Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 277 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 2767

Thread: How to tell if a guy is gay.

  1. #1
    no_doubt
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    10
    Gender
    Male

    How to tell if a guy is gay.

    okay well i really like this guy at my school and soemtimes when he looks at me and/or touches me i get this feelin' he likes me too, but am just not sure, and as am not out to all my group of mates [my best mates know am bi] i don't want to ask until am sure or pretty sure he is gay. i know there is no 100% way to know unless you ask, but i would be very greatful if you could give me some tips and signs to look for. thanks

    - no doubt

  2. #2
    darkblue
    Platinum Member darkblue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Glasgow, Scotland.
    Posts
    4,528
    Gender
    Male
    Hi, and welcome to enotalone, neighbour!

    Dependant on how he acts around you - could be signs.
    Watch his body language, etc.

    Are you friends with him?
    Or his friend?

    Could you find out if he has had past girlfriends?
    You would have to do that subtly, so as not to show any deep interest in his love life - or you could be revealing your sexuality, which may increase difficulty for you.
    I know it shouldn't, as we are a modern society, which should accept people as they are - unconditionally.
    But unfortunately, it may.

  3. #3
    no_doubt
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    10
    Gender
    Male
    yea am his mate, but we are not close or anythin'. he hangs around at lunch and break. he's only ever had one girlfriend which lasted a week and that was way back in primmary school.which i don't understand because he is really good lookin'! he has done things to me which make me think he likes me more than just a friend plus when our eyes meet it feels like we're lookin' at each other forever. but is it just me? one of my best mates said he fancys me and a few other people have said it too, but that don't really help when am not 100% sure, ya know? i just wish i knew.

    - no doubt

  4. #4
    darkblue
    Platinum Member darkblue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Glasgow, Scotland.
    Posts
    4,528
    Gender
    Male
    You could arrange it so that it is just the two of you, one day.
    Then you could get a clearer picture of what his intentions are from how he acts around you.

    The fact that people are telling you he has interest in you sounds in your favour.

  5. 12-12-2005, 01:42 PM

  6. #5
    darkblue
    Platinum Member darkblue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Glasgow, Scotland.
    Posts
    4,528
    Gender
    Male
    I don't advise it.
    If he is straight - you may find that he informs people of you being bisexual, and you could face ridicule.

  7. #6
    Jinx
    Bronze Member Jinx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    612
    Gender
    Female
    Some key thoughts to keep in mind are how he acts around you.

    Most but not all men will keep some form of eye contact with another, as it relates on a subconscious level, but straight men don't hold it any longer than they have to unless there is a serious emphasis or issue which requires it.

    Typically holding eye contact beyond a regular level may be a sign of interest. This is one reason when strangers whom have no connection will look away when the topic is dead or eye contact is not needed as not to give improper signals, or they keep eye contact but as soon as the topic is over, its gone. Of course there are always complications, individuals whom are shy or submissive on a subconscious level will look away interest or not and rather not try.

    Eye contact at its very animal base is a sign of dominance or challenge to the other being, especially for men it seems.

    Another point but drastically less successful in reading is pupil dilation. You have to be in a more or less static lighting environment because pupils yes will change for moods but also for light and similar factors. I wish I had the study link and info but in general in this study:

    When straight men look at a woman whom catches their fancy, their pupils will dilate. When they look at a man or woman whom holds absolutely no interest or disturbs them, the pupils will constrict to some extent.

    Same difference as it applies to straight women and men of interest AND more importantly for us, to gay men and lesbians when they look at someone of the same sex whom is interesting. Yet like I say, have to be pretty stable here to read it well and mean something.

    Next, men have a different set of values with personal space than women. Most straight men will keep just as close as need be to hear one another, they usually keep more of what is considered a casual public or social distance. Rarely will they mingle as much into the Friendly and Intimate space unless they are entirely comfortable or for some reason need to be that close. Otherwise it is threatening and causes defensive behavior in response. Have you ever just noticed an elevator full of straight men? Good illustration.

    Secondly, most often when two individuals are interested in each other, they will with little thought start the action reflection. Which is, say one person is in a chair and the other is x distance away infront of the other, if you watch, while the conversation is going well and they're interested and/or relaxed, they will move forward. Repeat certain words and phrases. Move their hands similarly. I'm not saying every motion but they will to some extent. Watch a straight man and woman whom have an interest in one another and are discussing, you'll notice this...usually.

    Anyhow, no note. Not good if he is straight, I've heard more than once about horrible situations where men have became extremely defensive about their sexuality if they even think another man is gay and flirting, much less written out. I'd say look for the above key ideas before making a move of any depth. Just give yourself a nice layer of padding with his actions before making your own.

  8. #7
    no_doubt
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    10
    Gender
    Male
    Jinx thanks so much for that.

    thing is he is always the one makin 'the moves' like he has now twice on two diff ocations grabbed my as* while i was sittin' on this 'pole' thing. the first time i was caught off gard and jumbed off and got away from him, but the next time he did it i just let him keep his hand there and i turned to look at him and he was lookin' right into my eyes i felt kinda weird so i turrned around and he removed his hand. he also sometime touches my legs when am sittin on this 'pole' thing. he once even put his hands on my face and he was right up close as if to kiss me but a mate called out "what the fu*k" and i pulled back and he removed his hands and backed away. he's always doin things that do make me think yea he likes me but, when some days go by and he's not talked to me or done anythin' i think he don't but maybe thats my fault cuz am not so touchy feely as he is. this is drivin' me mad.

    he also normaly tries to site beside me and is always sayin' hi when he sees me but being me i just blank him. i don't mean to, it's just he confuses me so much. i don't know what he wants from me.

    - no doubt
    Last edited by no_doubt; 12-12-2005 at 02:35 PM.

  9. #8
    KIDD
    Bronze Member KIDD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Stone Mountain, Georgia
    Age
    30
    Posts
    450
    Gender
    Male
    Jinx had some very very GOOD advice!! I agree with her on the eye contact thing. I can always sorta tell who's attracted to me by the way they look at me. If their pupils dilate (meaning getting bigger), or their eyes get shiny & dreamy eyed.. those are good signs too.Staring I think is a big sign! People of the same sex don't usually stare at one another for a long time. I don't see a reason why they would stare at you other than they fancy you.However there isn't a 100% sure way to tell unless he just tells you for a fact!


    I think he's attracted to you. I say flirt with him back & see his response.

  10. #9
    FoxLocke
    Silver Member FoxLocke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Across 110th Street
    Age
    36
    Posts
    968
    Gender
    Male
    I'm still new at it, but I do believe that it is all in the eyes. The eyes are the mirror to the soul...
    But I get so nervous making eye contact with people for too long because I'm kinda shy...lol.
    When there are gay men that I am NOT attracted to then I don't make any eye contact.

  11. #10
    no_doubt
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    10
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Thakid001
    Jinx had some very very GOOD advice!! I agree with her on the eye contact thing. I can always sorta tell who's attracted to me by the way they look at me. If their pupils dilate (meaning getting bigger), or their eyes get shiny & dreamy eyed.. those are good signs too.Staring I think is a big sign! People of the same sex don't usually stare at one another for a long time. I don't see a reason why they would stare at you other than they fancy you.However there isn't a 100% sure way to tell unless he just tells you for a fact!


    I think he's attracted to you. I say flirt with him back & see his response.
    am gonna try flirtin' back dis week and see what happens, thanks for that

    - no doubt

  12.  

Page 1 of 277 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
found a house to buy near him, but he flipped out
background: we're engaged. We live 3 hours apart. I have the flexibility to move out where he lives. He's not out to his parents but he is
Ex split with me out of the blue
Ok so this may be a long post due to the fact im beyond heart broken. So me and my ex had been together 9 months, id never experienced love like
waited for too long and now she has a girlfriend. Confess feelings or move on?
Theres a girl who clearly showed she liked me, we kept in contact for quite long time but after that we didnt talk for about a year. I wanted to
Bisexual woman, first time girlfriend help???
I've known I was attracted to women my whole life but have only dated men. Any advice for my first time dating women or having a girlfriend or
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •