forward is nowhere. Making good grades and money, been spending a little extra time with my daughters...things have never looked so good for me, yet I've still never been more miserable. I've got the coming friday off and my choice of 2 girls go out with, but neither of them is HER.

I know it probably constitutes a violation of NC, but I texted her last night. She and my daughter had worked it out so that they could spend one more night with me. When I got home from work and found out, I mulled it over for a minute, then texted her simply "Thank you." No response, none expected...she is very busy with her new job, and probably doesn't even know why I thanked her.

She was supposed to pick them up this morning after work, before I left for school...no call, no show. And as I was waiting, the reason she stole the housekey from my daughter dawned on me...it may not have been to snoop around the house while I'm not there, but because the fact that without the key, I have to be there when she drops them off or picks them up. Perhaps she still wants to see me, if my daughter has a key, there's no need for me to be there to lock or unlock the house...and no reason or chance for contact.

Picked them up friday morning, mentioned something out of nowhere about looking for a new place...I didn't reply. My daughter said later that she was quiet and perhaps a little bummed out on the ride home afterward. She called me twice while I was working the next day, I broke down and called her back. She was calling to ask if I could give my little girl some money for the movies...and thanked me for calling her back. Yesterday I fought off a relapse, had her name highlited on my cell phone contact list, but I didn't call.

I want to talk to her.

stay strong. Your doing just fine. Oh w t f ever, Greg when you think the time is right to bring "us" back up with her, then I say go for it. Life is short and life can suck if you don't go for the things you want. I wish the best for you and it has been a pleasure giving/recieving advice on this forum, but I dont think Im gonna be around anymore. Ill check in from time to time, but this is where I say goodbye.