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Got Back Together, still something wrong.


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Ok, after a month being "broken-up" me and my ex decided to try once more. She broke it off because there was things we needed to both figure out first and me and her have both figured things out and have grown since. We learned from the mistakes and have gotten better.

 

We also decided on taking it slow, we dont wanna rush back into it and try and making the relationship how it was before. But last night some told me something that sort of bothered me. She told me that when we are together now it doesn't feel the same at all. She doesn't know if its a bad change or a good change but she says it doesn't feel the same.

 

I suggested that maybe its because we jus spent a month trying to keep each other out the of the others head but i dont know if im right. I kno she loves me and i know i love her too. She went through a lot this past week because she basically chose me over another guy for the 2nd time (same 2 guys, she's picked me again, its a long story) but she says that she knows she made the right choice and that she loves me and sees life better w/ me.

 

My question is why does she sound like she doesn't even want me there as a b/f at times? She says she loves me and wants me, and she wants to pursue this relationship with me and then at the same time she says she doesn't know if shes ready to be in a relationship again? What does she really want? She gives me all these mixed signals...im so confused.

 

Then after all this i'm not ready talk, she text's me and says i dont wanna take it slow i want to pick things up where they left off, thats all i really want.

 

Im so confused...what does she really want??? I'm going to ask her straight up later wen i talk to her but what do you guys think?

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It sounds to me that she's just as confused about the whole situation as you.

 

I've never been in the situation to go out with an ex again, but I know with friends they usually havn't worked out as the problems you broke up for before remain and they seem that more horrible.

 

I think what you may need to do, even though you are back together, is to distance yourself slightly from her. If she wants to take things slow, then don't call her everyday or hang out with her all the time.

 

With my g/f we both said to eachother that we have separate lives, different friends, different things to do. The time that we do get to spend together is great, but there are times to be apart too. This provides us with a good balance and it lets both of us chill out and not worry or fret over things that are trivial (like her hanging out with her guy friends or me with my girl friends)...so spend some time apart and see if that changes her perspective on the situation

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She's confused and doesn't know what she wants. She needs more time away from you to think about it. If you 2 stay together, most likely she will dump you again b/c her heart isn't fully into it. Do you really want a girlfriend who isn't 100% into you? Tell her to take some more time for herself and only get back to you if she's sure you're what she wants. If not, relationship will fall apart eventually.

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I'm in an amazingly similar situation with my ex girlfriend.

She tells her friends she likes me again, and she shows all the signs of being my girlfriend , flirting, touching, looking into eyes, laughing.. (no kissing).. but then she hasn't said anything to me about getting back together, so I feel I am getting mixed signals.

 

It's been about a month since we broke up, and I feel that the only way things will get better, or change.. is to talk to her, and get her opinion.

Same thing goes for you, you have to confront her, and tell her how you feel, at the same time keeping your dignity.

 

Anyone else have advice for us?

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Sounds like she's got a lot of feelings going on -- it's hard (for both of you) to regain intimacy after spending time figuring out how not to be with each other. Maybe a good approach is to think of it like a brand new relationship, as if you've never dated before. But she does sound confused from the things she is saying. Sounds like there will be a period of uncertainty for you, and you have to decide whether you are up for it. Good luck.

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so you guys are saying to back off a lil bit?? I shudn't get into the relationship again then? I should leave her alone for a lil bit longer so she can make sure that the choice she makes is 100% correct and she really feels ready to be in a relationship with me again?

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Well you're not together..

so the best way to look at your situation is to think of it as a fresh start.

Pretend you've never dated before and you have this crush on her, and she has one on you..

 

If you put a little space in between you two, without totally shutting her out compeltely, do you actually think she'd give up that quick?

And vice-versa.. wouldn't you question why she did this to you? you wouldn't just let her go if you liked her.. you'd try and contact her.

 

Just let it be, and be aloof/cool in most cases.

 

Good Luck!

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this girl is the most confusing person ever...one minute she wants to be in a relationship then later on in the day she will call me and say she feels weird again and she can't handle a relationship. Im so frustrated, i dont even have feelings anymore, i dont feel mad or sad or happy anymore, im not even surprized from the things she says. I dont know what to do, i love her so much but i dont know how much more of this i can take. If only there was a way to get her to know for sure what she wants.

 

 

sorry, i had to let off steam some how, this is the only way i could think of.

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Man..

 

That's not right, she's confusing you way too much, you say she changes her mind in the same day?

 

Tell her that you don't want to sit here waiting for her to make up her mind, and that you're going to give her space, and to come to you when she has a final decision.

 

If she can't make up her mind.. walk. Seriously.

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i really plan on doing that tonight. We're supposed to go dinner and a movie tonight. She say's shes not ready for a relationship but still wants to hang out with me, she's not ready for the relationship part??? Does that even make sense? She want's everything to do with me except the commitment of the relationship?

 

I love her but i can't wait her for her to make her mind up, this is crazy, when we're together it feels so right and then she leaves and feels this whole different thing...Why? If i feel like this at the end of the night, im going to walk away from her and let her be. Its going to be hard but i gotta do it, it hurts too much to stay here and watch her do this to me over and over again, day after day.

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