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Thread: My boyfriend CAN'T communicate!

  1. #31
    Member Oh hay its Jai's Avatar
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    i am not even going to read what you wrote, not because i dont care, but because the answer is simple.

    break up with him.

  2. 12-19-2009, 04:09 AM

  3. #32
    Member Azilynn's Avatar
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    Sounds like my communication with my ex.......I'd say more but this is an older post.

  4. #33
    Platinum Member geekgirl4's Avatar
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    Did anybody ever manage to solve this?

  5. #34
    I know this post is from a long time ago, I just happened to stumble upon it looking for some advise on this same issue. I'm dealing with this with my current boyfriend who I've been dating for about 4 months. It's driving me absolutely crazy!! Anytime I bring anything up that I want to discuss that is of any significance, I'm always greeted with a "stop trying to start a fight" or "telling me to stop he doesn't want to talk about it" or even better "I'm blowing things out of proportion". I've explained till I'm blue in the face how important communication is in a relationship, he doesn't seem to care. I am a very communicative person, I can talk till the cows come home and am able to very easily express my feelings. I get that not everyone is like that and I don't expect everyone to be the same or have the same traits and characteristics, but I do think when you enter a relationship you do so with the understanding that things will come up that will require you to talk to each other and communicate like mature adults. Another thing he's good at is just shutting down completely, so if I happen to text him about something (I know text is not the most ideal way to discuss things, but given our schedules, etc. sometimes that's the only way), he'll not respond to me at all or it will be a very long time before he does respond and when he does the issue is never resolved because he pretty much responds defensively rather than just talking about the issue at hand, trying to resolve it and move on quickly. I'm seriously at my wits end of what to do. I do not agree with what a previous person mentioned about not pressuring him and letting him talk when he's ready, because in my case nothing would ever be discussed because he'd never be ready!! People in general can't get through life successfully without being able to communicate. It's not just in relationships, but in your everyday life when dealing with anyone you have to know how to communicate and not avoid it otherwise you'll have a difficult time even dealing with life in general outside of your relationship. We've gotten into some heated arguments before because of his lack of ability or willingness to communicate. I also wonder how much a person actual values the person or relationship if they are not willing to communicate to either better understand something or resolve issues. In my opinion if you really like / love the person you'll put in the effort to ensure you can add to the relationship and help it grow and if you can't communicate a relationship certainly won't/can't grow.

    So if anyone has had any success with coming up with any ways to make this easier I'd love to hear your success stories. As of now I'm batting zero and things are starting to become increasingly frustrating for me. I'd hate for this to be a deal breaker for our relationship, but I can't be with someone who can't communicate and who shuts down.

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  7. #35
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to ENA. It is probably a good idea for you to start your own thread, so that people can respond to your own questions. Most people would read the OP and respond to that and the thread is nine years old. It is better to start your own thread so as to get replies to your own specific problem. Thanks. (Thread closed).

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