Tell us your reasons to stay.

So many threads here list reasons to end it.

Obviously, people come here for a reason. They feel terrible and want to share their pain or find someone who might have a solution for them.

Anyone who has committed this final act can't tell us much at all.

I have a question:

When you are really at a low point and really close to the big exit. what keeps you from stepping into the void? Do thoughts of loved ones suffering in your absense, a curiosity about what tomorrow holds, or worries about the care of a pet or child keep you from comitting or considering this step?

If we could all list these very personal reasons, it might be of benefit for fellow suffers. After all, if this pain is so bad, wouldn't you want to help others by listing reasons to stay?

You may think this is stupid, so I'll start off with my reasons.

1. My elderly mother couldn't take it.

2. My niece who I believe loves me would be hurt badly.

3. I'm a nature-lover and it's never let me down. It's still good.

4. Maybe I can help someone else.

5. I haven't finished reading the great books on my list.

6. Laziness. Suicide is a lot of work to do plan in an ethical way that minimizes damage to innocent people.

7. I fear unintended consequences after I'm gone. I may have overlooked something or someone in my plan.

Well, that's all I can come up with without being repetitive.

How about you?

i don't want to give my ex the satisfaction of thinking i couldn't face life after him... that's the only thing that stops me at times. + the fear that i'd survive an attempt and end up braindead or crippled...

I haven't been at that point for a few years - long before my ex left me and totally unrelated to him. I ended up eventually seeking help when I realised I was suffering from quite severe clinical depression and after 18 months on Prozac (which I came off nearly two years ago) I have, thankfully, never got to that place again.

However, ALL that stopped me at that time from doing what you say was one thing - I wouldn't do it to my family. I didn't want to screw up the lives of my nephews or my Mum - all of whom would have been completely gutted.

Fear.

The fear of the awaiting unknown.

The fear of leaving things/people/the future behind.

The fear of not knowing whether things could work out, well.

1. The knowledge that my death would probably be used by my family as an excuse for their problems to get worse, since they refuse confront things and come together, they would inevitable split further apart. Hence, my death wouldn't help, it would just make things worse.

2. If I was dead, I couldn't make a difference on this world, no matter how small the difference is. I use my pain to help others, comfort them and let them know they aren't alone in their feelings. If I killed myself, I lose the chance to potentially help any number of people.

3. It's just not in my heart. Everything that I am is about life. It's about love. It's about reaching out to others. And its about encouraging others to see and experience all there is in life. To kill myself would be hypocritical. It would be selfish and seeking death, when I strive to be selfless and seek life.

1. It's one of the very few decisions you can make in a lifetime that you can never undo.

2. Remembering how previous times I felt as low, but somehow felt better again.

3. Not wishing to make family members suffer.

1. my cat. it's silly, but i love him to pieces. and he cries for me when i go downstairs for more than a few minutes. how could i just leave him? he's like my baby.

2. for now, my friends need me. how can i refuse to help those who can still be helped?

flimsy reasons, but for now they keep my plans on hold. if anything happens to my cat though, i doubt my friends will be reason enough to hold on. sometimes not even my cat seems like a good enough reason.

it may solve your problems - but for sure cause so much pain for people that love and care about you.

i am not suicidal, but every so often i get a thought like, what if i just drive into that tree, or what if i just take this whole bottle of pills, or what if i run out into the street when a car is coming....it's weird, i get scared of even thinking that i have had thoughts like that!

my ex just broke up with me, but there is so much more to life than him...he just added to my happiness, but i will find that again in time - it's just not worth it to end a life.

I do this..

Find somewhere quiet.

Think... *I wonder what the next person Im going to meet and seriously influence is doing right now?*

OR

*I wonder what the next person I love is doing now?* And I send them some loving feelings...if I died, I can never meet them.

I remember how I was suicidal in March, and met current awesome boyfriend in October. If I had killed myself in March...well. Ya know..

I cant figure out how to die quickly and painlessly,thats my only reason.

I struggle with suicidal feelings all the time, so I found this thread interesting, but I had nothing to input here, so I didn't post. But what AntiLove wrote really struck a chord with me. I just wanted to say thanks. What you wrote really means a lot to me, and just wanted to let you know.

*I wonder what the next person Im going to meet and seriously influence is doing right now?*

 

OR

 

*I wonder what the next person I love is doing now?*

1. I figure that i have only one opportunity to live, so i might as well make the most of it

2. I worry and fret over who will be unlucky enough to find my body

3. I am such a neat-freak that i cringe every time i think about leaving my body behind

4. I don't think i am able to do it now because my mum is mentally ill and the family would blame me for yet another upheavel

5. I have never found the love or relationship that i desire, yet that i am sure exists, so i stay to see what is around the corner

6. And sometimes, yes, just a general curiosity to see what is around the next corner. I also like some of the experiences in life, such as the feeling you get when you have had a good nights' sleep, being on the couch watching tv at night, and some of the other joys and sorrows associated with being in a physical body.

1. I'd miss my family and friends too much

2. I'd be afraid of what would happen to my soul

3. I live for my dreams, and live for love

4. I remember the good times in life, and that no matter how un-loved I feel, there is someone out there thinking about me who loves me.

Love. A real pure love that will last forever. I've never had it. Only known heartache. But its what I cling too. It will happen. One day.

3. It's just not in my heart. Everything that I am is about life. It's about love. It's about reaching out to others. And its about encouraging others to see and experience all there is in life. To kill myself would be hypocritical. It would be selfish and seeking death, when I strive to be selfless and seek life.

This is a good one, as is Darkblues

The fear of the awaiting unknown

Yep, i live for love. You never know what is around the next corner and i live for meeting that one special person who i know is made for me. That is, not to say that person has to be perfect, heck knows i'm not, but i just want that one! That one that i can experience a relationship with, and have children to.

Only known heartache.

Come on ShySoul, stop it with the heartache thing! You will have your time

Come on ShySoul, stop it with the heartache thing! You will have your time

YES Ma'am!

You're right. I wil have my time. Just going through a down period, but I'll come out stronger then ever. Can't keep a good person down and the ShySoul will not die.

Thank you mgirl. You put a smile on my face.

Not directly a reason, but..

The sensation of pleasure couldn't be felt without the sensation of pain, you wouldn't have anything to compare it with. The nerves in the body that feel pain also feel pleasure. As strange as this sounds I try to enjoy feeling pain, because even if it doesn't feel like it, eventually I will feel joy and happiness again. And the feeling of emotional pain itself can almost be enjoyed - feeling the release that crying and expressing the pain is freeing and beautiful.

Sorry to rant on

Blured, I get what you are saying. Opposites draw meaning and strength from each other. As horrible as the pain can be, going through it can help us appreciate the joy that much more. When you struggle to go on, and finally reach a point where those feelings don't bother you as much, the happiness you feel is indescribable. So bear through the pain and eventually, you'll end up in a better place.

The sheer sense of LIFE. Because no matter how bad things get and how low you feel, you can look around, look outside and realize you are surrounded by beauty. You are a piece to the intricate puzzle of life and all those trivial problems seem so insignificant when you just look up into the sky.

There is ALWAYS something more, there is never an end, and you make your beginnings.

For me, just the sense of knowing that I haven't discovered all I want to know about the world, about people, about myself. Life is so fragile and yet people are so powerful.

I know that no matter how bad it gets, it will get better. As the cliche goes: It's not the end of the world. Why would you want it to be? Live for second chances, live for those fleeting moments of happiness and bliss, the taste of chocolate, the sunset, the stars, a baby's laugh, a cat's purr.

Loneliness can be debilitating but the thirst for life conquers all.

1. Missing out on seeing my daughter grow up

2. My daughter growing up without a dad

3. Missing out on all the great conversation (good & bad) I will have with my wife in the future. There are a million other things to do with her aswell, so we'll just call #3 : My Wife

Simple: Tomorrow

If life really sucks today, what if tomorrow brought some surprise? What if I stumble on $100 bucks tomorrow? What if I meet that special someone tomorrow? What if that ever so elusive solution was found to one of my problems tomorrow? Today sucks, but tomorrow doesn't have to be. We all saw what today is, but we can't predict what's going to happen tomorrow, and if it is a great event, why miss out? And if it's bad, there's two days from now.

Plus I need to stick around and see the Raiders win the Superbowl.

Kyo, beautiful post. As the song says, the sun will come out tomarrow....

Though the Raiders aren't going to win the SuperBowl. Come on, not going to happen. Now the 49ers, they are poised to make a comeback and take everyone by storm.

Kyo, beautiful post. As the song says, the sun will come out tomarrow....

 

Though the Raiders aren't going to win the SuperBowl. Come on, not going to happen. Now the 49ers, they are poised to make a comeback and take everyone by storm.

Must be a Tropical Depression because by the time the 49ers win another superbowl, they'll be the 89ers... as in 2189. Let's face it, both Bay Area teams wreak.

Yes they do. And that goes for the Giants and Warriors as well. Thank god for the A's or it would really be depressing around here.