I just don't get it. I am now married and have been for 8 years with a child. Before I got married, I had recently broken up with my ex fiance, so I was probably on the rebound when I got married, but I figured that with time things would resolve.
Well here it is 9 years later, and my ex who is also happily married with kids contacted me 2 months ago. We started talking and very fast it turned into an intense online/phone relationship. It felt to both of us like we had never been apart. Over the years he was always in my thoughts and I found out that the feeling was mutual.
Anyways after a month of this talking we, esp he decided we couldn't go on like this. We were both married and had families and we needed to somehow slow down the contact. Even though we knew how much we both still care for each other, we have to simply be happy with what we have.
So now we email each other once in a while, just so we don't loose touch. This was again his idea.
Anyways, since all this, I feel completley lost and broken all over again, like 9 years ago.
My question to you is this? How could it be that after all these years, marriage, kids, career and more, this one person could affect me still the way he does? How could I still have such strong emotions for this person?
I have tried to justify to myself that it is a fantasy of who I think he is and etc.. I was only 20 back then, I wouldn't seem him the same now etc.. but nothing seems to really work, because deep inside I know that I have some true ties to him. I mean my heart is shattered and every morning that I open my eyes, I don't look forward to another day of heart break. And honestly I don't know how I am ever going to get over him now as if 9 years has not worked, I don't think another 9 will help.
I am so destroyed inside. Thanks for listening