Nice guys do finish last!!!

Hi to all,

sorry for my english if i do some mistakes

Well i would not think that it would be so long but ..

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I had some posts before but today i'm sure of my topic, I'm old enough to know a little bit of life and the topic is right. I';m a "nice guy" and i have ricived my Msc and what ... nothing. I'm well educated and what i'm single becouse all the nice girls are taken, i was working hard to recive it. My frieds worked hard to get a girl and they succed, me? well i always finish last it those kind of matter. Girls witch i like r always taken or not interested. Why well today i was meeting this girl witch i like more then just a friend and what .. She was taken. Like always now i have again no point to put in front of me job is not so important when u r single. Don't have that 2 pearson to talk to. Well do WE the nice guys have as chance??

To be happy in our lifes?? The girl was asking me why i walk her to .... .

I responde that i always walk a girl that way becouse it's my duty "nice guy" thing well i hate it but i can't do nothing about it. Well writing this i'm drinking (Finlandia Lime) is it felping .... Well not i fell like a pice of crap. I'm lisenig a REQEIM by Mozart becouse I fell it like it was my .... .

It's always this same girls is taken or not itewrested.

Do we the nice guys have a chance n the real world?

check this out:

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you are not overlooked, i personally go for the good guys. no sense wasting my time chasing the bad ones. keep your head up chicks dig ya, even if some are blind as to what's important in a mate right now, your day will come! and it would be well worth the wait.

-DG724

You have to remember that just because a person isnt interested in you doesnt me that you are finishing last. You may be nice and have some trouble with women but you have to realize that women have different types. I suggest that you take a different approach with woman. The image that you want to present is that of a fun guy with the rest of the qualities you have. Give a girl an opportunity to like you before you ask try to be more than her friend.

Well, my personal experience too has been that nice guys do finish last.

Remember that there are as many dysfunctional women out there as there are dysfunctional men. Many of these women are drawn to men they can "change" or "reform" because doing so would boost their fragile egos and give them a sense of purpose they are missing in their lives. I grew up watching my mother get beaten up by my father day to day for some 15 years. I begged and begged her to file for divorce but her savior complex prevented her from doing so. She truly believed that she could reform him and that my brother and I were better off with a father than none at all. The beating only stopped when he was committed to a mental institution. Sadly, even today, she says she still loves him. This is an extreme case, of course, but the story should demonstrate that there are all kinds of screwed-up people out there who are drawn to men they can "fix".

You do have a choice. No one is asking you to be a nice guy. You can either continue to be nice and be ignored by the female populace that is attracted to danger and drama. Or you can stop being so nice and take your chances with whomever crosses your path. It stands to reason that if you are a nice guy, you should eventually meet a nice girl, but there are no guarantees in life. I think in the end, your personal convictions will be a far more powerful force for you in shaping your behavior than your desire for a relationship. Can you live with yourself if you became a mean person? To what extent would you go to attain a relationship?

I understand your frustration because I'm a nice guy too and like you, I don't have anyone. Back when I was separated from my ex, I met a beautiful girl that I absolutely adored who was falling rapidly for me, unaware that I was still married because I didn't have my wedding ring on. I could have kept my marital status a secret and we would have had a passionate relationship, but I wanted to do the honorable thing. I did not want to deceive her so I took her aside and let her know that I was separated but not yet divorced. Being a devout Christian, she was floored at this revelation. She thanked me profusely for my being honest and saving her from making a "terrible mistake." Then she left my life and found a lover in the next two months. My rewards for my being a decent man were a clear conscience and a heart broken into a million pieces.

I do hope you will hang in there and not compromise who you are. I personally find it difficult to swallow the fact that I am unloved, unwanted, undesired. Yet, I believe that integrity, character, and other higher ideals of life are things worth suffering for.

Nice guys finish first. They get the real relationships that last while the other guys are spinning their wheels going no where and wishing they could have what the nice guys have. Girls date bad boys, they marry nice guys. Which would you prefer? Never change from being a nice guy. And so what about when they finish, point is the finish BEST.

If all you care about is getting girls and never really being happy with things, feeling that lonliness and regret you always do feel, then change. But if you want to be able to be proud of yourself, do the right thing, and eventually end up with a great gal who loves you... stay as you are.

check this out:

 

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you are not overlooked, i personally go for the good guys. no sense wasting my time chasing the bad ones. keep your head up chicks dig ya, even if some are blind as to what's important in a mate right now, your day will come! and it would be well worth the wait.

 

-DG724

Everyone here should read that link

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i am wondering if that article was written by a bad guy who definitely needs some nice guys around so he can ...... ;-)

Not all nice guys finish last. My BF is one of them that didn't.

Anyway, I would definitely read this

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You'll have to add an "i" where the "*" is because it edits it. >.

The nice guys who complain that they finish last are merely vented their frustrations. The reason that it is so hard for a nice guys to meet the right girl is because 1) the jerks put up a nice guy act to fool girls and then girls have a harder time believing a real nice guy 2) girls want to set free the good guy within the bad boy (even if thats not likely to happen) and 3) there are alot of bad girls out there too.

But don't give up, cause the nice guys and nice girls end up finding each other. And in the end girls see that what they really want is someone to treat them with class and respect, the nice guy speciality.

And despite what any article says, nice guys are losers. They aren't clingy or desparate. They are simple good people trying to do the right thing.

Here's an article I think sums up a real nice guy pretty well:

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And my favorite part:

Being a 'nice guy' simply should identify one's lifestyle to practice that which we hope to find scarcely in mankind... Kindness. The willingness to respect and treat others with the same measure we hope for ourselves. I say 'hope', for true virtue will extend these kindnesses even to those who fail to give them in return.

Being a 'nice guy' simply should identify one's lifestyle to practice that which we hope to find scarcely in mankind... Kindness. The willingness to respect and treat others with the same measure we hope for ourselves. I say 'hope', for true virtue will extend these kindnesses even to those who fail to give them in return.

Women say they want NICE GUYS, meaning a jerks qualities that they like but take away the abuse. Everyone just says it in the wrong way. Saying nice guy is like saying clingy, inexperienced, panzy, and doesn't "get" women.

Yeah, nice guys do finish last. It is a fairy tale that a nice guy will meet a true love. Women tend to want a jerk, a guy that is not to interested, a challenge. Just went throguh the situation myself. Without effort, I was talking to four women, not being there, and they wanted me more. but being stupid i started a relationship with my now current girlfriend. now she is pregnant, and guess what being nice is not working. we hardly spend time together, it sucks. yeah, the relationships i had were not serious, but hey i was not alone, got as much sex as i wanted, and had no commitments. best part, was they were after me.

Now I am trying to make this relationship grow, and it feels like I hit a wall. well thats my life.

You need to decide what you want. Play the field, talk to lots of women, they do not have to be your type. but for some strange reason, if you are talking to a woman, women become more interested in you, even when they do not know. strange but true

hi,

well I just checked out the link that cichlid_chick posted and I must say that it is very true.

To kinda sum it all up...the "Nice guys" are the one's who are soo insecure with themselves that they need to put the blame on the opposite sex for not being adequate enuff to go out with, thus making them appear to be the innocent little victim of love...

They tend to hate the arrogant, self centred "jerks" that the women always fall for, however this "nice guy" attitude is more egotistical than a lot of the guys that they are rivaling against...

I used to be the nice guy until I realized that I grew in self acceptance and confidence in myself (which does not mean cokiness on any level) and I realized that I had something to offer, and hey, if the girl doesn't like me for who I am, then that's why there's more than one girl on the planet who can love me more...

so to all you nice guys, don't be the innocent victim, be the "kind guy" (as said in the mentioned website)... a kind guy means that you are generally, and genuinly a nice person, not doing good or being kind just to get the attention of the girl you are after..

instead be kind and curteous to everyone and a true self gratification will grow, and people will take notice, whether u know it or not...

so the point....

Don't be a "nice guy", cuz u will finish last...instead be the "kind gentleman" that will attract a genuine form of relation with the opposite sex...

So anyone that's not a nice guy is abusive? Crock of ****.

 

Women say they want NICE GUYS, meaning a jerks qualities that they like but take away the abuse. Everyone just says it in the wrong way. Saying nice guy is like saying clingy, inexperienced, panzy, and doesn't "get" women.

Read again, that said nothing about the guy being abusive. Nice guy is in no way anything near clingy, inexperienced, panzy, etc. And for it not getting girls, well the girl I'm talking with now seems to like "nice guys" and inexperience.

Well to me that means it gives me the impression that anyone who doesn't take the "nice guy" lifestyle is a jerk.

I'll quote skyteph here:

And for the whole 'I'm a nice guy' thing I keep reading about, yes women like nice guys but not ones who /call/ themselves nice. At very least in high school being called 'nice' by a girl is like the social kiss of death, let alone calling /yourself/ it. You may as well cut off your testies and hand deliver them to the girl.

I read your posts, and

Well I tried to change be Bad boy but it didn't work out, because I like to be polite to girls, walk them away, always be there for them LOL.

U see how old am I and I meet 2 girls witch I like more then just a friend, but there is always but (they are taken). Fighting for them is not my style because their happiness is more important them mine LOL.

I'm who I'm and nothing will change it. Will I meet someone? Well Time will tell.

u gotta know the balance between being too nice, and being to much of a jerk

it could be because you seem quite whiny about this. honestly, if you're a "nice guy", then why are you feeling frustrated? being "nice" is your own choice.

there are plenty of nice guy out there who get girls. i'm getting the impression that your problem is more in being shy or being a pushover.

i don't think girls are attracted to the bad behaviour itself from "jerks" but more that the guy is quite independent and is his own authority. most of the self proclaimed "nice guys" that complain are usually guys that are either just too shy, or want to self victimize themselves so they don't have to think they're responsible for their own failures.

one thing i find in these "nice guys" is that they usually go to women looking for their approval, and this seems to be the major turn off. it seems like they don't have any self respect for themselves, and need the woman to make them feel valid. they give her compliments all the time, give her gifts, etc, and it sends the underlying message that "i feel like i have to do all this stuff to make you happy" and that reflects that you're not so confident in yourself.

i open doors for women all the time, i'll buy them gifts occasionally, and i'll give them compliments when i feel like it, but i don't do that with the wimpish behaviour that these "nice guys" do, and that's all the difference.

it has nothing to do with "nice" or "bad". it's about the way you treat yourself.

Come on, girls are not that difficult to get, and you can get a girl regardless of whether you are a "nice guy" or not.

Girls want someone who:

1. They can have fun with

2. Who can protect them

3. Who can provide for them

4. WHo is caring and affectionate......

YOu have to make yourself fit those categories. The fact is that most girls follow thier hearts, rather than thier heads, and if you really are affectionate, and really do have a real career and a real plan for your life, and you know how to protect a girl, you will get a girlfriend. If you don't have a girlfriend, then you must be doing something wrong, and you need to take steps to correct that....

I'm not particularly nice, but I don't 'get' girls.

lol then cordivae

that's a problem...

don't try to be the jerk and assume that you are going to get ladies. cuz I'll tell you frmo experience, women will notice this jerk quality and it turns them off..That does not mean you can't be assertive, just know what's right...

aswell, read my earlier post, you would want to strive to be the KIND guy, the one who is genuine and honest and respectful towards life itself and it will evolve through a relationship trust me...

Slight misunderstanding. I'm not a jerk, in fact I have very strong ethics that would prevent me from doing anything like cheating or using someone. I also try to be kind and considerate. But I'm not very nice. My life has been mostly about conflict, and it has left me guarded and hard-headed.

I think this thread raises an interesting point of what people mean by 'nice'. A lot of people think it means weak, or passive, or clingy. But I think it just means having a good set of ethics when it comes to relationships. My friend Paul was a nice guy in most aspects, but he was a 'jerk' with women in that he cheated on his girlfriends, dumped them mercilessly when someone better came along and generally left a string of broken hearts in his past. Women loved him though because he could turn on the charm, and he was good looking. In many ways I'm meaner than Paul, but I'd never act the way he did towards women. Women don't love me because I am charmless and not good looking.

good point cordivae

i know what you mean, it's hard to keep up with these terms "the nice guy" or the "jerk"

I think you just gotta be a good person in general to be able to genuinly relay this personality in a relationship, that's all

Ahhhhh ... gotta love labels people make.

I label myself as "I have no idea what label I am so I am going to make up my own label which encompasses my personality and traits."

Frajhav,

Testify. Amen. The Lord is with thee.

Everything I've been saying since, like, forever. Though a nice guy doesn't want anyone to go to hell, thats not very nice.

Nice guys are the best guys. In fact, they are the only REAL MEN around.