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Thread: Not sure if this is abuse, need help deciding whether to leave

  1. #81
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    He's gone as of yesterday. I finally lost it when he started talking about not having any money due to some bank errors in his accounts that he couldn't get them to straighten out. He was acting miserable and trying to get sympathy from me and went on and on about it for a week.

    I decided to check his bank account online since I have the password and he was right about one thing - he has no money. But it wasn't any bank error, it was mass purchases of online porn, porn on ebay, and porn from a local porn store in the past month. He spent an entire month's pay on porn. I bet he thought if he played the "no money" card I'd let him stay longer, but I was so mad I boxed up enough of his crummy clothes to last a week or so, threw the porn I could find inside and called his mom to see if she could get the box and then pick him up from work last night and she did. Shamefully (a little), I admit I threw a cat turd in the box too.

    I wrote him an email this morning and said he would have to make an appointment to get the rest of his sh*t and that I have friends who will be there when he does so don't try to start anything with me. My landlord can't get over to change the locks yet but he said my friend's husband can do it if I get the new locks so they're coming over tonight so he can put the new deadbolts on. I didn't sleep much last night because I heard every little sound but I propped up a glass jar of change on each doorknob so it would crash down and give me some warning if he tried to come in.

    I gotta say I feel relief. I'm going to take care of his snakes and rat until he can take them because I'm not heartless but I'm hoping he'll come get all his crap this weekend so I can clean everything that reminds me of him out of my house.

  2. #82
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
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    Good for you!
    Once in a while, someone on the forum really makes progress, but that poop garnish is ultra stylish.

  3. #83
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    As nasty as he can be he probably won't even notice.

  4. #84
    Member KweenofDenyl's Avatar
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    Congratulations!
    I, for one, am quite proud of you--for maintaining your style and wit and general fabulousness throughout the ordeal.
    And for just plain kickin' his sorry a_s_s to the curb!

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  6. #85
    Member Dannysgirl's Avatar
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    Well done!!!!! You have done brilliantly and shown tremendous strength and courage, good for you. What an absolute waste of extra breathing room for the rest of us this guy is you are well rid of him.

  7. #86
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    So far I haven't seen him around work, I think he's probably skipping out. My car is parked where I can see it from my office window and I've been watching it a lot although he'd be stupid to try anything here since we have security all over the place. Last night my locks got changed so I can sleep better. I turned off the ringer on my phone and turned off my cell and I didn't have any messages this morning. I don't want to talk to him, at all.

    Last night when my friend's husband was changing the locks he said he has a couple friends he could bring over when the ex is getting his stuff and he thinks I should go somewhere else and not be here at the time, and it's probably more sensible than being there when he mopes around or throws a fit. He will NOT be able to get around these guys, one of them used to be in amateur fighting competitions and the husband of my friend is built like a tank. I hope he comes this weekend because if he hasn't picked up at least his snakes by Tuesday or Wednesday I'll have to feed them

  8. #87
    Member Dannysgirl's Avatar
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    I would give him a time limit of how long you are willing to keep these animals before you take them down to the pet shop! A lot people when they are dumped tend to drag their feet about getting/giving back stuff because they think by doing that you will have time to reconsider your decision. Lets face it, he had a cushy little spot there with you and I don't think he's going to be in an hurry to get his stuff in the hope you'll cave and take him back.
    Send a quick email along the lines of 'you have until ...... to get your stuff and your pets, if they are not out of my house by then I will put them out in the road.
    If you think I'm joking try me.'
    That should get the message accross. I'm sure he'll be able to get his mother to help him move his stuff back to her place using her car so don't let him give you BS excuses. Alternatively you could always transport the stuff yourself in your car and dump it all on his mothers porch?

  9. #88
    Platinum Member Hope75's Avatar
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    Hey Girl!

    Great news! I am so proud for you and happy for you!

    I loved the touch of the cat turd in the box. I told my bf and he laughed and said it was payback for lying about the porn.

    Now you can have a housecleaning party this weekend and enjoy your space! I'm so glad you have his mom on you side.

    Will you keep the cat?

  10. #89
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    He won't let me keep the cat he got me as a present, I already know that for sure. I had a cat before we got together and I'll still have her. I would love to keep the other one. I'm afraid he'll neglect her but he'll take her just to spite me I'm sure. Right now I still have her and I guess I could say she's hiding when he comes to get her but he'd just come back later so I guess I have to let her go. I hope she scratches him.

  11. #90
    Platinum Member Hope75's Avatar
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    You could keep her at a friend's until he's got his stuff and gotten out. Tell hiim you don't know where she was and she's yours anyway.

    He gave her to you as a gift... he can't take her back now that you've broken up.

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