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Thread: Histrionic Personality Disorder -- Warning

  1. #11
    imsoconfuseandlost
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    Ok, thats a new disorder i just learn, histrionics are always there to seek attention, my younger has a disoder but i dunno wut it, it's a different one though, so im gonna post my thread about her.

  2. #12
    mdrenovations

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    I just broke up with someone that has histrionic personality disorder

    2 weeks ago I had my final breakup with a woman that I thought was the love of my life. We had been in a relationship for about 2 years, of which the last 14 months have been a major roller coaster.

    The relationship was fraught with disaster from the beginning. I worked with this person and had always found her attractive, and there was flirting and a friendship, however, she was married, so I stayed at a distance. She came to me one day at work and told me that her marriage was over and how mean this person was and that she was leaving him. I took her at her word, and thought that she was the victim in the situation, and that he was abusing her. We proceeded to go out to a bar and drink all night and then have sex at the end of the night. I felt pretty bad immediately, but she was the victim, right? So I forgave myself and made sure that she knew I was not interested in just hooking up, that I wanted to be with her, because I really did want to be with her. She was beautiful, funny, fun and I guess I felt like I was her knight in armor to save her and that we could have a great prosperous happy relationship together. She ended up formally leaving her husband about 3 months later, and we were free to be together and start our relationship.

    The relationship started off amazingly. I fell instantly in love, and thought that she did as well. We were inseperable, caring, thoughtful and just on top of the world. I thought that I had found my soulmate and that I was on track to have an amazing love. Our love life was great, we spent hours talking and making plans for the future. This lasted for about 3 months.

    Her husband began, or so she said, to pester her at work and try to win her back. She then went out with him and then basically began to use his presense as a mode to attain more attention and care from me. I was there for her, very supportive and tried to point out what we had, and how she needed to move on to be happy.

    She did tell me up front that she suffered from depression, as a result from a bad break up before. There were also previous suicide attempts. Her parents had neglected her when she was young, and her and her 3 siblings all had had very tough lives. Drugs were prevalent, one sister was a former crack addict, one brother was a cocaine addict with anger issues, and the other brother had never been able to hold a job and had major social-mal-adaptive issues, fathering multiple children with multiple women. My girlfriend had used cocaine and had a long list of men that she had been with, which of course was a turn off, but since I loved her so much, I got past it. I got past it until she started to always talk about those one night stnds or worse ex-boyfriends. I try to make a personal rule not to talk about ex's when I am with someone out of respect. Leave the past in the past. She still did it even after I told her it bothered me. But then of course I did not know that everything we had was really a lie anyway, as it turns out.

    There is such a long laundry list of things that she did to me that I cannot go through all of them here, but she is a textbook histrionic. She:

    -Flirted with everyone when we went out
    -suicide notions and threats
    -used alchohol to hide frustration and pain which would end up in dramatic scenes when we would go out
    -constantly needed attention because of drama
    -needed to be the center of attention and was miserable if not (caused a lot of tension within my family)
    -dressed provacatively
    -obsessed with her looks, weight, skin care products, ageing, vain
    -had nothing to substantively add to a converstion, very shallow
    -constantly interrupted people
    -always would hang all over friends, like during a poker game or visiting
    -very defensive, would not take advice, short temper, and lack of reason for behavior

    ....more to come, gotta get back to work

    My short term advice is to stay away from these type of people. I am actually getting my clothes from her house this weekend and dropping all of her stuff off from my house. The only option is a completely clean, no exceptions break

  3. #13
    may55
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    I know this is an old post, but very interesting.

    I am dating someone who's first and only serious girlfriend besides me had this disorder and I must say wow is there baggage. He really loved this woman, or at least tried but was so hurt by her that of course it ended. I think I am going ot show him this post, not now, but one day soon to realize he was not alone and that it is OK that he loved her.

    I had a long talk with him about her and was feeling horrible about how he would talk about her with me. But I understand now how much he really did try.

    She of course still tries to be in the picture, but I realize that if I keep my cool and not take it personally (and let him know what I need and feel) that this may eventually work out.

    I am starting to not be so threatened by his ex and am starting to feel a little bad for her. She just needs to be the center of it all so so so bad. She even joined my gym recently and asked the front desk when I typically go! Luckily I am friends with one of the front desk woman so she flagged me that someone was askign about me. She also shows up on group outings and walks around topless and makes out with men in front of me and my boyfriend. At first I was furious but now knowing this about her I feel a little bit better. Not much though.

    Good luck to all those who have dated someone like this. I feel bad for my boyfriend for going thru what he did. Just know that this kinda damage can last long beyond the relationship.

  4. #14
    sielo
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    you must be joking.....ummm yeah so If you do happen to have this disorder then you should be thrown away and because you are a 'threat'! please.

    I cant believe what Im reading. SO what happens if you are one of 'them' . I m appalled. Like "they" are not human beings or something, just get out if you meet one of them HA!..... come on!
    Last edited by sielo; 11-15-2006 at 01:46 AM.

  5. #15
    may55
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    Quote Originally Posted by fabulous [Register to see the link]
    you must be joking.....ummm yeah so If you do happen to have this disorder then you should be thrown away and because you are a 'threat'! please.

    I cant believe what Im reading. SO what happens if you are one of 'them' . I m appalled. Like "they" are not human beings or something, just get out if you meet one of them HA!..... come on!
    I apologize to the poster if they are offended, I do not think that was anyone's intention, including mine. Similarly to having a substance abuse problem, or a violence problem, it is very damaging to those that love that person. Note that all those who have shared their hurt actually loved these people and probably still do at least in some ways. People with HPD rarely have successful relationships because in the end they are their own worst enemies. Psychotherapy is key to getting help. Check out this link: link removed

  6. #16
    Simesangel

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    Histrionic sister-in-law

    I have a sister-in-law that I am almost positive has this disorder. She ALWAYS needs to be the center of attention. In every conversation she has a story that relates to it, that is more fantastic than the person that started the conversation - even if she has to make the story up, which she does, very often. She is always extremely animated - facial expressions, arms flying around, very loud. We have no idea what nationality she is because if it's St. Patricks day, she's Irish - If someone is talking about their trip to England, she's english - she also claims to have come from Africa and Poland, depending on the conversation. She always seems to have some extremly rare medical problem - she's claimed cancer (never once showed a sign), back problems (that only seem to appear when she needs some sympathy) and numerous other malady's. We catch her in lie's constantly - we don't call her on them most of the time because she goes crazy if you doubt anything she says!! She has also thrown her family into financial ruin because she likes to look like a "high roller". Spending money they don't have, on all kinds of stuff they don't need, but she feels it makes them look good. She tells her husband that she gets everything on clearance for $1 or whatever...and he believes her. She lost her business due to financial mismanagement - translation: she liked to spend the business money on lavish social functions to show off, instead of paying the bills, taxes, etc. Now she stays home and won't work because it would be beneath her to ever work for someone else. She made her husband quit one of the jobs he had because he only made $8. His other job is contruction which means he only works about half the year. This puts them in a bit of a pickle obviously. They have almost lost their home twice and have had their vehicle repossesed. She's threatened suicide several times. But when all is said and done, most of the time she acts like they don't have a care in the world, even though everyone know's how bad their situation is. This is obviously not normal behavior (and I haven't even given HALF of the crazy details of her behavior!) and in doing some research, I ran accross the histrionic personality disorder information and she seems to hit every description on the list!! She is tearing our family apart - anyone else dealing with a family member like this??

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