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Thread: Husband Doesn't want sex with his pregnant wife

  1. #1
    Member SLMitchell918's Avatar
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    Husband Doesn't want sex with his pregnant wife

    I am currently 6 1/2 months pregnant. My husband has been turning me down a lot lately ( sexually) and last night I finally got enough nerve to bring it up. Not only did it blow up into an argument ( I wasn't doing the arguing either) but nothing really got solved. i asked him why we never have sex anymore. i always feel like I'm being turned down. He said that its different since Im pregnant. Yet , its totally safe and I enjoy it. However I'm getting the empression that maybe he doesnt? Can any men relate to how he feels? I'm trying to be understanding but it hurts to know that I'm not attractive anymore because I'm pregnant with his child. What a bunch of bull.

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    While I've never been in the situation, I think maybe he is just a little freaked out by the whole, hey I'm having sex with my wife while my son/daughter is in there. Just playing the devil's advocate here.

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    Member SLMitchell918's Avatar
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    Possibly, but I am still his wife & have needs. Shes in my belly & doesn't know what is going on. I could understand if the Doctor said that it wasn't safe, but its totally safe. i'm pregnant, not dead.

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    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    Some men find pregnancy extremely sexy, others feel overwhelmed and find it mysterious and are afraid to be sexual.

    I had a friend whose husband was acting just like yours. His main concern that he was going to "hurt the baby".

    He said that its different since Im pregnant.
    Did he come right out and say he found you unattractive when you were pregnant?

    Sometimes it has nothing to do with attraction, and everything to do with fear. Some men get spooked because it's such a huge deal that their child is inside of you- they become afraid to touch you in a sexual way.

    He might feel disconnected and think he should not interfere with mother nature.

    I'm not saying any of the above reasons are right- but some men truly feel this way.

    My advice would be to do everything you can to have him feel more involved and connected to the pregnancy itself. Lamaze class would be one way to do that.

    Also test him and see what type of physcial contact he enjoys. If he still loves oral sex, then he clearly is just fearful of intercourse hurting the baby. Next time you go to your doctor have him come with you, and have the doctor talk to him about sex during pregnancy and point out that it's not dangerous.

    BellaDonna

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    I agree, Imean, I don't even have a girlfriend yet and haven't even thoguht abotu sex, but, I guess I would feel the same, that it might hurt the baby, what would solve my fears is a doctor visit.

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    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    Given the nature of some peoples perception about pregnancy, I think that says a lot about him. You did pick the guy and unless he gets help I doubt his perception will change.

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    Member CATLOVER's Avatar
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    Hey my girlfriend and her partner stopped having sex around 6months. She is due anytime now. She told me he said he didnt right having sex with her ....... she agreed as she hadnt been feeling sexy either....so they are bith happy to resume the sex post baby.....neither are worried or concerned that this happpened......and because of that it isnt an issue.
    She said her ex husband was the same when she had her first two kids....he went off it each time around 5-6 months along. So I guess pretty normal...and only an issue if one isnt happy...which is in your case. Hmmmm its not that long....do you think you can let the sex go until after the baby comes.........or maybe you could ask him to pleasure you in other ways for the moment. Its a temporary thing.

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    Platinum Member kellbell's Avatar
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    Hey girl,

    I remember you from about a few months ago. I am so sorry that you are still having trouble with this. Like the others wrote, maybe your hubby is afraid he will hurt the baby or he may feel overwhelmed with everything which can hinder desire. Have you talked to him about how you feel? Does he go to the doc with you during your check-ups? Maybe you can ask your doc in front of him about having sex while you are preggo. Maybe if he hears it from the doc himself, he may feel differently about the whole thing. People react differently to these situations. Good luck with everything and let us know how everything works out.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    Check out this site. It might help.


    link removed

    One thing I found interesting was that they said that some men's desire "may be dampened....by self-consciousness about making love in the presense of your unborn child."

    LOL....as if the baby can see anything. I'd find it comical if a guy thought his penis was large enough to actually enter a woman's uterus and wave at the unborn baby and be seen. But you have to be sensitive to their fears.

    Another good site is link removed

    If you google "sex during pregnancy" and weed out the dumb porn that tends to mess up the results, you can find some good sites.

    I don't think he's a bad guy, just a confused guy. Any problem, including this one, can be worked on.


    BellaDonna

  11. #10
    Platinum Member novaseeker's Avatar
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    Eh, it's pretty common, to be honest.

    It may not be a "fear" of hurting the baby, but it can nevertheless feel rather odd making love when he knows the baby is there ... it's rather odd, in a way, I can understand how your H feels. It's important to have intimate contact, but perhaps you can have a conversation with him about alternative ways of having intimate contact if he feels weird about intercourse with you at this time.

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