Does this make sense to anyone out here?

The other night, after a long night of troubles i was finally convinced that what my ex was telling me was very true. She told me that she is still "in love" with me and still "loves" me very much. she says at this point in her life, after all the drama that she's been in, in the past year or 2 years she's not ready to get back into another relationship just yet. Plus she has alot of stuff ahead of her, thats going to keep her real busy...school and work. She say's she needs me in her life still and i do too and we decided to just at least stay the best of friends because thats how we started off as anyways. I truly do love this girl, its crazy. The other night i just broke down crying and poured my whole heart out on her and but she has convinced me she still loves me and wants to be with me. just not right now.

am i wrong to be convinced by what she says? is she just pulling my strings or saying this to jus comfort me? have any of you ever felt this same way and eventually got back together with you ex?

I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend of over a year told me the same thing. He said he loved me but he didn't feel that we were meant to be right now...he said we have a future but its not right now. Well...he didn't want to have any contact with me during the time..until the future which made no sense to me and I told him that if we didn't have some kind of relationship we would never have a future. We are back together as of Tuesday we are still having problems but we are working on them trying to compromise to giving each other the space we need. So all I can tell you is keep telling her how you feel....show her that you are ok with what she wants...even if you aren't...thats what I did...I tried to act like I was happy for him...even though I was hurting so badly inside. Just be there for her and when she is ready she will come back around...she will realize that you may be the only one for her and you guys will get back together happily. Of course not every story ends happily so it was good of you to want to still be friends that way if she decides the other way you guys can still be part of each others lives. I feel for you...if you need anything just give me a hollar!!! Good luck and best of wishes!

It may work but seems unlikely to me. To love someone in a romantic way means that you want to be with them - not so you overwhelm them of course, but also not just as friends. If being with someone romantically is too tough to handle because of other factors then I can't see how that equtes to being in love. Part of being in a relationship is being there for each other when times are tough.

Well friend, I don't buy that "right person at the wrong time" crap at all. If you're with the person you're meant to be with, you don't break up to live life for a few years just to get back together some time down the line. It's just a lie dumpers concoct to ease their own guilt about hurting the dumpee and also "lets the dumpee down easy", which is also a bunch of garbage b/c it's a bold faced lie.

I don't believe she ever truly loved you. I don't believe she's too busy for a b/f. And I don't think friends is a good idea at all cause you're going to be covering up a bunch of emotions just to have her in your life in some way which is going to kill your self esteem and frustrate you. It won't let you heal for real and move on to someone else.

No Contact is hard. Dating other people till you find someone else is hard (at first at least and then it can actually become quite fun lol). Gettng dumped is hard. It's the hardest thing i've ever had to go through, and i've been through it a few times. But letting go is the next step...

Ditto on the crapola sentiments expressed above mine.

Salt

I wish it was that easy to let her go like that. The thing is before we got together she became my bestfriend first. And as of right now she still is, she's the one i go to for problems and talk to about anything, it jus doesnt feel right in my heart to jus cut her out of my life like that, it doesn't feel right in my heart, it doesn't feel like the right way to go at all. And maybe i'm wrong because i do miss her deeply wenever i have to say bye to her cuz i never want her to leave. And the worse thing of this all is that we are both still having sex or some kind of sexual act when we hang out. For example over the course of hanging out this past week we have some kind of sex almost everytime we hung out. which is bad but good at the same time.

Its so frustrating to love somebody with all your heart and they dont feel enough love to be with you. She say's she loves me still, she even hated the fact i even had a thought of joining the military because she said she would miss me too much because she loved me.

there has to be a way to make her realize exactly how much love i actually have for her and make her change her mind about this whole relationship thing, i need to make it so she is confortable enough to get back into a relationship with me. The love is there, i just need a way to respark it and make her realize im here for the long haul and wont her again.

You can't make somebody want to be with you. No matter how hard you try. They have to come to you on their own. Let me put it this way: She can't take a step forward until you take a step back.

Step back and see what she does.

Salt

Real Talk - this is my exact same situation... my ex has been through a lot and has so much to figure out in his life. He told me that he can't be in a relationship with me or anyone right now because he's got things in his life he has to sort out. He wants to remain in my life and not lose what we have.

It is killing me but I love him and I am giving him his space. Only time will tell but I am not going to walk away and not be around for the future. It's a risk but I am taking it. I truly believe sometimes people need a break to realize what they had, so don't give up!

If you can answer the question; "Do I actually love here?"

... and then base your decision on that answer, whatever it is that must happen , should happen. Every moment is opportunity to decide - with heart and mind - that's your conscience. Use it. That is what it is there for anyway. Good Luck!