Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: My boyfriend blames me for ALL our problems

  1. #1
    needhelp
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Sydney Australia
    Age
    38
    Posts
    33

    My boyfriend blames me for ALL our problems

    My boyfriend of the past year has blamed me for everything going wrong in our relationship. He is very verbally abusive and has threatened me so much that my mum had to call the cops and put an AVO out on him. I still love him, and after all this happened he was so lovely and sorry. A week later he was swearing and cursing me again telling me everything happened because i am the one at fault. He has told his whole family our private life and keeps saying he has done nothing wrong and he is crazy beacuse i made him this way. He hates me seeing my friends, hates me having my say. He calls me a liar and worse( dont want to swear on this site) I just dont understand why i still love him after all he has put me and my family through. At the end of it all he is so adiment that it is my fault i often wonder if maybe it is. Confused....

  2. #2
    dzadze
    Member dzadze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    73

    he has problems

    That guy has problems, and you shouldn't talk to him, calling the police was great.

    It seems like that guy has alot of personal life problems, with no friends to turn too... YOu are the only friend he has , or at least he thinks you're his friend thats why he's doing this.

    He's a looser

  3. #3
    needhelp
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Sydney Australia
    Age
    38
    Posts
    33
    thank you..god he just called me and asked me to the movies after yelling at me all morning..is this normal? i feel like i am losing me mind.

  4. #4
    skyjuice
    Bronze Member skyjuice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    1,150
    Hi

    I think your guy have some communication problem.
    He does not know how to communicate well. When he feel awkward and uncomfortable he would resort to yelling, swear, abusive and etc.

  5. #5
    hardcharger
    Member hardcharger's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    245
    Gender
    Male
    drop that loser, you deserve better.

  6. #6
    kellbell
    Platinum Member kellbell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    40
    Posts
    4,231
    Gender
    Female
    Doesn't matter if he has not laid a hand on you, verbal abuse is just as wrong! Any type of abuse is inexusable and you need to cut this man out of your life for good. He has some serious issues and needs help. Only he can help himself, don't try to help him by "sticking by him through thick and thin." The relationship is too one-sided. The reason why he calls you to go out to the movies is because he thinks he is safe and in that comfort zone, like he can treat you any way he wants. As long as you let him get away with this, it is going to continue. Try to keep yourself busy with other things and surround yourself with friends and family. Al the best to you and take care.

  7. #7
    RayKay
    Platinum Member RayKay's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Middle of Canada
    Age
    37
    Posts
    12,897
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    He is emotionally and verbally abusive from everything you have just described.

    Blaming you for everything, never taking responsibility for his part in the relationship conflicts, yelling at you, not letting you see friends, calling you names and not even letting you have your own opinion....those are ALL traits of someone whom is on the road to trying to gain full control of your emotional healthy and life itself.

    Do NOT stay around with this guy, at all. You are not going to be the one whom can change him, he will not suddenly realize how great you are and worthy of being treated, because he can only change himself...and right now, that is not happening. He is taking you down with him.

    You are not in love with HIM, you are in love with what you HOPED he would be. He keeps you on this vicious cycle of highs and lows, and you are addicted to the "highs" now...but this is not a normal, healthy, loving relationship in the least bit.

    Leave him, NOW, and take very special precautions...get a restraining order, stay with family & friends for a while, whatever you need to do to stay safe.

  8. #8
    needhelp
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Sydney Australia
    Age
    38
    Posts
    33
    Thank you Ray Kay. its so hard to leave but you have hit the nail on the head. What you have said is the truth its like you know the situation. I just hope i have the strength to go...he has drained me of everything even my strength.

  9. #9
    Mamasita
    Member Mamasita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    86
    Gender
    Female
    Weeeellll girlfriend... u know most of how i feel about ur situation hehe and thanks for de ummm... intro to this forum - looks intwesting

    Anyway i dont think he is going to change at all, and ur such a beautiful person that he dosnt deserve u, or to interfere with ur life as badly as he does... he knows this himself. i know its hard but u have to be strong and be there for him as a FRIEND, of course u have too good a heart to walk away from someone u care about so much. but he has too many problems, and how much more do u owe him when u have already given so much?

    I think its been about HIM for far too long, now u need to start doing things for urself, get ur life back, get urself back to the way u always were before he started interfering with ur life and controlling & manipulating u. It was NEVER ur fault, nothing u could have ever done in the past would have changed the outcome of everything that has happened, i hope one day u realise its just the way he is and never the way u were with him. if anything u were the only good thing he had in his life, he knows this but he still couldnt stop himself from destroying u too.

    I know its hard for u to turn away because u have such a beautiful soul but u have to be strong, because u have already given him too much

    xoxPootie Tang

  10. #10
    darkblue
    Platinum Member darkblue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Glasgow, Scotland.
    Posts
    4,528
    Gender
    Male
    It's not a case of finding the stregnth to leave the situation.
    You would be wasting more 'stregnth' with staying.

    Get out - before he gets worse.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
How do you turn down an ex, without looking bad?
Over the years, Iíve had exes get in contact long after we broke up, wanting to meet up for dinner or drinks, even though Iíd moved on long
Do I still have a chance with my ex?
so I and my boyfriend broke up more than a month ago, he said I liked him too much and he didnít like me as much as I did, he said he liked me still
Tough choices
About a week ago, I made the decision to leave my boyfriend of a year and a half after meeting someone else. After we discussed the reasons why and
Random text from ex
Just a quick question. My ex has been texting me more lately in a friendly way. Small chat really. Becoming more often. She's in a relationship
Bringing up the past.. why?
Lately my ex has been texting me thanking me for this I did for her back in the Summer sending pics of stuff I bought. she thanked me for a journal I
No Contact
Trying to be apply no contact, but she texts after just 24 hours. Do I ignore her? I do want her back.
How should I handle this?
My boyfriend and I ended our relationship of just shy of 3 years a little under a month ago. In the middle of our break-up he suddenly stopped

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Completely Confused? What does this mean?
Hi All- I was dating a guy for almost a year. We had a pretty great relationship- Things got serious. We told each other we loved each other. Even
Boyfriend told me he couldn't afford holiday, next day books one to Thailand
Basically my boyfriend of 6 months is $40k in debt (I'm debt-free). We had talked about going to Vietnam and he said he needed 6 months to save up
Not a regular here, I have a few questions...
I'll try to make this brief. Been in a relationship (23F) with a man (35) for 5 years. Typical in the beginning, though I always wondered how he
Weed or Me
Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months - he is 31 and I am 24. He has recently started smoking weed every night and I don't really
Is He Hiding from Me?
Hi All, Need some advice from those that are familiar with social media apps such as Instagram.. I'v been friends with this guy for about a
Red flag in friendship
I've been through a terrible first break up and was in a lot of pain. I was physically and mentally sick due to the stress of the break up but I'm
I broke hard NC after 7 months (B I G M I S T A K E)
No surprise, I'm absolutely devastated. She pretty much blew me off like I was a piece of trash. At first I was happy because she actually responded
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •