How do I over come my jealousy???

How do I overcome my jealousy and insecurities. My bf met my best friend for the first time on the wkend. They have so much more in common than he and I do. I got really jealous and started saying things like "your mine and no one else can have you". I am so surprised at how jealous I was. I even said to him "there you go why not date her". I was pretty bad looking back on Sat night.

How do I over come it? I really like this guy and I don't want this whole jealousy thing to destroy what could be really great. Any advice Thanks..

Hey Cassandra, I know how you feel. This all has more to do with our insecurities about ourselves vs. the people we love. The best way I've found to deal with jealousy is to keep a running list of things I like about myself and read it often.

You might also want to pull your boyfriend aside when things are calmer, apologize for your pointed remarks, and tell him what's really going on inside you. Tell him you love him a lot, but you're afraid of losing him to someone else. Tell him you need him to reassure you, tell you why you're special to him, and why he loves you. Discuss in a non-accusatory manner ("I' feel "X" when you do "Y") whatever behaviors are setting off your jealousy and ask him to stop doing them. I'm sure no matter how difficult it'll be for you to express your fears, he'd much rather hear the truth, than have you accuse him of things that he's never even thought of doing.

Finally, if all else fails, don't bring your boyfriend around your girlfriends. If he's like most guys I know, he'd appreciate a night off to spend with his friends anyway. And wouldn't you like the same?

Yikes, had you been drinking when you said that? Jealousy is not very flattering, but it is normal. Just because he and your friend have a lot in common doesn't mean anything. If anything, you should be happy that they get along! He's with YOU! He loves YOU! Be satisfied with that because insecurities are a sure fire way of losing your man. I wouldn't worry about keeping him away from your friends. That seems a bit extreme to me. You can't keep him in a bubble. It sounds like you have some trust issues. Relationships can be scary, but without trust, you've got nothing and that goes for friends too. Good luck to you!!

I agree with jna35..Besides he is just your boyfriend.. YOU DO NOT OWN

HIM., or his mind...Let it be. If you ever loose him because of "whatever"

dont think of it as your lost ... think of it as his loss!!

Thanks for the advice guys/gals.

YOU DO NOT OWN HIM

I know I don't own him, just as he doesn't own me. I said some stupid things to him the other night, but things are ok between us now. In future I'll keep my jealousy to myself. It was the first time i had experienced something like this, but it was a learning thing. I've had time to reflect and learn.

Thanks again.

I heard one time Jealousy is a fear of not being able to find someone else if you lost the one you love. You may not feel it but you can always find someone else and you will still be able to live if your bf and your bestfriend got together.

I heard one time Jealousy is a fear of not being able to find someone else if you lost the one you love. You may not feel it but you can always find someone else and you will still be able to live if your bf and your bestfriend got together.

i think you hit the nail on the head..

I read a book called "Overcoming Jealousy and Possessiveness". It was a great short book. Some cases were might be pretty extreme, but there were a lot of key points in the book.

Basically, what I got out of it is this. Jealousy is a behavior. Behaviors are learned over time. Behaviors can also be unlearned! No matter how long you have entertained this behavior, you have the ability to change it! You control your mind! Granted, your mind is a powerful thing, but you have the ability to change it and make it work FOR you, not against you!

Force those thoughts out of your mind. Remind yourself of the good things in your relationship. After all, he is with YOU! If he didn't want to be there, he wouldn't be there! Remember that! Being jealous or possessive will only push him away and hurt yourself, even though you might feel you are trying to protect and hold onto something you love so much.

Pick up that book, it was really good, and I think will help you out alot. I got it on link removed for like $5 used. Well worth it, and it will take you like 2 evenings to read.

Good point my friend.... I would love to look inside your head after all the knowledge and self learning you have done in the past few months..

take care.

I heard one time Jealousy is a fear of not being able to find someone else if you lost the one you love. You may not feel it but you can always find someone else and you will still be able to live if your bf and your bestfriend got together.

Sorry for the threadjack but this spoke out to me as something Im going through right now and its helped.