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Thread: "Considering my age, I think it's justified."

  1. #21
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    Just wanted to throw in my two cents here.

    "Considering my age, I think it's justified." That's probably the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. The only thing that's justified in this situation is you turning your back on this classless person and never looking back.

    Will she come back to you? Anything is possible. I think the important thing here is for you to be prepared for anything. If she doesn't come back, you want to deal with the loss (really it isn't much considering the type of person she is) and move on. If she does come back, you want to be able to evaluate the situation carefully and decide what you are going to do. I will say this much: If this woman does come back to you, it better be crawling on her bare knees a few hundred miles.

  2. #22
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    Stop doubting yourself, BigBilly. I know that's easier said than done, but you did and are still doing the right thing. Let this girl go. As the person right now, she's not worth it. Nobody deserves to be told what she used as excuses.

    Now let me tell you about anger; there is a difference between anger and rage. Rage is the expression of anger through immature means (e.g. lashing out, repressive remarks, all that stuff). Anger (that is, the way men should utilize it) is more like cold fury. You have your guard up, you're not going to take any crap from anyone (ESPECIALLY her), and you're not willing to play second fiddle to anyone. I'm sure you can think of examples when I mean "cold fury." It is by far the BEST, most MATURE, way to express your anger.

    She WILL attempt to contact you, regardless of her new life. She's a woman; she won't forget the time she spent with you, even if she does think "it wasn't a big deal." Women have NO Idea what they want, and she wants to keep you still tied up while she makes her decision! Refer to above cold fury.

    Eating crow means she'll be forced to eat her words that she's saying right now (referring to how she "settled for you." Think about that. Do you REALLY believe it? NO!) I think a lot of males in these situations forget for a second that THEY'RE MEN! She does not deserve to see your sensitive side anymore! How many of you guys are sensitive to girls that you are NOT attracted to? Think about that! MEN tend to reserve that special side of them for their SIGNIFICANT OTHERS and no one else!

    Although I do love these forums and appreciate the help people give, sometimes I think gender appropriate responses work the best. It's hard to follow a female's advice telling me to release all those emotions and tears and to talk to all your friends about it. How many of you guys talk to your friends about your emotional problems? I might once or twice, but then I drop the subject. Everyone says men and women are different, and I think that should apply to the way advice is given as well. I don't know about you guys, but I just internalize that pain and redirect it for useful purposes. Now that the devastation pain is gone, I feel a thousand times stronger than before. Then again, maybe that's just me.

    - Fivek

  3. #23
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    Well, you helped me understand that I've got every right to be pissed off at her, I can see that now. I didn't deserve to get dumped like that ...and get fed some immature BS diatribe as a thanks for two years of my love and patience.

    The fact that I had to go to her livejournal to get any sort of reason, even a bogus one ... I guess I held all this anger in because, deep down, I wanted her back. Well, if she approaches me again and can't face what are very legitimate reasons to be angry ...then, the Hell with her anyways. Thanks for the advice, everyone.

  4. #24
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    Just wanted to give you guys a good laugh:

    A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a
    sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."

    Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord
    said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will
    grant you one wish."

    The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I
    want."

    The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the
    enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach
    the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do
    it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a
    little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would
    honor and glorify me."


    The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I
    wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside,what
    they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what
    they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."

    The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"

  5.  

  6. #25
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    Too right there.

    Man, it's tough. She was everything I wanted in a woman ...well, minus the conceit and immaturity. But, it's not up to me, so now I gotta go see what else is out there. I've got this date on friday with another girl ...she's gorgeous, but we don't have a whole lot in common, it seems.

    Oh well, we'll see what happens.

  7. #26
    Bronze Member shorty20's Avatar
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    I kind of came in on this a little late, but thought I'd give my input anyways. For the past 3 years I believed that I was scared of committment. I dated the same guy for 3.5 years, all throughout highschool, and when we broke up midway through senior year, I was so lost. After I recovered, I never wanted to feel like that again, so I never really let myself get too close to a guy. I didn't want to waste another 3.5 years of my life on someone who wasn't going to work out. The thing is, I wasn't afraid of committment... I was afraid of committing to the wrong person... I realised this when I met the guy I'm dating now. When we first started talking, I warned him about my problem... as soon as I start getting close, I bolt. I told him to go as slow as possible and just get to know me, but the more we hung out, the more comfortable I got, and the fear of committment just faded away. I don't think there is such a thing as a fear of committment... it's just something people say alot. I think it's more of committment to the wrong thing. I know for a fact, that if you're sure that you want to be with someone, there are no fears at all as to what is going to happen, if it will work out, if the relationship will last...etc... because even if it dosen't last forever, the time you get will be worth it. Anywayz, thats my input. She seems to young and immature for you. As far as dating guys that she dosen't get close to, she probably just isn't that into them. After my relationship ended in highschool, I went on several meaningless dates with several meaningless guys just to get my mind off of my ex... to try adn get over him... maybe thats what she's doing?

  8. #27
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    I'm glad that you are going out with other women, because it will help you to take your mind off this loser. I hope that goes well. Talk to her alot. See what you both may have in common. You'll have a good time, I'm sure.

  9. #28
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    Dating other people to explore what's out there is cool. However, I don't at all like the idea of going on "meaningless dates with other guys" just to get your mind off someone. It basically sounds like someone is getting used to improve another's emotional well-being. That's not right at all, in my opinion. You should take care of yourself by yourself and then date when you are ready in light of the risk that someone could be hurt.

    This is a pet-peeve of mine because I once dated a girl who did this to me. Because I was immature, young, and stupid, I allowed this to go on for 3 years. Looking back, I realize that our entire relationship was just one long "rebound" for this girl. She just used to me for sex and to get over and get back at an ex who cheated on her and dumped her. Everything that we did she had to tell this guy. I can remember a time (this really pissed me off) where we were eating pizza in my dorm, and she had the nerve to call up her ex from MY PHONE, let him know what was going on, and ask him about other girls he was seeing. Eventually, I got to the point where I said HIM or ME - make a choice get the hell out. I never heard his name again. I gave her a very hard time, and demanded respect if she wanted to be in a relationship with me. Eventually, she bailed out because she found someone else more interesting who didn't put up a fight like me. Last I heard about her, she's been in and out of mostly shallow relationships just for sex.

    It is NOT ok to roll over on people for your own selfish purposes. That's my point. If you have a problem, you fix it yourself and then you go out looking for someone.

  10. #29
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    Very right, PhillyGuy. I'm unsure about this new girl, but hey ...a few dates might be fun anyways. The nice thing about being a little more experienced is that you stop falling in love with people by the second date. She's a nice, interesting girl with a good sense of humor, so at the very least I might make a new friend. Even if we don't really become serious.

    And thanks for the input, shorty20. For my ex, I don't know if was fear of the wrong thing, or just wanting to "see what else is out there". From what she told me, it sounded more like the latter. We really had no reason to break up; we got along great, complimented each other nicely, liked a lot of the same things. Then she got to college, and *bam*, suddenly there's all the problems.

    Whatever.

    I have no idea if she's just jumping onto the dating scene to try and get over me. I'm not going to read her livejournal anymore, so my insight is pretty limited.

  11. #30
    Bronze Member shorty20's Avatar
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    NewPhillyGuy:

    I know it wasn't the right thing to do, and I probably could have stated it better. Meaningless dates with meaningless guys sounds harsh... I didn't however string anyone along for three years, nor did I ever give them the impression that it would be a long term thing... they were just that.... dates.... so although I don't condone my behavior after our breakup, and I'm not saying it's right, I simply put that out there as to what his ex may be doing... thats all...

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