Scared To Death

Hello I just received a Permanent Protective Order. I on one hand feel like a huge weight has been lifted, but I also am very scared. This is final it never expires he will never be able to see me or the children again. He was a deputy sheriff for 14 yrs. I couldn't get anyone to help me because he was the a deputy he tried to make everyone think I was crazy. I left home 7 times but because I had been in a hospital when I was 18 because I am also an incest survivor he would tell them (the law) to help him find my wife she is suicidal and needs help he put me in 7 different hospitals until I finally took my car and my kids while he was out of town and drove until my car quit about 12 states later. I finally found help and he was charged with cruelty to children and felony assault, he lost his job as a Deputy and this final order says he can NEVER see his kids again I feel very empowered by this but I also am scared to death I need to get a divorce and it should be easy now. I just wish I wasn't so scared anyone share my feelings or have any advice please. Thank you 4my3kids

Hi and welcome to enotalone. I'm sorry for what you've been through; it sounds traumatic.

But what are you afraid of?

A Protective Order (PO) differs from state to state.

Could you PM me what state you live in so I can see what the PO entails?

4mykids,

You are extremely brave. You did the right thing for the safety of you and your family. During this difficult time- try to surround yourself with as much support as possible. Try to find a support group for women and their families, who have similar experiences.

It's ok to be scared- it's normal. He's trained you to be fearful and it's going to take some time to realize what it's like to have a nromal, peaceful life again. You'll do just fine.

Get a good lawyer and you can ensure that the divorce will go smoothly.

I finally found help and he was charged with cruelty to children and felony assault, he lost his job as a Deputy

I'm glad he is no longer working in law enforcment. It's scary when people who are not in their right mind get in positions of power and status. I'm so glad that you didn't give up and you were strong enough to fight until you found help.

It will only get better from here.

BellaDonna