The Sex Imperative

goddamn guys over 5'11"!

goddamn guys over 5'11"!

Muahahahaha! Oh wait ... I'm 5'7".

I guess size does matter...anyway I'll add my thoughts:

The way I see is sex is very important to people. Humans, at basic levels, are animals. We crave things every day: food, sleep, and sex. Relationships as I see it are based upon compatibility, physical appearance. Sex I don't see it as a mandatory thing, but it could be helpful. That is what keeps a relationship 'healthy'. Because otherwise you are talking and hugging and maybe cuddling. It doesn't neccesarily mean it's boring, but then where is all the passion? What is there to keep the romance going? Sex.

Because otherwise you are talking and hugging and maybe cuddling. It doesn't neccesarily mean it's boring, but then where is all the passion? What is there to keep the romance going? Sex

Or that little thing called love....

You underestimate just how passionate something like hugging and cuddling can be. With the way I feel for this girl, I long just to be able to hold her in my arms, look in her eyes, share the emotions filling up my heart, touch her cheek, brush the hair out of her eyes, see her smile, say I love her, take her out or just spend the whole night in each others arms, do all the little things that show she is the most important girl in the world to me....

That's not passion? That's not romance? And sex was never a consideration.

PS. Your contradicting your sig. Thought that all you need is love?

I didn't say it wasn't passion. Cuddling and Talking is good for a while. But what if you want something more that? People find that even though they've been together for a long time, that the passion eventually runs out. And sex is one way to ignite that passion. All you need is love, and one way to express your love is sex.

One way, but not the only and far from the only means of acheiving such passion. That's where a little thought and ingenuity comes in to play.There are infinte ways of expressing desire and passion. Find that spark fading? Turn up the heat, but do it in a non sexual way. It can be sensual, but that doesn't make it sexual. Better then the bonding of two bodies is the bonding of two hearts, two souls... sex is just one way to achieve that. It's the feeling of knowing that the two of you are closer and understand and love each other more then anyone else could ever that stirs the emotions, that ignites that fire and passion deep within.

Perfect beauty, perfect passion, perfect love can often be found not in moments of activity but in the blissful calm of nothingness....

True, true...this is another way to keep that fire going in a romance. After all, there are hundreds of ways. So as long as you find a way that works for to keep passion alive, then that is what truly matters.

O one thing for the guys that think height makes it easier for u to get a girl.Im 6 ft just about 6'1 and ive had no girls in my life.But then again im pretty skinny and plenty girls my age like the big muscle he man im arogant as all hell guys so iono this girl at my work is the first girl in my life ive actually talked to a lot too and ive never had a girl that was a friend so ya thats pathetic dont worry guys about ur height cause it doesnt work for some.As for shysoul's point's i really do agree with him.Too me i see that a long passionate kiss would probably be more exciting,Be one great feeling,and would be more loving to me then sex.Dont ask me why cause i dont know why i feel this way but it just feels that way and i like it.Whenever those stupid male hormones come in i try to vanquish them fast i hate them there a burden lol!

Shinobie,

One reason you see a kiss as more passionate is because you haven't had one, like I haven't either. Most people have had that first kiss long ago and so many more since that they they've lost sight of just how much it can mean. In the rush to move onto other things and take the intimacy further, people lose sight of the little things that make the moment truly special and memorable. For guys like us we appreciate just what it means to be able to share our hearts in even the smallest way, we don't take those moments for granted.

A kiss isn't just a kiss, its a declaration of your feelings for someone. Us romantics get it.

Shinobie,

 

One reason you see a kiss as more passionate is because you haven't had one, like I haven't either. Most people have had that first kiss long ago and so many more since that they they've lost sight of just how much it can mean. In the rush to move onto other things and take the intimacy further, people lose sight of the little things that make the moment truly special and memorable. For guys like us we appreciate just what it means to be able to share our hearts in even the smallest way, we don't take those moments for granted.

 

A kiss isn't just a kiss, its a declaration of your feelings for someone. Us romantics get it.

Most people don't kiss just to kiss. I know I didn't. It's because there is a mutual attraction between the two people (both physically and mentally). So yes, most people are doing it because it shows your 'feelings' for that person like you said. OK, yeah, some guys are going to do it in order to try to get the girl in bed. I've done that too, heh.

Hey ShySoul - I also long for that 'electrical' kiss with a woman - though I have shared a couple of 'drunken' kisses with girls in the past, and I did kiss my ex of course - there was nothing special, nothing spiritual, nothing meaningful.

I despise those guys that seem to go out every weekend, to the clubs and bars, and try their best to kiss all the girls on the dancefloors.

I just can't bear watching them steal a touch, making something so sacred and special, so profane...

A kiss can be a declaration of love, a reassurance, an apology, a thank you, a promise, a healing, a revelation... - not just a prelude to a good rogering later in the evening...

I'm one of those guys that lies awake late into the night, aching, and dreaming of a woman that is beside me, holding her, and kissing her so tenderly. I place so much value on those little tender things that bring two people close together - holding hands, tight embraces and of course kissing - things that most men find repulsive or just 'obligatory' to keep their woman happy. It makes me laugh sometimes how crazily sad and pathetic this world is getting

Here's a great poem on kisses I found:

Thomas Lux - A Kiss

One wave falling forward meets another wave falling

forward. Well-water,

hand-hauled, mineral, cool, could be

a kiss, or pastures

fiery green after rain, before

the grazers. The kiss -- like a shoal of fish whipped

one way, another way, like the fever dreams

of a million monkeys -- the kiss

carry me -- closer than your carotid artery -- to you.

I saw a very interesting programme on TV the other day where they carried out a semi scientific study into what attracts men and women to each other. The conducters of the tests were scientists (zoologists, psychologists etc...) ..................

I saw that too! You must be in the UK...

They had the last one in the series tonight - about love in marriage, and people staying together. They had that couple on there, that had been married for over 70 years!!! I thought that was great - you could see in their pictures that they really loved each other, unlike the 'newer', younger couples.

Over half of all marriages split up, most within the first year - something I've known for years! And that the #1 reason was affairs. It always saddens me how few people really know or understand what love really is...

I despise those guys that seem to go out every weekend, to the clubs and bars, and try their best to kiss all the girls on the dancefloors.

I just can't bear watching them steal a touch, making something so sacred and special, so profane...

Well, I think a lot of girls wouldn't look for something special at a bar or club. Some are probably there for the same reason as the guys.

Most people don't kiss just to kiss. I know I didn't. It's because there is a mutual attraction between the two people (both physically and mentally). So yes, most people are doing it because it shows your 'feelings' for that person like you said. OK, yeah, some guys are going to do it in order to try to get the girl in bed. I've done that too, heh.

First, trying to get a girl in bed? Bad Caldus. That doesn't seem like the guy I've come to know from your posts.

Second, I didn't mean that there isn't mutual attraction or that its just the prelude to sex. I'm saying that there isn't as deep a feeling attached to it. When I kiss someone I see it as sharing a part of myself, letting myself go and opening myself up in a way I've never done before. I'm not going to share that because I am attracted to someone, I want to honestly love them. I see people going on a casual date with a person for the first time and giving a kiss. I'm not going to do that. I want it to be deeper, to mean more. A kiss is an expression of what's in my heart, its not physical or mental, its spiritual. That's what romantics see in a kiss, and when it means that much to you, it becomes something much more passionate then what most consider.

I'm one of those guys that lies awake late into the night, aching, and dreaming of a woman that is beside me, holding her, and kissing her so tenderly. I place so much value on those little tender things that bring two people close together - holding hands, tight embraces and of course kissing - things that most men find repulsive or just 'obligatory' to keep their woman happy. It makes me laugh sometimes how crazily sad and pathetic this world is getting

Me too volution. It makes me sad thinking how much people underestimate or take for granted all those things, and just what real love means. Kisses are like the phrase "I love you," given out to freely and without thought to the real meaning and passion behind it.

By any chance, do you write? Perhaps poetry? Cause you express yourself very well and are a good writer.

goddamn guys over 5'11"!

 

Muahahahaha! Oh wait ... I'm 5'7".

 

me too. oh well, at least i do have other things to make use of though.

Don't get it twisted, women want and crave sex in their lives just as much as men. Like you said: eating, sleeping, and love-making are the basic and primary needs for every species. Women aren't willing to just sleep with any guy which, unfortunately, does not hold true for the male gender. This may be why it's harder for men to "get some" versus women. The woman is the one who decides whether or not to do the horizontal mambo. This holds true with every species. Sex stands on its own. It brings complications to relationships. One who is not satisfied may seek sex elsewhere or after having sex one partner may become more attached to the other whereas the other (usually the male) is no less or more attached. It, sometimes, keeps relationships going. Couples who fight a lot but are still together usually have awesome sex! There are people out there who cannot fathom going a day without sex (these people are called nymphomaniacs). It's not shallow to acknowlegde the physical side of a relationship, because it is indeed important, but it is shallow for it to be the main focus. As far as women getting sex easier than guys...that's bull. We probably could if we had no self respect for ourselves but (most of us) aren't going to sleep with just anyone. thereforeeee, the playing field is just about the same. However, men get more sex than woman purely due to the double standard. That is why women are pickier. If we're going to do something that is seen as wrong in our society we're going to make sure it atleast feels right. I think that sex is healthy and psychological problems can be linked to the lack thereof. As mentioned earlier, it is a basic and primary need to survive. Masturbation doesn't cut it. Yes, people often do get really into things such as religion and hobbies when their is no sex in their lives. I mean honestly, who would voluntarily pass up making love to someone you care about all day for hockey or a youth group meeting (taking into consideration that you don't have any obligations)? I want to know!

I despise those guys that seem to go out every weekend, to the clubs and bars, and try their best to kiss all the girls on the dancefloors.

I just can't bear watching them steal a touch, making something so sacred and special, so profane...

 

Well, I think a lot of girls wouldn't look for something special at a bar or club. Some are probably there for the same reason as the guys.

Good point

I despise those guys that seem to go out every weekend, to the clubs and bars, and try their best to kiss all the girls on the dancefloors.

I just can't bear watching them steal a touch, making something so sacred and special, so profane...

 

Well, I think a lot of girls wouldn't look for something special at a bar or club. Some are probably there for the same reason as the guys.

I doubt anyone seriously goes to the bar hoping to find "the one" and expecting to find someone who just wants to talk.

Women aren't willing to just sleep with any guy which, unfortunately, does not hold true for the male gender. This may be why it's harder for men to "get some" versus women.

You think men don't have standards? Well....WE DO! I don't even see the correlation to that being the reason it's harder for men to "get some." Doesn't make sense to me.

The woman is the one who decides whether or not to do the horizontal mambo.

In order for it to get that far you have to be "approached" first, unless your the type that asks guys out.

This holds true with every species.

Huh???

Like you said: eating, sleeping, and love-making are the basic and primary needs for every species.

Primary needs for each person: food, water, shelter. For a species: procreation. Love making is not the same thing. There is a difference between sex and love making. Sex is the instrument in which we have babies, but love making goes beyond that. It speaks to something much deeper and meaningful. To reduce it to a primal need is demeaning the glorious thing that it is.

This may be why it's harder for men to "get some" versus women.

Why do people reduce it to merely "getting some?" If that's your attitude you will never be fully satisfied because there will always be a part of you that knows something is missing.

There are people out there who cannot fathom going a day without sex (these people are called nymphomaniacs).

Not a real term, at least not medically. Look it up.

One who is not satisfied may seek sex elsewhere or after having sex one partner may become more attached to the other whereas the other (usually the male) is no less or more attached.

If they are going somewhere else, that speaks to a much deeper trouble in the relationship, sex is just one symptom of the problem. Same with one person being more attached, it's the sex that is the issue but the fact that the two aren't compatible and in love otherwise.

It, sometimes, keeps relationships going. Couples who fight a lot but are still together usually have awesome sex!

And those are dangerous and volitile relationships that will end up hurting both people tremendously. Sex can't make up for a bad relationship.

As mentioned earlier, it is a basic and primary need to survive

Even more basic and primary need, the need to be loved. Love is what makes sex worth anything at all.

Yes, people often do get really into things such as religion and hobbies when their is no sex in their lives.

They do the same thing even when they have sex in their life. It isn't to avoid the topic of not having sex, its about finding fulfillment in life and doing things that are important to you. Yes, someone can stay inside and have sex all day. But you can't do it forever. After awhile it will get tiring. On the other hand, think about going out and having a great day, or even a tiring and hard day. Then you come home feeling worn out, only to find someone you really love willing to give you another kind of satisfaction. When the world gets hard, having someone who does love and care about you makes it easy to go on. But its the love that does all this, not the sex.

But people don't have sex, just for passion. Although that would be nice. Sometimes, people simply have sex to relieve stress. I don't think it's a bad thing to have sex, for different reasons. Whether it's for stress, to have a child, passion, or simpy pleasure. It's when people do it on a constant basis that it can be a problem. It can lead to obsessions or sexual transmitted diseases. Nobody wants that. So how much is enough? Once a week? Once a month or year? I suppose it's truly up to the person to decide.

Iono its personally the person's own point of view on sex on how they think it me and some other people look at sex as making love and having true meaning behind it.Not go out and have sex as much as u can with ur bf or gf but thats other people's points of view.I believe in truly loving someone before sex.I dont think of it as anything of relieving stress or because it feels good.I know some people agree with me like shysoul because im basically agreeing with everything hes saying.I know there are other people like this out there but ive only met a few.We are the few but we believe in this i bet there are plenty of them here at this site.But i just meant out in the real world even my friends i dont see like practially anybody witht eh same thoughts as me on thi ssubject.

Shinobie...I agree with you 100%.

Im glad alabama that u are one of those guys that agrees with me and shysoul are another person i can think of that agrees.I got the part down of my thoughts and ideas on this subject now for the hard part to actually get a gf

Join the club...

So theres a club? When are the meetings?

The girlfriend thing will happen when you least expect it. And when it does it will turn your life upside down. It will be wonderful, confusing, and exciting. So enjoy your live now, you'll be glad you did later.