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Thread: My boyfriend blames me for ALL our problems

  1. #1
    needhelp
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    My boyfriend blames me for ALL our problems

    My boyfriend of the past year has blamed me for everything going wrong in our relationship. He is very verbally abusive and has threatened me so much that my mum had to call the cops and put an AVO out on him. I still love him, and after all this happened he was so lovely and sorry. A week later he was swearing and cursing me again telling me everything happened because i am the one at fault. He has told his whole family our private life and keeps saying he has done nothing wrong and he is crazy beacuse i made him this way. He hates me seeing my friends, hates me having my say. He calls me a liar and worse( dont want to swear on this site) I just dont understand why i still love him after all he has put me and my family through. At the end of it all he is so adiment that it is my fault i often wonder if maybe it is. Confused....

  2. #2
    dzadze
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    he has problems

    That guy has problems, and you shouldn't talk to him, calling the police was great.

    It seems like that guy has alot of personal life problems, with no friends to turn too... YOu are the only friend he has , or at least he thinks you're his friend thats why he's doing this.

    He's a looser

  3. #3
    needhelp
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    thank you..god he just called me and asked me to the movies after yelling at me all morning..is this normal? i feel like i am losing me mind.

  4. #4
    skyjuice
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    Hi

    I think your guy have some communication problem.
    He does not know how to communicate well. When he feel awkward and uncomfortable he would resort to yelling, swear, abusive and etc.

  5. #5
    hardcharger
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    drop that loser, you deserve better.

  6. #6
    kellbell
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    Doesn't matter if he has not laid a hand on you, verbal abuse is just as wrong! Any type of abuse is inexusable and you need to cut this man out of your life for good. He has some serious issues and needs help. Only he can help himself, don't try to help him by "sticking by him through thick and thin." The relationship is too one-sided. The reason why he calls you to go out to the movies is because he thinks he is safe and in that comfort zone, like he can treat you any way he wants. As long as you let him get away with this, it is going to continue. Try to keep yourself busy with other things and surround yourself with friends and family. Al the best to you and take care.

  7. #7
    RayKay
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    He is emotionally and verbally abusive from everything you have just described.

    Blaming you for everything, never taking responsibility for his part in the relationship conflicts, yelling at you, not letting you see friends, calling you names and not even letting you have your own opinion....those are ALL traits of someone whom is on the road to trying to gain full control of your emotional healthy and life itself.

    Do NOT stay around with this guy, at all. You are not going to be the one whom can change him, he will not suddenly realize how great you are and worthy of being treated, because he can only change himself...and right now, that is not happening. He is taking you down with him.

    You are not in love with HIM, you are in love with what you HOPED he would be. He keeps you on this vicious cycle of highs and lows, and you are addicted to the "highs" now...but this is not a normal, healthy, loving relationship in the least bit.

    Leave him, NOW, and take very special precautions...get a restraining order, stay with family & friends for a while, whatever you need to do to stay safe.

  8. #8
    needhelp
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    Thank you Ray Kay. its so hard to leave but you have hit the nail on the head. What you have said is the truth its like you know the situation. I just hope i have the strength to go...he has drained me of everything even my strength.

  9. #9
    Mamasita
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    Weeeellll girlfriend... u know most of how i feel about ur situation hehe and thanks for de ummm... intro to this forum - looks intwesting

    Anyway i dont think he is going to change at all, and ur such a beautiful person that he dosnt deserve u, or to interfere with ur life as badly as he does... he knows this himself. i know its hard but u have to be strong and be there for him as a FRIEND, of course u have too good a heart to walk away from someone u care about so much. but he has too many problems, and how much more do u owe him when u have already given so much?

    I think its been about HIM for far too long, now u need to start doing things for urself, get ur life back, get urself back to the way u always were before he started interfering with ur life and controlling & manipulating u. It was NEVER ur fault, nothing u could have ever done in the past would have changed the outcome of everything that has happened, i hope one day u realise its just the way he is and never the way u were with him. if anything u were the only good thing he had in his life, he knows this but he still couldnt stop himself from destroying u too.

    I know its hard for u to turn away because u have such a beautiful soul but u have to be strong, because u have already given him too much

    xoxPootie Tang

  10. #10
    darkblue
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    It's not a case of finding the stregnth to leave the situation.
    You would be wasting more 'stregnth' with staying.

    Get out - before he gets worse.

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