Frustration with some fellow college students.

I just need to rant as I just can't hold this back in my mind right now. For the longest time while in college, I have become very frustrated with the people here in general. I would meet more and more people and realize that so many college students just don't give a **** about anything to do with their own life. What is so bad about actually going to go school for the love of learning and to figure out what you want to do in life? Granted that there still quite a few out there that actually do this, I for one cannot stand all of these people with this "who cares let's just party every night" attitude. It sickens me. It speaks volumes about how much you care about your own life.

I am not saying partying is bad and I'm not saying even partying two times a week is bad. What I can't stand are all of those people in college who just go there to **** around and do nothing constructive with their own lives. They just choose a random major just for the sake of choosing one and to 'get a job' when they get out. Other than that, all they care about is ****ing around. I try to ignore these people but they are everywhere at my college. It just gets to you when you hear person after person with that kind of attitude with their life.

And you can guess I'm close to the opposite: studying a lot and focusing on other things in life other than partying and messing around. But I do still get out. Maybe not the same type of 'getting out' as these people may think. I don't know about you but I want to grow as a person, not destroy myself by drinking to the point of retardedness almost every night. Or maybe they are right. Maybe we shouldn't give a **** about ourselves and not take life so seriously because we'll ****ing die right? So why try to grow when it will all probably just end. I feel like all of this 'growing' I've been trying to do is making me too 'grown-up' (if that's even accurate) for the people at my school. I love deep conversations, not 'oh yeah x went out with y the other day and we drank z'.

Thanks for listening to my random thoughts of the day. Maybe I'm in the wrong here but thanks for listening anyway.

I don't think you are in the wrong as such. The way you run your life makes sense to you. But they have the right to act as they wish - you may not approve but it is little over the top to be so critical that it becomes an issue that takes up so much of your thoughts.

I would assume there must be some people at college closer to you in the way they run their lives - maybe you are just hanging out with the wrong people.

Look at it this way: you study, you do well in school. You'll have the knowledge and will be successful while the ones who think its time to party will be regretting it in a few years. Your the smart one.

The typical students mindframe:

"Im here for the beer and the ball busting band

Gonna get a little crazy just because I can

You know im here for the party

And i aint leavin til they throw me out

Gonna have a little fun gonna get me some

You know im here, im here for the party"

- Gretchen Wilson, "Here for the Party"

Probably so.

I was afraid that I was being overcritical with all of that. I tend to do that a lot in my own life. I try to act too 'grown-up' around everyone when in reality I still have some 'growing-up' to do myself. This must stem from never going out in high school and running in to problems like severe depression and running away from home when I was younger that makes me what I am today. Too critical and in general just not as social as other people. I believe I have some wonderful qualities but I have some negative traits that I really need to get rid of.

Is it wrong for people to believe in their mind (if they don't ever say it out loud) that they think certain types of people are just completely going in the wrong direction with their lives? Wait, what constitutes a 'right direction' anyway? I have to remember that even this is opinion. Maybe my 'direction' in life is more in the wrong than theirs. Maybe we shouldn't even aim for a certain direction...

Not everyone who parties in university/college will "pay for it later", nor will everyone who does NOT party reap the rewards later. There are plenty of brilliant "partiers" who do just fine in their lives I am not much of a "partier" either (though there have been times in my life I was more so). but certainly do know many whom are, or were, and have managed just fine - and they do indeed care and have goals, though maybe not evident from a distant perspective.

I think you should place less focus on whether others are doing right or wrong, and just do what feels right for YOU. There are people of all types and interests, that is what makes life sort of interesting! Your way is right for you, someone else's is right for them.

Often too, appearance is not a good demonstration of reality. I can guarantee many of those "partiers" ARE indeed concerned about their future. You may not agree with how they choose majors, but I am sure most don't just randomly throw a dart at one either. There is no "wrong" major or "right" major either...people at that age are full of uncertainity about their future path - I mean it is a lot of pressure to be deciding the rest of your life. Sometimes some are better at hiding it then others. Some just don't want to think about it as they are not ready for that yet, but are there as they feel they have to be, so use it to socialize. There is no right way or wrong way, sometimes people need time off before they go back and find their way.

As someone whom is planning on going BACK to school in a year, I can say that just because I studied hard and focused on my initial run at university, does not guarantee success later either...it took more maturity and experience in the real world to realize what I truly wanted to do and where I really should aim my life towards - something most uni students won't be able to take advantage of But I also have an approach that life, while has plenty of issues in it that make it serious (and I have had my share of hardships and rough times too) is there for us to mold with, but also have fun with. When it becomes too much work, we need to find a new approach. Sometimes that does mean not being so stressed out, and finding ourselves some fun - not necessarily with partying, but whatever brings you joy. For some that may be "letting loose". I work hard, but I play hard too (not drinking and partying, but in other ways).

The university I attended, was labeled a "Party School". I am the type of person that went out and enjoyed myself. But at the same time, I made sure to take care of my schooling and I graduated with my Bachelors as planned.

I think that 20 is a frustrating age. I know that there was a time when I didn't like the changes in my life, and I blamed it on the environment. But I have realized that it is all about growing up and meeting new people, and going through new experiences. Are you attending a school with any friends from high school? Or did you move away by yourself?

I think that you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and i think you should meet people with common interests as yourself and you will be much happier. Maybe you can find people and have study groups with them, or join a club!

Good luck!

well, im sure some of them are in college because 'they have to go' who cares how they handle their lives? you do your thing, let them do theirs. school isnt for everyone ya know.

-DG724

The university I attended, was labeled a "Party School".

EVERY SCHOOL is a party school.

-DG724

Hi Caldus, maybe joining some clubs or organizations that interest you will help you to connect further with like-minded individuals at your university. I know it must be frusterating. I took a job on my campus working in the library and media center, and it has helped me make some really wonderful friends.

It's not so much the partying itself I'm worried about but rather their attitude they convey to everyone around them. Why do they never show any evidence that they do indeed have other aspirations in life to attend to rather then just acting totally irrational about everything in their life all the time? Is it like 'cool' to be that way around everyone or something?

Good point RayKay. Maybe deep inside there is a lot more to them that I never see. You're right though, just because I have gotten 4.0's every semester so far doesn't mean I will be successful in life. Just means I'm on top of school at the moment.

And yes I plan to join more clubs next semester. I know of some people I could party with, etc. (although I don't really know any of them well so it's kind of ackward for me every time) so I guess I'll try to be more social and less critical of other people there. I certaintly have the academic life down really well here. Now I need to balance it out with the social aspects of life. Heh, and to think most people are doing the opposite probably. Blah I'm so socially inept.

ya both my cousins that go to college have the wealthy families as for i do not.Both of them are wasting their college away partying non stop and failing their classes.I think of one of my cousins has taken the same class over and over again like 3 times like an idiot.All he does is wastes his parents money and does nothing with it but spend it on pot and alcohol and stuff.I look at them like idiots and i look at people like u caldus as the smart ones.These people are just really immature compared to you and keep it that way.Cause i personally think you'll get a great job and have a great life man if you keep going the way your going.And dont worry dude i bet u can find plenty of people u can be social with down there u seem like a very nice guy.Just balance it out the way u want it to be.

Yeah and the worst part is that they know better (obviously, if they got into that college in the first place) yet they just become totally corrupted.

Blah I'm so socially inept.

Nevermind that comment. It was one of those 'off' days for me yesturday. I'm feeling better about it all today.

And Sheyda, I actually don't mind doing that kind of stuff once in a while as long as it is done in moderation. I just hate it though how it becomes some peoples' lives. I suppose we're all just very different and we should just accept that.

Not everyone who parties in university/college will "pay for it later", nor will everyone who does NOT party reap the rewards later. There are plenty of brilliant "partiers" who do just fine in their lives

And that really bugs me. Is it right that I spend hours studying and end up with a really high GPA, as well as assuming a leadership role in a professional organization related to my club, yet gets passed over for "partiers?"

Point is to be who you are and be proud of yourself. In the end we will be happy and successful, and that success doesn't really have anything to do with what we learned or the job we have. It comes from being happy witth ourselves and following our dreams. If your not into parties, you just have different values and ideas of fun. But as long as you are still having fun and like who you are.

Besides, what makes a party anyway? Me and my best friend can have a great party playing games, watching science fiction, and talking about nothing. It's all how you look at it.

Shy Soul - my point is that people change, or grow, or learn at different rates. Some people take more time then others to realize what is important in their lives, some people never do. Some people need to study hard to get a good GPA, others don't. Some people can study hard and NOT get a great GPA. And there is more to being good at something and successful in career/job/pursuits then great grades...once you get out of school, no one ever really asks what grades you got I have found....shame cause I would not mind flashing my GPA sometimes, or at least my degree! (but will come in handy to get accepted to another program soon).

I don't feel we should make judgements on someones entire character or how their life will turn out EITHER way. Unless you ARE them, you really don't know what is going on in their life, their mind.

There is more to life than parties, and more to life then work. People find their own balance in time. Focus on your own goals, your own desires, and don't worry so much about what others are doing.

I was trying to cheer him up by commenting on how well prepared he is for life, not putting down others for their behavior. I'm sure he got a smile out of it, which takes out of upset mode at least into irrelevant mode.

What if you had seen "partiers" who took that partying a little too far and it ended up making a mess of their life for years? What if you had seen first hand the affect that such behavior can cause? And what if it was with someone you really care about? Then your attitude will be different.

Grades may not be important, but what they indicate should be. Someone who honestly cares about getting good grades and puts in the time to do well demonstrates commitment and dedication to high levels of performance. He's someone who isn't satisfied just getting by, he puts in 110% in order to make sure things are done the best they can be. Aren't these extra qualities that factor into being "successful?" On the other hand, what does partying show? That you aren't all about work and can have fun? Those who study alot have fun too, just in a different way. They can be social, they have fun... just in a much different (and pretty much better) environment.

Grades may not be important, but what they indicate should be. Someone who honestly cares about getting good grades and puts in the time to do well demonstrates commitment and dedication to high levels of performance. He's someone who isn't satisfied just getting by, he puts in 110% in order to make sure things are done the best they can be. Aren't these extra qualities that factor into being "successful?" On the other hand, what does partying show? That you aren't all about work and can have fun? Those who study alot have fun too, just in a different way. They can be social, they have fun... just in a much different (and pretty much better) environment.

Exactly. You took the words out of my mouth. I can see the good in partying too ... making more friends and acquaintances from your school and thus expanding your social network. So I think I just need to work on balancing the two right for once. It's always been way more emphasis on academics for me.