Interracial Friendships/Dating

So this guy I hooked up with once; I told him I didn't feel comfortable with how quickly we hooked up, he said he understood that he valued me as a friend, we hung out a couple of times in sort of weird circumstances, I got upset a couple of weeks ago because of a misunderstanding, but my impression was that he is not so much into the dating thing because he hasn't kissed me at all (but it's also possible it's his way of proving that he respects me, I dunno). Well, he is black, I'm white and I wrote him the following email. Are there any comments on it? Is it real weird or is it o.k. He isn't so much into email, so... I haven't got a response yet, not sure what he's thinking... I guess, that I feel apprehensive because I was so incredibly honest that I feel vulnerable... Also, something he mentioned is that things flow really well on the phone but in person we're sort of awkward around each other, I don't know if the racial issue has something to do with it, so I feel like I'm heading straight on something that is a really sensitive issue.

Some people are sensitive about race, and other people arent, its just going to depend on the person. If you guys can be friends then be friends maybe the issue of race wont really come up like it has for you in the past. You might end up having a conversation about race or you might not, cross that bridge when you come to it. As far as the whole white woman, black man dating thing that is probably the most common interracial dating pairs. There are always going to be ignorant people on both sides who are going to want to hate you for who you date or who is dating you but whats important is how the issue is delt with in your relationship.

This guy probably is being cautious b/c as you stated white women w/black men is really looked down upon in society especially from white males. Even in the past when I've gone out on the town w/a white female friend of mine I'd get looks and stares, walking to class w/her back in college I got looks and stares. I mean we weren't even dating but I guess people who walked by automatically assumed we were. Of course a lot of people don't even want interracial friendships between white women/black men.

You're friend is probably playing it safe b/c he doesn't feel like going through all the outside BS he'd face. I know w/me personally there were times when I almost didn't want to go hang out w/the girl I mentioned b/c I didn't feel like getting holes burned in my shirt from stares. Sad but true.

If I were him I would be kinda turned of by that email. Its way too intense. I mean you're not even really dating. IMO, stuff like that should be discussed when you're really dating someone. I think he hasn't talked about it, because he doesn't really care. Believe it or not, some ppl don't see race as a big factor in determining who they'll date or who'll they'll be friends with. I have friends of all races, and they are all unique in their own way. I don't expect for them to act a certain way, just because of the color of their skin.

It seems like you're the one who's not so comfortable dating someone of a different race. I just don't understand the need for such an intense conversation about dating interacially or how black men and white women dating is looked down on in America. If you need people to reassure you, that its okay to have an attraction to someone of a different race, you probably shouldn't be dating interacially.