my boyfriend needs space to decide what he wants.....

My guy and I have dated for ayear now and right after spending a wonderful weekend together,he said we need time alone ,because he feels like he should be treating me better... which I suppose thats true, but I love him and I feel like things were good .... He says his last relationship ruined him for awhile and he really has not had time to recover from that, since we met about 6mos. after they broke up... I have no patience, but I wish I did,I really want to see if we can be happy together, I need advice.......

You want to talk about it?

Something doesn;t sound right...he probably wants to move on and this is the only way he knows how to break it to you. I'm sorry if I am being brutally honest, but that is the way I see it. I have been given the excuse of "I'm not good enough for you" plenty of times before. Probably horrible to say, but I think people say it so that the other person does not feel as bad. The truth is when you look back on it that's what you will be thinking!

Of course he could truly be lost on the relationship. Some people are just stupid and will break up with perfectly good people. My BF's old best friend for sooooo long is an example. This one chick and he were going out for 2-3 years. Things couldn't have been better! One day the guy just broke up with her because he did not want the relationship to get any deeper.

Do you mind talking about the relationship a bit more? Like what happened toward the end? Sometimes talking about it helps relieve some of the confusion and pain.

okay, think about why he wants space... maybe just give it to him

cichlid_chick

I TOTALLY AGREE. Finally a person who is not afraid to come out with it.

If you were to just follow 20% of these post on this site, you will see that first they post "My boyfriend/girlfriend " needs space then they post a week later "My boyfriend/girlfriend" wants to date other people, and so on and so forth. When a man or woman all of a sudden needs space, chances are..they found someone else they are interested in and they just don't know how to break it to you, or if that person is better then what they have so they try the "space " thing to avoid further guilt of the pursuit of another.

yeah, I am back, see I thought he wanted to persue others too,so I asked him and he said no, infact he said that he wanted me to block out a week in november for us to go away together..... but until then he still needs a little more space so he can stop smoking ,drinking,and so he can work out and feel better about himself... Also he went to a party this last weekend with people that all know me and they all gave him grief for not bringing me there...... I want to give him space,but for how long and under what conditions.... He also does not look at us as broke up but rather. just taking a break......

Right, ofcourse not, because he doesnt want you to date anyone else while he is having his "space". This is very typical. Don't let him pull the wool over your eyes. Go with your first instinct. This guy is up to something and thats why you asked what you did. And don't think all "friends" will rat him out...some of them may know things and may be afraid to tell you. BUt that is worst case scenerio. I still say "space out the blue" usually equals "i have an attraction to a new person, I want to persue it but have my safety net waiting for me in case I am disapointed with this "new" friend.

True true...he could be up to something. But we should at least not jump to assumptions about it all. Just realize that many guys (AND GIRLS) do do this...just don't be surprised if the break becomes permanant.

I dont disagree with everyone else, just keep the possibility in the back of your mind that maybe he has strong feelings for you, and that maybe its like he's saying it's to good to be true.

This is just a possibility. You always have to look at every possible circumstance. If not, your not really giving him or what maybe become of the two you a real chance.

Some guys think this way, Atleast I do!!

I really need some more ideas on what to do. I am running out of patience waiting, but a part of me tells me to be patient, because things may go well.... Do I give him a deadline, or do I just wait for him to contact me............................HELP.....

Wait...but don;t hold your breath.

Hello -

I am curious how this turned out ... did he really just want out of the relationship or just some "space".

I have recently had the same conversation with my boyfriend and I do not know what he really means ... break up or space.

Thanks

Well, see my post of "Trying to rebuild from 1500 miles away", and see if that helps. It may give you some perspective on his thinking. Now, I know I will never find a love like that again! It just took me time and space to see it. I have my own healing to do too.

Yes it's hard work, but it is worth it. True love never dies, if it is meant to be, he will come back to you....

I left for similar reasons and now, I can wait to get back with her!

OMG Melonie8, your birthday is VERY close to hers, and she lives in Colorado Springs...weird, huh? It sometimes makes you wonder how things are really connected...

Well, if you ever want to talk more PM me...